8 months no to bottle no to food!

[liss&illy]

Hi all

I am going back to work at the start of the new year (2 weeks!) and I have a beautiful baby boy who loves BF. I have been offering the bottle (EBM) on a consistant and regular basis from 4 months, because a friend gave me good advice to offer bottle from time to time so that DS will be used to this method of drinking when weaning/and or if I need to leave him for any reason... anyways taking this advice (& thinking it would be easy as my DD took bottles easily and without any issue) it has proven far more difficult with DS ...I tried every bottle/teat/method known to man! I could write it all here but it would be too long a story trust me I have spent hours and hours reading forum advice and googling advice from all round the globe!... long story short I have got him to the point where he will take water from a sippy cup and from 1 type of bottle, but milk is another story... but at least I know he knows how to use the vessle!

Solids are now the main issue, so from 5 months I introduced solids, basic mashed veges, starting off 1x day buliding up to 3x a day (offered not nec. eaten) by 6.5 months and he has never been too interested, some days he will have 1/2 cup (all day) total and others only a few tablespoons the whole day!, I stick to the same meal times of the day 7am 12 noon and 5pm, but have tried before BF, then tried for a while little BF then food (so he not too starving)... etc. He just does not seem to want to eat no matter which way I offer it, cold, warm, chunky, smooth .....recently he has taken to loving to suck on toast of a morning which is great but he is not really eating too much of it. he is 7.5kg (8 months old) so not exactly chubby, but not too thin looking? (he still has 6 BF per day)

Phew! so after the background there (sorry to be so babbly), my question/need for advice is these questions:

• how much solid food should an 8 month old need to be getting? should I be pushing the issue more? ( he refuses once he decides he is done shuts his lips completely and bury's his head in the highchair so you cant reach his mouth!) or is it normal for some babies to not be interested in food at this age? do I have to worry before 12 months?
• does anyone else have a baby like mine? did anyone tell you it was unhealthy?
• when he is in DCare 3 days a week in 2 weeks, do you thhink it will it be OK if he has a BF in morn and at 530pm, and miss the day feeds? having water from the sippy cup only?
  am I better off just doing a total wean and stopping BF altogether and riding out the storm as to not confuse him and make it worse?
  

sorry such a long [post~ I am just starting to get a little nervous! looking for some good advice.

Liss

[HotI]

My DD wouldn't take EBM, but would take water from about 6 months. We started BLS at 6 months, but she didn't start eating anything until 8 months, and it wasn't until 10 months that she started to eat much.

If your son likes toast, maybe try more fingerfoods to see if that excites him abit more. avocado, meat, cheese, pasta... vegies can all be steamed or roasted in finger type shapes.

I didn't push food with my DD, just kept offering and when she was ready she increased how much she was taking in.

I would be a bit worried about bub going all day without a feed, but you might find that he decides to take EBM if you are not there. Do you work far from day care? Any chance of stopping in at lunchtime for a feed?

I wouldn't wean at this stage, bub needs to feed somehow.

For my DD, it wasn't confusion- she just liked milk direct from Mum. The minimal advances we did make in getting to take ebm were when my Mum gave her ebm from a spoon or an open cup. SO this could be an option, if your child carer is willing to try.

good luck

[Bern]

my dd is 7 months and wont take bottle either. I asked our paedatrician and he said in the time i am at work if she eats solids then just offer some water aswell and they will be fine till you get home to offer a bf. we have also tried every thing... formula, ebm etc my mil even tried spoon feeding...... in the last 2 weeks we have been offering watered down cows milk and she loves it.

[liss&illy]

Thanks guys... HotI might try the "finger size" ideas as the toast thing is just in past week... he still gages a bit but worth a go.

Bern so its OK to give cows milk? might be worth a go... how much do you water it down? maybe he will like this more as it is not BM? which is why I think he will drink the water... have tried formula ( in the "sticks") just to see if this worked but he screamed more! finally got him taking about 30-60 mls before pushing away and crying and he had gas and pains afterwards for ages! I even tried Soy formula to see if he liked that but no go... can you tell me how diluted you make it?

[wysiwyg]

I would try more finger foods (lots of stuff can be spread on toast) and feeding at your mealtimes - so just let him sit there with you with some stuff he can grab at and suck on during the mealtime - if he doesn't eat it don't fuss. I think sometimes can be more of a control thing for them. You may find baby led solids (BLS) ideas work better as puts them more in the drivers seat - if you google Baby Led Weaning - Gill Rapley there is a web page with a good intro pdf leaflet and there are quite a few BLS threads on here.

Also I sympathize because my DD took an EBM bottle with no fuss at all but my DS won't have a bar of it - I have just given up with him because I don't have to go back to work till he is a year, so if he won't have EBM by then he can have cows milk.

For 3 days a fortnight I definitely wouldn't wean him, he will cope with those 3 days in some fashion I am sure. Also often kids behave differently at daycare to at home, so he may well take solids for them with no trouble (I think often is because they see others around them and kids love copying more than anything).

[liss&illy]

thanks wysiwyg,
its 3 days a week, but I know what you mean I am hoping for that to be the case.

I have been worried about his solid intake and if it is bad for him not to be eating by now... but I will read those resources you have referred me to.

With DD I she was minded by my sister for first 2 years when I worked 3 days a week. and so when she went off to school at 2 she was confident and happy to do so ... actually LOVED it - still does.. no tears nothing.

With my DS he will only be 8 months old and he is so much more "mummy's boy" and boobie obsessed that i am worried he will really struggle and be traumatised by the whole thing. this ontop of him refusing bottles (milk content) from anyone (tried leaving house, mum, sister, husband all tried at different times methods) and then not eating solids well as well! ekkkkkk! know what I mean?

[wysiwyg]

Sorry my mistake - I misread it. Have you spoke to daycare about it? I am sure they deal with similar things alot, our place have always been very understanding. I can imagine it does feel stressful - but am sure if you can convince yourself it will be fine, your DS will be fine - they pick up on our stress levels so much.
Anyway here is some "eating vibes" to your DS for the next two weeks!

[~ Mylitta ~]

I was wondering if you ever tried having someone else give the bottles or sippy cups of EBM to your son instead of you? Apparently it can make a big difference. Sort of a "why drink it from the bottle when you can get it from the source" sort of situation. You've probably already tried it though because it sounds like you've been pretty thorough. My son and daughter both wouldn't drink from a bottle either, even if it was fresh EBM.

I'm another that will strongly suggest Baby Led Solids. I've loved it with both my kids, and they love it too. The first food they both ever tried was florets of broccoli. My son loved it, my daughter looked at it with disgust. It's the only thing she's ever turned her nose up at though and she is a great little eater, so I'm lucky.

I'd skip the cows milk for now because it's best to wait until 12 months to introduce cows milk. As long as he's getting breastmilk when he's with you and water when he's not, then he should be getting enough to hydrate him. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks he'll become more interested in solids as well. Oh, you might also try just sitting him on your lap when you are eating you own meals and let him pick food off your plate. Bub's love to copy Mummy

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

it sounds like you have a normal 8mnth old on your hands - breastfeeding a completely normal amount of ties and eating a normal amount of solid food. Often when babies start day care and are exposed to all those new germs they get sick a lot - but breastfeeding protects them from this enormously. Now is not the time to wean!. Babies this age love a straw cup - straws seem to be such a novelty. Bottles are really just a drag - you get them onto bottles and then at 12 mnths you have to wean them from bottles! But if he doesn't he will do fine with a packed lunch and breastfeeds when you get home. You will need to express (at least at the start) at work, if only to keep yourself comfortable. But most employers are completely happy to accommodate expressing at work. Your little one will adjust - he will be fine, after possible initial hiccups.

[liss&illy]

Thanks all you have made me feel so much better! I will definately look more at BLS... and try some broccoli!!

Barb - just what I wanted to hear, exhale now... hehehehehee... I just wanted to know if he will get enough food/fluids. Fingers crossed he eats more with solids.

[Gigi]

just quickly

cow's milk is not ok at his age

i have come across plenty of bf-ing mums that do the drop off CC feed (give yourself 30mins before you HAVE to leave), and the pickup feed (at childcare), and their child is very happy to have that - reconnecting with mum (plus they love the bm).

Going from bf-ing on demand, to being away from your child part of the day/week whatever, is going to take adjustment, and the trialling of a FEW different ways of doing things.

you try something out
observe how he reacts
then make your decision, do i keep going with this?
or try something else
it'll take a bit of trial n error, to come up with what suits you and your bub.
e.g finding out how he WILL accept EBM. (syringe? sippy cup? spoon).

don't forget breastpads for you at work (and even an extra top in your bag, to change if you need to.)

breasts are amazing, they will adapt to the changed feeding schedule.

hope your workplace is good about expressing AT work. (to give you relief).

"until one, food is for fun".