Just remember - a decent LC has attached a few thousand babies to a few thousand boobies - she is expected to be better at it than you!
Can you hang in there expressing and bottle feeding and formula feeding (not even trying attaching very often) for a few more weeks - that gives bubs mouth a chance to grow and herself a chance to grow a bit stronger, both of which can make things easier....
Or another option is to work out what you can put up with at the moment - expressing morning, lunch and before bed for example and FF the rest of the time. And see how you go.
In case you don't know - the easier way for production line expressing is to hot soapy wash (and sterilise if you want to) the pump bits each morning and then just store them in a zip lock bag in the fridge, milky drops and all, for the day and use as needed. You don't have to wash and sterilise each time.
Last edited by Kmn; August 21st, 2010 at 08:27 PM.
It sounds like we have similar paths atm. My DS is almost 3 wks and we've been battling sucking issues (tongue tie snipped) and poor attachment, if at all. I struggled to persevere with attachment believing it was for the best but then my DS wasn't putting on weight, and with jaundice I was constantly told how important the fluids were to help flush that out. I was under enormous stress, mainly from myself, to breastfeed until my Mum said to me I should be enjoying my DS, and to be honest I wasn't because I was dreading him waking up wanting a feed. I gave myself 'permission' to change to bottle feeding but expressing and topping up the required levels with formula. Currently it's working and I'm now enjoying my DS.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you are not alone and there are people who will understand. I cannot imagine trying to do all this with a toddler. You have to do what is right for you and your family. I wish you peace with your decision -whatever that may be for you.
Well done on the weight gain, and don't be surprised if a chunk of that is from your bm. You mentioned she needed less in the bottles so that's a great indication she's taking a lot from you first. GL with the LC today.
OK, so LC came late this arvo. She was lovely, we showed me how to attach properly. DD had a great breastfeed. Was feeling very optimistic. DD then woke up half an hour after great breastfeed after LC had gone, tried her on the boob again, not so good. And then started screaming blue murder. Ended 2 hours later after giving her two bottles. I've now been in tears for over an hour. Feel useless and an idiot. Can't get the hang of what the LC showed me. There's no reason that DD can't be a breastfed baby except for the fact that her mum is an unco idiot. Top day.
Oh no! Don't be so hard on yourself hon!!! You're not an idiot at all!! My DD had serious attachment issues and it took us a while to get the hang of it. Just keep trying and if you need, phone your LC for support. You'll both get the hang of it soon. My LC taught me a little trick to get my DD to attach and I'll try to explain it. I had to push down on the top of my nipple with one finger so it forced my nipple to point upwards, if that makes sense. Then I'd pop my nipple in DD's mouth. It took a bit of practice but we got there.
hun. You did one fabulous bf. Is the LC coming back? And just one point of encouragement, if things are going to go badly, it's going to be in the evening, when you're not as settled and everything is a bit more rushed and tense. My bf baby used to have about four feeds in four hours before 9pm. One bf at a time, hun. You're not unco, just like everyone else it's tougher at the end of the day. For your DD too.
Thanks Jennifer - I'm feeling very sorry for myself as you can tell. I just feel like an idiot because the LC explained attachment to me several times, I asked lots of questions, thought I knew what to do (after she showed me). Then as soon as she'd gone and I'd got DD in my arms on my own, it's like I'd forgotten everything she'd said and we were back to square one.
She's coming back on Thursday which is great. I guess I'm just feeling really sad that there's no earthly reason why we can't breastfeed - it's not DD's 'fault', there's no physical issues, it's just me who can't get the hang of it. I've been shown so many times how to do this and I just can't get to grips with it.
I guess it's not helping that the LC's way of attaching is different to the hospital's way so maybe that's confusing me. I'm remembering half of what the hospital showed and half of what she showed and confusing myself.
Aww no, you have to start somewhere! It takes time to learn this and get the hang of it, it really, really does! (and sometimes you have to unlearn a bit first, too)
You've had a good feed. So you know you can do it. Concentrate on those times when your DD is more settled - the evenings are often a shocker, even when you've got the hang of it.
You can do this, you just need to give it some time. Does she do phone consults? Perhaps you coud give her a call in the morning for some reminders. Or try the ABA helpline.
OK, now I'm a bit more together ... I think this is what's confusing me. I think the hospital taught me to basically use my fingers to shove the nipple into DD's mouth, making sure it was over the tongue.
The LC was doing something different and I'm forgetting what order to do stuff in. She was basically saying position DD so that her mouth is in line with the nipple, then press her chin into the edge of the areola (spelling?), wait for a wide mouth and then basically flip her head so that it covers the nipple.
So less emphasis on holding the nipple and I guess a bring baby to breast approach.
So I think I'm all fingers and thumbs because I've been used to concentrating on holding my nipple and trying to get it into DD's mouth and now I'm learning something new but old habits (which weren't working) die hard.
Your LC's way sounds right to me, shouldn't be holding your nipples at all I think. You might need to hold the breast a bit if you're large breasted particularly, to support it, but chin to breast, just below the areola (I do'nt know spelling either) and nose lined up with nipple is how I learnt it. You want to be moving baby, NOT moving breast. And make sure she's tucked in nice and close to you, chest to chest, with her head free to move.
Have you tried baby-led attachment at all? DD is so young that might work really well if you just lean back a bit and place her on your bare chest and let her figure it out.
not at all! demand and supply! As you start dropping FF and EBM feeds and she becomes more dependant on just you, she'll build your supply right up
Glad you're seeing an LC. I hope everything works out for you! x xx
wowee, fiona, you're doing so well considering how much you've had going on over the past few months!
I hope you're able to see what a wonderful job you're doing, caring for all your family, and still keeping sane yourself.
It's fair enough to feel like getting bf sorted on top of everything else is the last straw ... and well done for seeing what boundaries you needed at the time, rather than ignoring physical and emotional limitations, and burning out.
how exciting that you still have some milk!
everyone is different, but I would suggest definately putting your DD on the boob, and let her have a go ... maybe at a time when she's not too hungry, but also not straight after a big feed, so she's up for a bit of a suck, but not struggling and starving either. just a time when you can both be nice and relaxed, and it can just be some nice bonding time for her, whether or not she's able to have a bit of a feed.
You probably have a few ideas about what times of day your DD is nice and alert, ready to play/explore, but not too easily distracted? I'd go for it at one of those times, in a reasonably calm arena, where you can have at least 20 minutes just to yourselves ... maybe while DD1 is having a nap?
My DS even likes the odd feed while we're having a bath, because he's nice and warm and snuggly, and enjoying the skin to skin contact ... other ladies on BB I've seen mention having naked time (or at least top free time) in bed, where bub can snuggle up to your boobies and have a slurp if they're interested ...
and you can always squirt out a few drops for them to smell, to get them interested, and to encourage them to latch on.
If it goes well, the more you let her suckle, the more milk you'll have return.
You're doing such an awesome job!! I really hope the supply lines works. I know how heartbreaking it is hearing your LO cry but try to ignore it while you get the supply line ready for her feed, she will survive, it only takes a minute or so
Slings - we loved our Bubba Moe for our DD as it held her in the cradle/heart position so she was always lying right next to our hearts while in it. We used it constantly until she was 7 months and then we used it again recently on a few flights and she had just turned one. I highly recommend them! If you buy one, get it from somewhere that can give you a quick demo if you can. They're not hard to use but the little demo IRL makes all the difference. Once DD got bigger (so after 7 months) we used our Ergo. DD still loves both slings and settles well in both.
Formula - if the weather is cool, we left DD's formula out of the fridge for an hour max. She has NEVER had a problem with that.
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