But will give it my best shot - I don't think I'm a fantastic mum really, otherwise I would have done this from when she was born!!!!
Hun, you ARE fantastic - we make the best decisions we can at the time and it takes a lot more guts to say, "gee, I think I could do a little better," than it does to not make a change at all!

And you know there is a lot more to mothering than providing bm, this should be a guilt-free journey for you right now.