Okay, I've accepted that DS is having a growth spurt, in the middle of a Wonder Week and hitting some developmental milestones - I've written about it HERE. Apologies for perhaps repeating myself, but I just want to see if anyone has any ideas.
If everything he's doing at the moment is "normal," I'll leave it at that and just go with it. But if there's something I am doing, or something gentle I can do that affects his routine, I'd love to hear it.
During the day he's feeding only three times in 12 hours but about 6-7 times during the night. I would really really like him to "swap" the feeds so that he feeds more regularly during the day and less so at night - if this is possible with gentle methods. During the day, I offer it 3-5 times, and he refuses it.
A few notes:
He's offered the boob on demand. Any fussing, I offer the boob.
He's now refusing the boob during the day, even when we're at home, in a quiet room. I turn off music and TV and keep talking to a minimum, to try and keep him focussed on the boob. It doesn't work.
His night-time feeds are big feeds, not snacks. He empties one boob, and refuses the second boob when I offer it. He will not be placated by the dummy, he is obviously hungry and there's nothing else I can think of as to why he's waking up so often during the night.
I took him to a Chiropractor the other day for some gentle treatment on his neck (he was born with the vacuum) and the chiro also treated his gut, which he said was a bit tight. I don't know if this might also affect his feeding. I I'm just grasping at straws.
I am coping okay with the frequent night-feeding - my body seems to have adjusted already. But I feel like beating my head against the wall when he refuses to feed during the day. I don't understand why he's doing this even when I'm staying home and offering the boob all day, and avoiding too much excitement. I'm so frustrated and it's sending me a bit mad.
If it is a growth-spurt, that's fine - I can cope with frequent feeding. But why so upside-down?
There could be a reason but sometimes I found that the more I tried to find the answer or understand why I drove myself crazy. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to convince him to feed more through the day.
I read something once, that I would always repeat to myself during those many night feeds, it went something like babies are born with trillons of brain cells but they aren't connected via the neurotransmitters yet and human touch helps them to connect. I know it isn't the answer you were after but this helped me to get through. My DS was like yours too in that he wasn't feeding for comfort as he was feeding and taking quite a bit.
I hope someone comes along with some better answers for you it really is tough
Hey Seph, I just have one little suggestion? Is he warm enough at night time? I know if DD is going to be a bit restless it's more likely to be on a colder night than a warmer one. Quite often I will add one extra blanket or put a short sleeve jumpsuit under her wondersuit instead of just a singlet.
You are a wondermum! I love that you are so keen on gentle parenting and so willing to offer the breast on demand. My guess is that he isn't feeding during the day because he is full from the night time cluster type feeds......so I am sure once you figure out how to turn things around it will all happen really quickly and be a smooth process for you both.
At times like this I would just repeat the words of a wise friend 'my baby has a relationship to my boobs that doesn't include me (being my mind)'. It helped me just go with it.
You're bringing back memories of dd, but it must have passed, because by 5 months she was feeding twice overnight at regular times.
The other thing is, you make more milk whe sleeping, so maybe you have more to offer at night?? I really don't know...but trust your baby knows what's going on and repeat the zen mummy mantra 'this too shall pass'.
Can you sleep in the day, or rope in some extra support? You need to nurture yourself too!
He's probably too distracted to feed much during the day - it's quite typical behaviour at this age unfortunately, and they will tend to make up feeds at night.
Have you tried a quiet darkened room for day feeds?
Hopefully it won't be too much longer
i'm feeling your pain, im going through this too, thought i had started turning things around last week and we've gone backwards again. but i dont cope well with being awake so much at night.
Me too! She is too distracted during the day to feed properly so catches up at night.
She feeds better at night though, longer feeds, and if i can get her to take both sides she will then sleep for a longer block. Sometimes it is worth changing her position and then offering the second side cos she sometimes takes it even in her sleep.
Nocturnal feeder
but about 6-7 times during the night. I would really really like him to "swap" the feeds so that he feeds more regularly during the day and less so at night - if this is possible with gentle methods. During the day, I offer it 3-5 times, and he refuses it.
I'm just grasping at straws.
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it really is tough
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