I think the ideal and then the reality can be two vastly different things. Each individual has very different issues etc that it is impossible to make a blanket statement. I also think that whilst knowing the benefits of breastfeeding it is important to assess the overall impact on everyone.
I struggled the entire time I fed both my girls and whilst I am very proud of hanging in there for 12 months there were lots of less than calm and serene moments. In my experience BF (and all other things to do with NB's) was difficult and I was constantly exhausted and really rundown (I was also anaemic after a PPH) - I did not have any extended support and quite a lot of external pressure as well as trouble transitioning from a full time worker who was very competent and effective at a job that is very black and white compared to being bemused and confounded by a non sleeping, colicky, bubba who couldn't tell me what was wrong!
I hope you are ok and not feeling like you need to make rash decisions. Try and take care. xxx