Night weaning?

[Sterla]

*Not sure if this belongs in the breastfeeding section, or sleeping section - so mods feel free to move*

DS is 16 months and is still breastfed on demand, including at night. I feed to sleep day and night too, which has always worked really well.

Recently however, I have been thinking about night weaning and stopping feeding to sleep. A few times I have found myself getting annoyed with DS feeding all the time overnight. Most nights he's okay - only wakes once, but he still has other nights where he's up 3 or more times, and seems to want to cluster feed around 4am. I really hate that I'm starting to feel this way, because I really do love b/feeding DS.
I also want to night wean so that I can change the way I settle DS, so that DH can be involved as well. I've been thinking ahead to when we have another bub, and I think I'll really need DH to be able to settle DS and put him to bed, etc then.

So, I guess what I'm after is any information, personal experiences, tips, reading material, etc that you can throw at me to help me prepare for night weaning. I really don't know how I'm going to do it, cause when DS wakes in the night he wants one thing, and one thing only! In the past when I've thought of just rocking instead, well, it hasn't gone well .

[Shanti]

Sterla, i recently night weaned 16mo DD and it worked really well!!! The first 8 nights were hard not much sleep but by the 9th night DD stopped asking for 'booby' every time she woke and even though she'd still wake as often, she would go back to bed pretty fast after a cuddle and/or a drink of water. I felt mean at first but it was the right thing to do for us and our family and I knew DD was only wanting it out of 'habit' and comfort which she can get from being next to us anyway as we co-sleep so she's never alone

you might have seen my thread somewhere, hopefully that helps you too.... feel free to PM me if you need any help etc as I can fill you in more in depth as to what we did

Well done on night feeding for so long, it's a tiring job isn't it!! I too started to really not enjoy the 'night' feeds and that's when I knew it was time to night wean.... it was all becoming way too demanding for me and DD was constantly waking up 3-4 times EVERY night...... it was killing me!

[Sterla]

Shanti - just had a read of your thread. It's very nice to hear a success story! I'm so nervous about it, but like you I feel that it's time for us. Will PM you .

[onthefly]

We did it at 14 months. Got DH to take him the first coupel of night (over weekend), then I would take him til 4-ish, when DH took over and I got a break. Initially pushed the night feed back to 3 or 4, then not till morning. It took about 2 weeks before DS stopped asking for milk at night.
It didn't stop him waking up. And he was still hungry, and we ended up feeding him bananas instead (I weaned to get my cycles back, or else I would have just gone back to breastfeeding).

You can try cutting feeds shorter and/or pushing them back. You can tell him the milk sleeps at night time or something similar. Getting daddy to take over at night for a while can also be a good tactic.

Good luck!

[MamaPan]

I am doing this at the moment too... i wont feed til 5am.. so far it is night 3... going ok
DS2 is only 12 mnths (well close to) but I am working and he was feeding every 2 hrs... couldnt go on. he is settling nicely holding my hand - i cant pick him up or he is diving down my top and gets v upset.. so if he wont settle w me sitting w him, holdong hand, patting etc i send DH in for cuddles...
let me know how you get along! its nice to know others are doing it at the same time.

[Nicole S]

I started to wean DS his night feeds in this last week and so far so good. His last feed at night is 9pm (if he is still awake or wakes no latter than 10) and then if he wakes in the night I have his sippy cup of water and give him that a quick cuddle then back to bed.
No BF until 5am.
Good luck hun

[~Kim~]

Hey Sterla I totally understand the frustration babe.

For us it was kinda on purpose and kinda accidental and only very recent. Like you I was getting a bit resentful. Then I read Shanti's thread and a couple from Olive. I had started to just offer a bottle of water overnight instead and drag out a feed as long as I could, and then when he didn't particularly want that I was just patting/cuddling him back to sleep.
Then I read the Jay Gordon website like Olive suggested. It had more of a pattern/routine set out so that loosely was what we were doing and I have to say it's stopped like magic.

At with the settling at night, he just decided a couple of weeks ago that he wasn't going to go to sleep when I fed him at night. Not sure if it was an age thing or just him or what. DH still can't settle him but at least I can put it off if I need to do something else.

[Olive]

like kim said i used jay gordan, its took until the 3 rd attempt (due to continual illness, things reverted a little) to stop altogether, after the first 2 times i had her down to one feed at 4am and not before, the third time was when she was having her operation, so i knew the night before HAD to fast her, so i had to resettle, didnt have a chioce and it worked! its been 2.5 weeks of no feeds overnight.
remember to take baby steps and start by reducing the amount feeds then cut the last one out if you think that will be the best for DS
we still feed to sleep for day sleeps and til drowsy for night sleeps, though she often fully awakens i also have to get DH to do the bedtime again without me home as its been awhile

[*EJ*]

My situation is slighly different as i'm pregnant but....

I haven't completely night weaned yet but it will be our next step. I too was at a loss how to attempt weaning as for us a feed was a sleep cue. Although a couple of weeks ago DS decided to bite me a number of times which really hurt so i stopped day feeds cold turkey as a result. I was way too nervous to put my bb near his mouth and decided that was it It actually went really well and it was only a matter of a day and he was going down for sleeps with no protest at all. At one stage he was protesting and i got the guilts and offered bb but he wouldn't take it anyway. Maybe he wasn't attached to it as much as i thought I don't like walking into his room putting him down and walking out after the hugs we used to have so now i pick him up, start talking to him softly, put him in his sleeping bag and then just hold him for a few minutes before i put him down. It's a really nice experience for us still

Night is a little different though, he has woken at night for most of his 15 months. Only sleeps through a couple of nights a month but we are down to only 1 feed now. I am waiting a bit so as not to take all bb away in one go but i'm not looking forward to it as at night when he wakes he wants 1 thing and 1 thing only just like you described. The hugs and the wispers just don't work in the middle of the night. I will try attempt something soon and hopefully with a little help from DH.

So even though my experience is slightly different (we've only managed day time so far) i just wanted to let you know that what i thought would be really difficult wasn't. I will defiantely have a look at the Jay Gordon website to see if i can get any tips on the night time weaning.

Good luck and hopefully it's not as difficult as you're expecting it to be