Would you allow this?

[HotI]

My LO won't drink ebm. i worked around it by always being there. if something happened that i couldn't get back to her i would much prefer a friend to breastfeed her than for her to go without or be given formula. i only leave her with people that i trust. if at all possible i would like to know beforehand though, in case i was almost home or bub could be brought to me. it's more like if i was in a car accident that i could see it happening.

If i had a friend who shared more of my beliefs etc, it might happen at other times, but don't have someone like that at the moment (who is also lactating)

[Jellyfish]

Yep, I'd be happy for someone I knew and trusted to breastfeed my child. I'd also be happy to return the favour.

[loulabelle]

If my baby needed milk and I couldn't give it, then yep, I would. As long as I knew the person well, knew that they were healthy and drug free etc.

I would also have no problem feeding someone else's baby if I needed to.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so forgive spelling mistakes

[RainbowBrite]

No I don't think I would want someone else to directly BF my child but I would accept (and have for my two tiny prems) donated (screened) EBM.

[Jennifer13]

Yes, but of course there's limited situations where I would leave my baby without being there or have someone else's baby for an extended period of time.

I've told DP if anything happens to me (serious illness or worse) when we have a bfing baby the first thing he must do is contact my ABA group and put the call out. I don't care how the baby is fed, as long as it is given bm. IMO someone else bfing and holding my baby is not going to threaten the mothering bond I have with my child. That is about much more than feeding. I would just want to give my child the best possible food.

I'd feel the same bfing someone else's baby - I don't feel a bond when I cuddle them, just that i am satisfying a baby's need to be held. Feeding them is just one other need. I've bottle fed other people's babies and I don't think that encouraged a bond either. I would absolutely only do it if the baby's mother/carer wanted it though.

[STARRYSKY]

Exactly as Jennifer has put it so nicely!

I wouldn't have a problem with it and would BF another bub if asked to.

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

Some-one mentioned that diseases could be transmitted through breastfeeding. In fact, very few diseases can be transmitted through breastfeeding. Interestingly, bacteria can very easily be passed through formula - formula is not sterile and has been shown to harbour bacteria which can be dangerous if not prepared correctly. i guess it all depends what they alternative is. My children have been fed by friends and I have donated my milk to other mothers for their babies.

[nothing2lose]

My understanding is HIV and other STDs can be transmitted via breastmilk.

[onthefly]

some can.

[Fleur]

It would depend on the circumstances I guess. Like BW I would probably feel a bit inadequate... I couldn't feed Pie from the breast (I expressed for 14 months) so if she had taken it from someone else, I would have been devastated. If it was a baby I was BFing adn someone I knew, maybe. If it was a stranger... I would be more concerned with drugs, medications etc than diseases... just me.

[Gigi]

i bf bilby, but on the one ocassion my milk dried up (i had gastro really bad), i was beside myself as she refused to drink formula, so worried about her being dehydrated, i would have been so grateful, if i had a lactating woman willing to bf my child, until my milk came back. Seeing someone else feed her, i would have tinges of sadness, but my overwhelming thoughts would be "i am grateful, and this act is keeping her hydrated and out of hospital, so totally worth it to me".

Our society is so pro formula, we have a safe water supply and the money to buy formula. I think some might have different feelings, if we were in a place with unsafe water and no money/access to formula, then breastmilk would seem a more attractive option.

Bf-ing is an emotional topic, i can empathise, that for some women, in certain situations, it would be very upsetting to see anyone else bf-ing their child. So it's good that expressed bm is another option.

a highly individualist society we live in (freedom to choose is value held in high regard)
a highly individualist thread topic
a highly individualist response

so i wouldn't ALLOW another woman to bf my child, instead, i would BE VERY GRATEFUL if another woman did me the honour, of bf-ing my child when i couldn't (like when i was sick and bilby was still wanting booby every two hours, like usual).

i love how Jennifer13 has put her response, if i wasn't so clumsy with my words, i would have put it like that too.

When i had bilby, this was never mentioned to me, but if my milk had never "come in", or bf-ing hadn't worked out for us, i would have loved to been able to access any kind of "wet nursing". Whether it was the first three days of life, or once a week, or anything at all, i think (cos this is all hypothetical), that i would have viewed any donations of breastmilk (EBM or personally breastfed) as a gift beyond value, benefitting my child's current and future health. At the time, i felt i had only two choices, either my bm happened, or i would have to resort to formula. It would have been wonderful, to have another option, like a "breast milk bank" system i have heard about since, in some places.

again, my feelings are MY feelings, on this topic. i own them and do not expect anyone/everyone else to agree with me.

My friend, after years of medical issues and a very long IVF process, finally had her own bub. She was so worried she would be "out of it" after the c-section and didn't want her nb to have formula, while she recovered from op. So i offered (and she was glad) to express a few day's worth of feeds, and brought those in, in an esky. It wasn't needed, she recovered from the c-section just fine, but she and i were both glad, she had a plan b. I know it eased her mind, going into the c-section, that she had a few options.

[RainbowBrite]

i would have viewed any donations of breastmilk (EBM or personally breastfed) as a gift beyond value, benefitting my child's current and future health.

That is exactly how I view the donations that allowed my two LO's to have EBM in the NICU...I am eternally grateful to the wonderful ladies who took the time out to pass over their liquid gold to those that needed it.
My tiniest boy...due to illness...may not have survived without it.
How do you you thank someone for that?

[Eenee]

That is exactly how I view the donations that allowed my two LO's to have EBM in the NICU...I am eternally grateful to the wonderful ladies who took the time out to pass over their liquid gold to those that needed it.
My tiniest boy...due to illness...may not have survived without it.
How do you you thank someone for that?

Well if they are anything like me they are more than happy to donate knowing that they helping someone out. So thankyou is enough.

[tk1999]

i have recently wet nursed my niece when my sister, retrogal, was hospitalised. I fed her direct from my breast and offered to express if needed. I looked after my niece for a night to give her dad a break as he had really stepped up to the plate and was looking after their DD all by himself whilst worrying about my sister.

My own DD was a bit jealous when my niece was feeding but was ok when I said that the left one was niece's and the right one was for DD. DD was quite happy to share her milk then and if niece was feeding - then DD had to have some milk too.

I was very grateful to be able to help my sister and my niece in this way... in terms of thank you... none was needed. Being able to help was thanks enough.

[Liz]

In cetain circumstances yes I would absolutely! But not as an everyday thing

Yep.. exactly how I was going to answer

[tk1999]

Forgot to include what I would do for my own child(ren). When I have left DD with someone who is lactating - well really only my sister! I have said that I would be happy to retrogal to feed DD if DD wanted milk... the difference is that DD is older and will tell you that milk only comes from mummy. She calls BM mummy milk and cows milk is daddy milk.

DD realises that other women have breastmilk but at her age probably wouldn't take it direct from the breast - this upsets me as if something were to happen to me I would like to think that she would still be able to recieve BM - women could express and she could drink it from a cup etc but there is no BM bank in NSW - so were would the expressed milk come from?

My sister was able to express little amounts whilst she was in hospital... she may be able to express more in different circumstances and I know she would gladly donate expressed milk if something were to happen to me. I also know that my ABA girls would do their best to assist.

If I had a smaller child then I would not have a problem with that child being fed direct from one of the above women's breast.

[WeeMansMummy]

Hmmm tough one! I can think of 2 people I would be happy to bf DS, one is a current BFer and one bf her daughters years ago.

But I'd be happy to bf another baby

I have a friend who's DD is FF (9 months) and I said to her the other day, I wonder if we tried would she take it?
Well she was clearly disgusted by the suggestion! Lol