I just wanted to agree with MR that it's not uncommon to have attachment issues with an older bub/toddler. I think that because so few children are bf as toddlers it comes as a complete surprise and there's not a lot of good advice out there.

If nothing else, time will solve this problem. We had a problem just before age two and we tried everything to fix it. Eventually it all just worked again, no pain, no problem. I think our problem might just have been the size of my toddler and her mouth and a mismatch with my bbs. Getting the right position must have just not been possible for us until she grew.

There's another couple of threads around here with mums who've had the same issues as you are talking about. I'll see if I can find them for you.