Would you let someone else breastfeed your bub?

[HotI]

Would / have you let someone else breastfeed your bub? Or have you breastfeed a friend/relative s baby?

I am trying to work out how i feel about this. I have spoken to some older women who were breastfeeding in the 70s who would feed other mum's (close friends) kids when babysitting and the baby needed a feed.

I am not immediately comfortable with the idea, but it also doesn't freak me out.

Would it make a difference if it was your sister vs a friend or sister in law (non relation)?

Would it make a difference if it was another woman s breastmilk, but given via cup or bottle rather than from the breast?

[Traveller]

Yes I would. However this is only after boytwin was very ill as a newborn and taken to a hospital where I could not visit often. He was all alone and as much as I tried to express I didn't have enough so he was topped up. He needed skin to skin and I really wish I had asked a friend (who lived nearby and was lactating) to feed him for me but I didn't consider it until later. So anyway that changed my whole attitude towards others feeding my children, but in a social setting I don't see that I would ever need to ask someone else to feed my child.

This is all hypothetical for me anyway, all my bubs are weaned now :-(

[Jennie13]

OMG I have never even thort of that before...do people do it??

How would you make milk if you didnt just have a bub?

[HotI]

OMG I have never even thort of that before...do people do it??

How would you make milk if you didnt just have a bub?

Sorry, i should have explained- I meant if the other woman also had a bub of similar age. I don't think you could just 'turn it on' for babysitting duties!

[chrysalis]

I am not sure about how I feel about actual BF (not thought of it enough really to form a view) but have absolutely no reservations about my bub receiving donor milk by bottle or cup if it were available.

[Nelle]

I think, if my bub needed someone else's milk, I'd prefer them to express. I think I'd feel jealous of the bond, I want to be the only one to snuggle my baby to my chest and stroke their soft cheek while they fed.

As a short term emergency solution I think I'd be okay with it. As a long term, bub cries for food, which means he daily asks for another woman and doesn't really practically 'need' me...I don't think I could do that.

At any rate, that's just me, very influenced by our current culture. And who knows, these are just my initial thoughts, I'll probably have found a whole new way of seeing this issue by next week.

[Janie]

I think I feel very similarly to Nelle about this. As a short term, or emergency solution, absolutely no drama. I think I would have more of an issue with it long term though. I wouldn't judge anyone else who did though, as I think it's important for all babies to experience feeding at the breast.

As for my babies receiving another mother's BM, well that's a no-brainer..........DS2 has already received breastmilk from three other mothers apart from me

ETA I just wanted to add something........if something were to, um, happen to me that I was no longer around, I would love for my DS to be BF by a friend or relative, even if only sometimes. I would feel awful for him that he had lost BFing so suddenly, and would really appreciate someone else having that closeness with him. I feel quite sick writing, and even thinking about that, but I just thought I should add it in.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I am all for baby having another woman's breastmilk but feeding from the breast itself i think would be really strange. TBH for me it was a lot about the bonding and i wouldnt want my child to share that with someone else (despite how different it would be to them) and i wouldnt want to share it with another child. ITMS.

eta *snap* nelle

[Cassius2]

I am all for baby having another woman's breastmilk but feeding from the breast itself i think would be really strange. TBH for me it was a lot about the bonding and i wouldnt want my child to share that with someone else (despite how different it would be to them) and i wouldnt want to share it with another child. ITMS.

this is how it was for my mum. my aunt one day picked me up and breastfed me while mum was in the shower. my mum never got over it really as she was devastated that she didnt ask and that there was the implication that i was hungry because my mum wasnt good at BF (complete bollocks, but apparently my aunt was very competitive). it backfired on my aunt though as her then 10 month old son witnessed this and from that day on refused to BF from her.

[beckoes]

I wouldnt mind DD having doner milk if i couldnt BF. As for being fed by someone else, i dont know, id like to say i wouldnt mind but something about it makes me feel uncomfortable.

[Jennie13]

This really got me thinking so I had to ring my my and ask, and she said about about the "wet maids" too

Interesting to think about. I guess if it was a close friend or family member it would be okay...what ever needs to be done to feed the baby

[Jennie13]

*my mum

[*Beema*]

I wouldn't be happy if someone else BF'd my child, and I don't think I could BF someone elses child.

I find it a very personal relationship and bonding, it is so much more then just receiving the milk. I would be ok with skin to skin cuddles, IF my baby was in NICU and either DH or myself were unable to go in for a period of time (ie due to illness), but I would be specific as to who I would be comfortable to have doing it.

I would also be ok, if bub received EBM donated (from a source I wholy trusted) or through a Milk Bank (which i think is pasturised), especially if bub was a prem and I had supply issues (which I did with DD) as BM is so much more beneficial for Prem babies, much gentler on their undeveloped tummies.

Wet nurses are still around, in South Africa, SIL friend had a baby earlier in the year and went back to SA after the birth and she had a wet nurse there for her little girl.

[Schmickers]

I don't think I'd be 100% comfortable with it, but I'd still prefer it to being fed formula if it were an option.

Interestingly, when DW was very sick after the birth of DD#2, we had a similar situation where her milk supply was becoming quite difficult to maintain. A very special friend who had an 18 month old that was still feeding expressed for us so we could top up DD#2 with breast milk other than formula. I had no problem with that.

[allycat06]

Most definitely...we drink milk from any old cow so I don't see how it should be any different for babies. It'd have to be somebody I knew well and trusted, I don't think it would ruin the bond I had with my child in the slightest. Much rather breastmilk from another woman than formula. I'd do it for a friend or family member for sure.

I read an article once about a man in some small country town in America whose wife died in childbirth...all the lactating women in the town rallied round, organised a roster and would come and feed his newborn each day and then express for him to feed bub in the evenings. What a lovely thing to do!

[Glamourcide]

I'd be totally cool with BM delivered via bottle/sippy cup, providing it was either through a legit milk bank (ie stranger who had been through screening process) or a very close friend or relative. Not sure how I'd feel about actually putting my baby to another woman's breast, I guess I'm a bit of a jealous Nelly when it comes to others doing 'mummy' things with my kids, kwim? That's not restricted to BFing either so I don't think it's just that I'm squeamish about that.

[jackrose]

I wouldn't have a worry about it in certain circumstances, ie: if my child really needed it and the person providing the feed had been screened etc.

I recently found out that my mother did this for someone - back in the 70s. I met someone recently who knew my mother back in the 70s/80s when we were kids. She was going on about what a wonderful mother my mum was and how there were always kids around but mum could always put on a good spread.. then she related a story about a time when a man turned up at the door with an infant and hurled the child in Mum's arms for care/feeding. Apparently the man's wife was really ill and he had no idea what to do with the child so mum ended up wet nursing him for the weekend. She obviously had one of us as a breast feeding baby at the time. I was astounded as I had never heard the story before! I have of course heard of wet nurses, but that was in Victorian times in my mind.

When I asked mum she said it was because she was a member of Nursing Mothers Association and the mother who was ill had sought out the association to find someone to look after her baby while she was in hospital. I was really proud of mum when I heard this story, well I am generally, but thought this was rather cool! Based on this story, I think it is a wonderful thing to do.

[Smoke Jaguar]

BTDT!!
I've expressed for other, non-relative babies.
I BF my niece as a baby when my sister's fishing trip took too long.
I have BF my niece on DP's side when we wereaway for new years and SiL didn't come. Niece started to miss her mum and asked me for my milk. As it's happened between SiL's in DP's family before we are all ok with it and permissions don't need to be sought.
I think it's a beautiful thing to share and wish DS had not been so attached to me that he couldn't even try someone else's just to accept that extra bit of luvvin' that another breastfeeder can share Maybe DD will!
I'm normalised to the idea for various reasons, it's not a head spin to think about.
ETA:
Janie, I feel the same should anything happen to me! It's very important to stimulate the neural pathways that BFing does for a baby's development.
Allycat - I read that one, too!