i honestly understand the pain ur going through. my baby wouldnt attach properly leaving me with extremely sore nipples (and mastitis). the pumping was also sooo painful (probably because they never got to heal in the first place). and i was hell bent on not using formula so my poor nipples never got a break. i only lasted 3 weeks. it was heartbreaking after trying so hard. when i look at bub now though, he doesnt even attach to the bottle properly compared to all the other babies iv seen, he sort of just slurps it down.lol. so i dont know if we ever would have been successful.
but i am definitely hopeful that i will get it right next time.
from what i was continuously told (i had midwives at my house almost every day for 3 weeks) was that it shouldnt hurt throughout the feed. but its common for it to hurt just at attachment (maybe 5-10 seconds). all i felt was the grinding off his bottom gums on my areola the entire feed and nothing i did would change it.
as for the hand expressing, i would soak a towel/cloth nappy in hot water. lean over sink and wrap ur boob with it. do it a couple of times and then try expressing.sometimes it would take a minute or two to actually get anything out, but just keep trying. push towards ur chest wall and then "milk" nipple. kinda like milking a cow funnily enough. r u using manual or electric pump at all?
you really are doing so well persisting and i cant offer much help but i can send a big virtual hug and tell you i understand.