when this happened to me, i was so exhausted, i couldn't think of anything to make it better, cos it takes energy to introduce solutions.

these are the type of things, i WISH i had instituted, into our life, when my child was feeding EVERY two hours, 24 hours a day, seven days a week:

- gotten a peanut sling (feed in it and maybe at some stage you'll be able to do something hands free whilst they latch on)

- gotten a comfy recliner to feed/settle in (save your back)

- get a cleaner however often you can manage it, even once a month (do wet areas, whatever needs it the most)

- get a home delivery of healthy food (fruit, veg, milk, bread), so you have good stuff around you to snack on

- whoever says "if there's ever anything i could do to help" - take them up on this - ask for meals to put in your freezer

- get home delivery of supermarket groceries (even if it's just standard stuff, then your dh will make less shopping trips)

- learn to say no, stick to survival stuff. stop saying yes just to be polite. if it doesn't suit you and your LO's, don't go.

- batch cooking and freezing (ha ha, i did zero cooking at this stage, we lived off crap that you heat up, from boxes in supermarkets, and weetbix)

- when you have a burst of energy, do survival stuff, like snackboxes and lunchboxes of food in the fridge. So when everyone is getting antsy and need to be fed in a hurry, it's already done. You need boxes of snacks too, stuff you can pick at one handed whilst bf-ing.

- have a box near your bf-ing area, with all the go-to stuff you need/get asked for, whilst you're bf-ing your nb. Tissues, wipes, lip balm for you, story book, small toys, spare flat nappy for spills, breastpads if you use them, spare tee for you, anything you are constantly getting up to get, like the phone, muesli bars to keep your strength up.

- think of washing priorities. only attempt to get the most important stuff done. if you're able, hang washing under cover, so that even when it rains, your washing will get dry (from the wind and air) and won't get bird do do on it. anything to prevent you having to do washing twice, or have a mad panic when it rains (to get it inside quick).

I know of one mum who bought paper plates for a while, she did not have the time/energy to do dishes, so used this as a temp. solution.

Try feeding in the bath, so at least you get to get to lie in warm water for a bit.

You gotta do, what you gotta do, to get through it.

My DD had her first 5 hour sleep at 20 months, i STILL didn't sleep, cos insomnia had taken over. Sleep deprivation is SO hard, and i was only doing it with one child, you have three.

When your dh is away for 12 hours, you need outside help, if you don't have willing free helpers, all i can think of is reducing what you need to get done and contracting out (cleaner, delivery of food). i had no-one i could ask, except my dh (who was also at work all day), so i sympathise. Worrying about money stopped me outsourcing, but i think i should have just done it anyway. All the money i spent on boxed food and iced coffee, could have been better spent on fresh fruit/veg. I always had the expectation that i would buy it, but coudln't drive for much longer than i expected, and then dh was going to buy it weekly, and then he kept on forgetting. Living on weetbix and iced coffee was not good for me at all. If you are rundown, it's so much harder to do all the mummy stuff.

best of luck hon. i don't understand what it's like to do what you're doing with two LO's, but i do sympathise.