Stressed out.. advice please

[lady_neon]

DS has always been a sleep fighter and honestly its seriously affecting my mental health. And now my milk is drying up. I always hoped to breastfeed DS until he self weaned, thankfully everyone around me is fully supportive of this. Anyway, my parents are insisting on taking DS for a night so I can have a break and spend some uninterrupted time with DH. I'm going to take up on the offer, otherwise I am going go totally lose it, but I'm worried about the logistics of breastfeeding and supply.

I've been pumping like crazy to keep the supply but its dropping. There are 2 bottles in the freezer which is not enough. But I don't have enough to pump more... And I know cosleeping and feeding on demand is what is going to keep up the supply but how does this work if DS is at my parents? Should I get up through the night and pump pump pump? Or wait till they are loaded, pump to drain and repeat? Are there any foods that are particularly helpful with supply or is it all here say? Do I buy a bottle of formula to keep at my parents just in case?

[Jaycee]

How old is your little man?

Not being able to pump a lot is not necessarily an indication that your milk is drying up. I was never able to pump a lot (I could never get the hang of it!) but I had a plentiful supply for both DS1 and DS2.

I don't have a lot of advice to offer with regard to your bub going to your parents for the night, DS2 has just turned two and I've never spent a night away from him, so I have no idea!

[Beatrix]

Lactation cookies, blessed thistle and fenugreek are all natural ways to try and boost your supply. Or you can speak to your dr from motilum.

sorry cant help you with the situation with your DS staying at your mums

[HotI]

Firstly, sleep deprivation is bloody tough. Both mine have been sleep fighters, and it really does do your head in.

Milk doesn't usually just dry up, unless there is something hormonal going on (like pregnancy). Why do you think yours might be drying up?

One night away from your little one is not going to mess up your milk. If you need a break, take it.

How much does your LO feed overnight, and does he settle other ways than feeding to sleep? Is he comfortable with your parents?

[lady_neon]

I know pumping isn't indicative, but empty saggy boobs are a pretty good gauge

Thanks Beatrix I'll try those.

HotI omg if I was pregnant I think I'd have a breakdown I'm certain the stress of his sleep issues is affecting the supply.

Sometimes he feeds to sleep and he does feed overnight (hence the frozen EBM). I have no problem him being with parents they have him a couple times during the week, mum has the knack with him. Always manages to settle him quickly and they are both anti CIO so yeah I'm fully comfortable I'm just worried about my already diminishing milk supply.

[Frangipani Lou]

Herbs of Gold Breastfeeding support does wonders for my supply. It has fenugreek and blessed thistle in it at an effective level. I take 5 a day.

[Eenee]

I know pumping isn't indicative, but empty saggy boobs are a pretty good gauge

Thanks Beatrix I'll try those.

HotI omg if I was pregnant I think I'd have a breakdown I'm certain the stress of his sleep issues is affecting the supply.

Sometimes he feeds to sleep and he does feed overnight (hence the frozen EBM). I have no problem him being with parents they have him a couple times during the week, mum has the knack with him. Always manages to settle him quickly and they are both anti CIO so yeah I'm fully comfortable I'm just worried about my already diminishing milk supply.

Boobs that feel empty and saggy is also not a good sign of decreased supply, mine go like this once kids get older and I still have plenty.

[PumpkinZulu]

How old is your little one again? Saggy, empty feeling boobs aren't a good gauge at all, so try not to worry about that one. If that's the case, my boobs would be empty several times over lol, if can actually be really normal as your supply settles and changes over time. The very best indicator of supply dropping are wet and dirty nappies. If that changes drastically, and for a sustained period of time (not just a few one offs) then there might be an issue. Big hugs, this breastfeeding gig is hard work.

[Barb Glare]

Hi, you seem very anxious and stressed. Is the thought of being away from your little one overnight causing more stress than it’s worth? Only you know that! but it can be very stressful for many mums to be separated from your baby. Your little one is about 8 mnths old, right? As others have said your milk doesn’t “just dry up’. And after those initial 3 mnths of overabundant supply when you basically have more than your little one needs, your body works out it only needs to feed one baby and yes, your breasts just feel normal and saggy the whole time, yet they are making milk more effectively than ever. You baby would be taking solids by now? How much milk do you have/can you express? You need to get canny about expressing, do it when you are fuller - feed him one breast and express the other. What kind of breastpump do you have? Above all, stay calm; take a big breath. To be honest, most nightwakers just want to hang out with mum, and if she’s not there they don’t even worry about it.

[LuluHB]

My boobs are definitely feeling far more empty than full these days and I've had moments of wondering about my supply too. I don't express at all so can't help with that side of things. Having said that, I also have a non-sleeper and if anybody on the planet offered to take her for an entire evening for me I would jump at the chance.

I would take the night off if you can. And if you don't want it, do you think your folks would settle for just any old baby? ;-)

[lady_neon]

He's fussing after a short time on the breast. They feel empty as in drained like after he's had a big feed. Not just softer, if that makes sense.

Honestly I'm not stressed about leaving him.. I'm feeling relieved. I'm stressed that he never sleeps. It's making me crazy, I've lost a pretty ridiculous amount of weight. Those things are affecting my milk supply. I'm just trying to work out the logistics of maintaining it, particularly if he's having a night away.

[Barb Glare]

If you have lost a lot of weight and are feeling completely stressed out then you might want to go to the Dr and get your thyroid checked and get a general checkup. it would be too bad to give up breastfeeding (which won’t be caused by a night away!) You don’t need to do anything in particular to keep up your milk supply - they feed you make milk. Is he eating much in the way of solids? If not it could help to up his solids (if he wants it) I mean this in the kindest way, but you seem to be talking yourself into the urban myth that “milk just dries up” - it doesn’t. Babies that age are veritable hoovers and they can empty a boob in 5 mins flat and then down the other one in less - it’s all normal. But get a checkup for yourself

[LuluHB]

I hear you LN. The no sleep is just a killer isn't it. I'm finding that occasionally I will feed my little miss from both sides but feel like she hasn't reached that really content stage, and so I give her a formula top up when I put her down 20 odd minutes later. I'm not sure if our "issue" though is that my milk supply is not as plentiful as it could be, or if its because we've always had significant attachment issues coupled with #3 being a very lazy feeding, or a combination. I have no doubt the "hit by a train" feeling I have is doing my milk supply no favours at all.

I hope you can work out the logistics. A night of uninterrupted rest would I'm sure do you the world of good, and maybe the little recharge would be beneficial to your milk supply rather than detrimental. Good luck.