thanks Pixie chick - nice to know I'm not alone....

(although crappy to know everyone else just soldiers on through to BF and I just express!!)
Mel will you please stop beating yourself up, you obvously care a great deal about your kids or you wouldn't be thinking how you can change the status quo which is obviously working for you. You are doing a wonderful job keeping a great sense of humor. Think about it you are putting in a lot of effort for not a lot of output at this stage but it will pay off in the long run.

I think you need lots of & for something that is a work in progress