How do I wean?

[Artechim]

I need to wean DD. I don't like BF and it has dragged on forever. She is 13 months now and instead of dropping feeds she is wanting to feed more - atm she wants around 5-6 feeds during the day and then another 5-6 feeds overnight. I can cope with the daytime ones, but at night I just can't stand the disgusting feeling of being pinned in one spot with her sucking away at me. It really grosses me out to the point of nausea and I need it to stop.

I don't want to listen to her crying and I am not sure where to start. I have tried to distract her but that only lasts a few minutes and then she remembers what she wants. I have tried rocking/singing/patting etc at night and she will settle for nothing other than a feed.

Any suggestions would be helpful as I have no idea how to go about it.

[Arcadia]

I found that age a bit full on with feeds too. It does settle down again and tbh I think it would be easier for you to wean in a few more months. She seems to really need it atm for some reason. I would start with night weaning a d then try and replace one feed a day over a length of time.

Night weaning is full on at this age, but certainly possible. Can you get someone to help in the day so you can rest, because the first three nights will be tough. Is bub in bed with you?

[Artechim]

Thanks. She is in bed with me. If I ever try to refuse her then she wakes up fully and then she won't go back to sleep for another 4-5 hours, and then only if she is fed to sleep again making the whole thing pointless. There is no one to help because DH is at work all day.

How do I replace a feed? Do I just offer her water/milk instead? I have tried that and 5 minutes later she is whinging for a feed again.

[Arcadia]

It sounds like nights are the biggest issue, so I would start there. There's a great site that helps with night weaning for cosleeping babies...Here is the link to dr jay gordons advice http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

You might need to also start feeding her until drowsy but not asleep so she is able to fall asleep without a nipple in her mouth. I can send you my copy of no cry sleep solution if you like? Elizabeth pantley has lots of tips on that.

In terms of feed replacements, after 12 months she can have some cows milk instead of a breastfeed if you like.

I would go slowly and gently for both your sakes though. But I think you can certainly stop night feeds. Just be aware she might be hungry...when I night weaned dd recently it made her start waking for the day at 5am starving hungry!! We have started keeping bananas by our bed (thanks for that tip Marcellus)!

[Heaven]

Oh I remember that age. DD was full on too, wanting to feed ALL THE TIME!! But it did get better

Google Jay Gordon, he has an article about night weaning called something like 'changing the sleep pattern in the family bed'

[onthefly]

Could your partner take over night settling for a while? That might help - just have a clean break.
Once she's down with that you might have more luck during the day also.

Lol Arcadia, yes stock up on bananas or something. With a bit of time she'll get the hang of eating mroe during the day, which will make the whole process easier too.

[Jennifer13]

We replaced night feeds (once they got too much) with water at not much older than your DD. It seems to be quite common for toddlers of your DD's age to want more overnight. Must have something to do with all that newfound independence during the day and wanting to ensure they still have Mummy all night.

It took a few nights for DD to stop chucking a fit at being denied bbs, but she got the message much more quickly than I thought she would. After a couple of weeks she was readily asking for a drink and she soon stopped waking much at all. We let her co-sleep and gave plenty of cuddles when bb wasn't on offer. But she was only allowed to stay in our bed if she was quiet and going back to sleep - bedtime did not equal party time in our house.

GL! Let us know how you get on.