It is tough in the very beginning especially as you are both still learning..

Have you tried hand expressing a little to get the flow going before attaching her. Relax take deep breaths and all that. if you are tense bub can pick up on that.

if you pick bub up when she is ready for a feed or maybe just before she starts asking (soon you will pick up on the hungry signs) and take very deep breaths and hold her close and hand express just a little then slowly get her to attach..

I hope everything works for you and you guys end up having a great breastfeeding relationship