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Actually, it's not against the law for a member of the public to ask someone to not breast feed. It's against the law for service providers like restaurant owners. The laws are slightly different in each state.:
However, whilst it may be lawful for someone to ask someone not to breast feed, it is also lawful to say no.
I would be asking myself, is she asking you not to breast feed in photos/church for herself or her family? It sounds like she is using her 'conservative' family as an excuse. I get the feeling that she really doesn't want you to b/f in the church or in the photos because she doesn't want you to do it, rather than to upset any of her family members. If she didn't have any issues with it, she would just pre warn HER family that you might b/f your child in the church, and tell them to deal with it, it's HER day, not theirs. Photos are different I think, she could definitely delete the ones she doesn't want. Just my opinion. Personally I would be very offended and not go to the wedding.
Wow, just wow. You sound very reasonable and calm about the whole thing sepata. I hope your hubby sorts it out for you. I know that if it was me I wouldn't go even if she turns around and says that it's 'ok' now to feed your child. It's a bit tricky for her to change her mind now that you know how she really feels iykwim! I would feel extremely uncomfortable feeding my ds if I had been asked not to as I would know that I'm not really welcome there if I'm breastfeeding. My DS comes first and there is no chance I would be leaving the room or covering up, there would be no hope anyway as he is a toddler and has free access 24 hours a day so I couldn't stop him or hold him back without making a scene and everyone hearing "boobie, boobie, boobie" getting louder and louder with each second he is denied milk. It's also a horrible feeling to think that she is embarrassed or something by you and your parenting choices which at the end of the day have nothing to do with her. And I don't think she has the right to tell anyone what to do just because it's her special day... Is she going to tell all the smokers that they can't smoke, and all the alcoholics that they can only have one drink every hour, and all the sleezy men to only talk to one single girl, and all the loud mouth uncles to not even think about making a surprise speech? I mean where does it end? All of those sorts of things are worth getting her knickers in a knot about, not the natural act of breastfeeding. You invite your loved ones to your wedding to share your day, be comfortable and have a good time. If she doesn't like her guests or doesn't like her guests behaviours then she shouldn't invite them. Honestly I think it's incredibly rude.
I am another who wouldnt go, and I would outline why pretty clearly. I am bf in all the photos of me bar one at my sisters wedding. you can only tell in one photo and my sister sure as hell didn't/doesn't care.
Just an update, DH finally spoke with BIL and explained that the message was very rude. BIL said when they reread it they realised it was rude and apologised. DH said you can explains to an 18mo why he can't have milk now, and why he has to eat under a blanket. BIL said why don't you bring a bottle, H said when boobs are there the bottle is looked at in disgust. DH explained the option to not feeding in the church is walking out with a crying baby, which would be more disruptive. BIL agreed and said no one will be walking out lol. So it's all ok and everything is smoothed over :)
Good to hear you've reached an amicable resolution.
Glad it was resolved, I'm assuming your BIL doesn't have kids yet. When he has an 18mo I expect he will give you a much fuller apology about his unrealistic expectations :lol:
Oh, so glad to hear it's all sorted!
That is the best news! I hope you have a lovely time at the wedding!
Great resolution. It is good that they recognised when re-reading the message it was rude. Hopefully it will teach them to pickup the phone so that whatever there intentions, they are not misinterpreted through o r email and that also that it is not acceptable to ask anyone to to breastfeed their baby.
Hope you can relax and enjoy the day now