So this preg is progressing at the rate of knots and im starting to think about my breastfeeding journey with ds and what i can do to be successful with this bub. With ds breastfeeding just never happened, he was a very difficult feeder (attachment and sucking issues mainly) and looking back i think i had a mild case of PND and as a result we put him on formula fairly early on as i could not bond with him through the problems we were having. It really was the best thing for us and i am happy that we did it and have absolutely no regrets but would still like to bf the next baby successfully.
So what can i do to prepare myself and have a successful journey the next time? I would really like to hear from people who were successful the second time around especially and what they did differently the second time. For me the big thing at the moment is that I will not place the pressure on myself that i did the last time. I think that increased the pressure i placed on myself last time made our journey very hard last time.
Your advice and support would be really appreciated.
Thanks!
Hi
I wasn't successful the second time around, but the third time around I was. I think the main difference is that I was stubborn & persevered. I pushed myself very hard to get it right.
I had a bit more support too. My health nurse was there & on call when ever I needed her. At 6 weeks I had him on the bottle for 2 days straight when I rang her in tears coz I'd started to feel depressed. I had bad PND with my girls, & depression through his pregnancy.
The best thing was my LC. I only spoke to her once, over the phone, but thats all I needed. She gave me a few tips, got me past that phase & from then on things were great.
I think the best thing to do to start with is join the ABA. Then I think its simply having faith in yourself TBH. If you believe you can do it, there's a good chance you will
I had a horrible time with my first born and he was on full formula by 6 weeks. I had ripped to shreds nipples and cried everytime he woke as I was terrified to feed him.
With number two I decided early on that if it works it works if it doesnt I am not going to stress myself out again.
I was so much more relaxed and kinda knew what to expect this time and we both took to it like a duck to water
With each subsequent baby breastfeeding has come on a lot easier and faster for me (except the last one but that was an iron issue)
Relax relax relax and dont put pressure on yourself to "get it" this time around. I think that made a huge difference for us.
Have the knowledge that your DS has thrived just fine on formula and that breast is best IF its best for mum too
Ooooh, just subscribing because I'm in the same boat.
FWIW Beautitude, I know exactly what you mean about putting too much pressure on yourself. I think we need to realise that everyone is different - for some people, being determined is a positive thing as it gets them through some hurdles along the way. For other people, it's totally counter-productive as it makes them really stressed which is not good for making the milk come in and actually being able to calm down enough to feed.
I was definitely in the same boat as you - my milk didn't come in until Day Seven and I was literally rigid and shaking when I was in the hospital because I so wanted to get it right. This time I need to tell myself to relax and one bad/unsuccessful feed is NOT the end of the world, nor is an occasional bottle if that's what we need to do to live to fight another day. I think I saw it as a black/white situation last time - if I gave ONE bottle, I was a failure and the whole BFing relationship was doomed. Too much pressure and totally unhelpful.
With DS, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I *had* to breastfeed. TBH I don't know how I managed to get through all the feeding, expressing, topping up over and over again.
With DD, I thought well it's either gonna work or it's not and I will do what I can to make it work, but if it doesn't that's ok too. In some ways, I think my experience feeding DS helped me realise alot of what it is supposed to be like so with DD I knew what to look out for and to not focus so much about the number on the scales (or those silly charts!).
The main thing I did this time though was that I put her on the boob right from the start and put her on every.single.time she looked at me or squawked. She may not have needed a feed but the skin to skin and nipple stimulation really helped my supply kick in. Yep, it was hard at home with DS (still is at times) as I spent a lot of time feeding DD in the early weeks. I made sure I sat and fed with him while he played or read books to him and kept talking to him. The constant feeding has paid off and we're breastfeeding successfully. Often, I still look at her while she's feeding and can't believe that it's actually working this time
I found this time round a little easier from the start as they put DD2 straight on my chest, we got to form a bond straight away which i did not get with DD1, DD2 was feeding within an hour of being born.. DD2 would have been a couple of hours as she was wrapped in blankets and waiting for an ambulance etc.
I had to stop BFing with DD1 due to surgery when she was 5mths old and i was devastated, i had worked so hard keeping her attached, keeping her awake for that time to finally form a BFing bond and then it was ruined.
This time around i did not place the extra pressure on myself, i didn't time her feeds (with DD i would freak if she wasn't on long enough), i'm not fussed about putting her on the boob to settle her (with DD this NEVER happened, didn't want bad habits), am happy to feed her in bed and fall asleep with her on the boob (propped up on a pillow, i can't roll on her).
I have just let go off the fear and anxiety that comes with TRYING to get the perfect BFing routine, go with the flow, trust your instincts and where possible have the longest greatest cuddle with your bub from the very first minute, it really has changed my BFing experience this time round.
Oh and i must say if it's not working please take a step back, relax and try again, but don't stress.. if it doesn't work it doesn't work.
Sorry if thats a lot of babble, prob no help but good luck.
Successful breastfeeding the second time round
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