thread: Some help for my sister...?

  1. #1

    May 2008
    Melbourne, Vic
    8,631

    Some help for my sister...?

    Hi ladies

    My sis is going through a rough time and she has been given some odd advice from her MCHN so I thought I'd see if anyone on here had any other ideas...

    My nephew is 8mths old. At about 3mths, he did the standard "wake up and stop being a newborn" thing and started sleeping a bit worse overnight. Wasn't too bad, sis would feed him back to sleep, he'd be fine.

    By 4-5mths old, he had started to resist bf during the day and seemingly as a result was frequently waking for feeds overnight, up to 5 or 6 times. Sis wasn't too concerned with this as she knows most babies need to feed overnight.

    At 5mths my sis started him on solids, as his bf had decreased during the day and he was showing signs of readiness. He took to it like a champ and has been loving his solids since.

    But now, at 8mths, he basically doesn't feed during the day at all - he will feed when he wakes, around 8am, and then *sometimes* at about 4-5pm and *sometimes* around 6-7pm, but then he crashes - often he's in bed as early as 5.30pm.

    He then wakes sometime between 10pm and midnight and then three or four times after that.

    My sis and BIL basically haven't slept longer than 2-3hrs since he was 3mths old and are exhausted. My niece, their DD, is often awake at 6am, so they can't even sleep in!

    My sis saw her MCHN today and she suggested they cut back on the solids and try and increase the bf, as she thinks the solids are filling his little tummy during the day and he's then having to make up for the lack of BM by feeding at night.

    This is going to be hard for my sis because he just isn't interested in feeding during the day. She has tried every trick to try and encourage him to feed - darkened room, lying down, away from distractions, everything - he just finds something else to occupy him - my sister's chain, her bra strap, even the mole on her neck when she basically got naked to try and encourage him to feed.

    She knows that BM should be his main source of food. She knows this, so please don't come down too hard on her!

    How can she encourage her DS to bf???

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2008
    In beautiful chaos!
    2,335

    I would simply keep offering it, before solids.....

    I know many bubs that have about 3 feeds a day at 8 months! The feeding at night, well, let me know when you find out! I give it when Lucy wants it:-/

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Hun, my DS fed overnight til we weaned at 23 months. Thats why I co slept TBH. That way he latched & I went back to sleep. It is very normal for them to do this, weather its for nutrition, or just for comfort.
    It does sound like he's still getting enough BM, but I would start offering it before food. Has she thought about expressing some into a cup or bottle for him to have through the day?

  4. #4

    May 2008
    Melbourne, Vic
    8,631

    DM she does offer... He just cracks it! Just isn't interested.

    Clover, he's now refusing the bottle... I wonder about the sippy cup??? That could be an idea... Thanks...

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2008
    In beautiful chaos!
    2,335

    Well I would offer bm in a sippy cup, on his breakfast etc. As long as he's getting it, doesn't matter how

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Has she called the ABA?
    Cutting back on solids to encourage him to have more milk doesn't sound like a bad idea in theory. It's not that unusual to feed overnight, but getting more milk in during the day might help with that. How to do it with a distracted baby....? That's a hard one. Has she tried getting in the bath with him? Or what about skipping a solids meal (or making it smaller) and just waiting till he asks? It might be that he prefers to feed on his terms only and doesn't want the boob pushed on him.

  7. #7
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Brisbane
    6,683

    OP, that must be very stressful for her. In this case though, I do agree with the MCHN. My DS2 did a similar thing - he took to solids really quickly and before I knew it he was hardly bfing during the day and waking several times during the night. I dropped the solids back and increased his bfing during the day and bingo, he went back to waking just once in the night (which he did until 12 months). It might take a while for your nephew to increase the bfs again, but if he's hungry there's a good chance he will. Your sister has done a great job of trying all the right things, hopefully with persistence she will see some results. It might also help to remind her that babies can often empty a breast in a couple of minutes at that age so even if he isn't attached for long he could be getting enough. I'll keep my fingers crossed for her that he plays ball and bfs like a champ!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    summer street
    2,708

    I think his age is a tough one at the best of times, and it's had to know if adjusting his feeding is really going to help his sleep. Can she try some other coping things instead? He will grow out of this, but she needs more sleep. What if sis and bub coslept away from dh, so then she could sleep in in the morn, and he can do the morning routine with dd.

    After battling dd's feeding and sleeping patterns, I now feel it is easier to go with it and adjust our life accordingly. I understand this isn't helpful to everyone...but it saved my sanity (we now keep bananas by the bed in case she is hungry...just another addition to our bizarre way of life with dd!)

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2008
    1,110

    You can also make "solids" that contain lots of expressed milk. For example 1 weetbix can sop up about 100 ml.....