Breast Refusal?

[starangelk]

I am probably just after some support here but any advice would be greatly appreciated. As some of you know, I am Bfing DD morning and night feeds and she is getting EBM while I am at work during the day. Her normal routine is to have a BF in the morning, then 3 - 4 bottles and then her night feed as a BF. The last 2 days she has refused to take my breast. She latched on yesterday a couple of times but came off straight away and this morning and tonight she wouldn't latch at all. She just arches her back and pulls away and looks away. It is really obvious she doesn't want to feed. I am feeling really sad about it because I am very concerned about her refusal. I still BF on weekend for most feeds so I can't see it can be an attachment issue. I have just gotten my period back for the first time so this seems to be the issue - would that be right or am I just clutching at straws?? She may also be having some teething issues. She's been quite whingey the last couple of days and when I put my finger in her mouth tonight, her gums felt swollen and a bit spongey or something. Yesterday when she wouldn't feed from me in the morning, I gave her a bottle of EBM and she took that. This morning when she wouldn't feed, I didn't give her a bottle and she went back to bed without any milk She sleeps through at night so it's a really really long time for her between milk feeds when she doesn't take any milk at the 6am wakeup........


Do you think if it happens again in the morning I should give a bottle or not? I really really want her to feed, I love the closeness and I am just not willing to give it up right now if I can help it.

[onthefly]

Your period and or teething could well be the reason. I think it's probably best to persist - but gently, don't try to force it. I'd avoid adding more bottles if you can, as that may just encourage her away from teh breast more. Maybe give the ABA a call for advice also.
Having nice time together can help get them interested again. Like taking a nice warm bath together or something like that. Your breasts will be there, if she wants, so she can decide to feed if she wants to but you're not trying to get her to (might work better).

[studymum]

I'd say its because she is taking a preference to the bottle. Its unfortunate but it does happen, the bottle is easier, don't have to wait for letdown, less work and starts to appeal more especially because they get a sense of own independence of helping hold it themselves, play with it etc. DD1 went through it about 6 months, it drove me nuts, she would scream and create until she got a bottle.

I'm not sure what to suggest seen as you have to work. But if you are available I would persevere and not offer the bottle when you are around. I've learnt since DD1 that they will come back if its the only options. They are quite smart little critters and will soon realise the only option when you are around if b00b. Try to fit more bf's in, say as you are dropping her off to care etc, that may help. You could also try expressing to letdown before offering her, just for a short time, and slowly wean her back off that?

[MantaRay]

It is probably your period. Many babies refuse the breast during the first period. One of mine did and the other didn't. The one who refused was a little fussy during my second period but still fed, and then was fine from then on. It's very distressing when this happens, but it's normal and they do go back to the breast after a couple of days. I would just offer calmly and not offer a bottle afterwards. She will drink what she needs. You can also tell from the nappies if she's getting enough and only worry if the wet nappies stop or drop right off.

When it happens, trying to be calm and relaxed when offering the breast is hard, but is the best thing to do if you can manage it. Some mums find that offering the breast in a bath or while the baby is still asleep or sleepy helps. If you can before and after work, lots of skin to skin contact is helpful, even if it means walking around without a top on for a while with baby on your chest.

Is she still taking the EBM you have expressed since she started refusing? My DS wouldn't drink the EBM I expressed during that first period either. He'd drink other EBM but not that EBM. A few weeks later I accidently sent some of the EBM from that weekend to day care (it had been frozen) and he still refused it!

[starangelk]

Thank you all so much for your advice - I so appreciate it. DD is STIL refusing me, so hasn't had a BF since Monday DH even came to my office with her today at midday and she refused to feed...... I have made an appointment with the midwife/LC tomorrow just to check her weight because if I know she is a good weight, it will be much easier for me to feel confident with not feeding her a bottle and persisting with offering the breast. Hopefully the midwife/LC can check the way I am holding her etc etc as well for me.

Mantaray - she's still drinking the EBM

Studymum - thanks so much for your thoughts, it pretty much confirms what I thought - she is taking a preference for the bottle.

Marcellus - thanks for your advice, it makes perfect sense not to give her any more bottles but this means that tonight, she refused to feed and has now gone to bed with her last lot of milk at 3pm. Since she also missed her morning feed she has only had 3 feeds today and DH said a total of 530mls. It doesn't seem like enough and I don't want her to be starving..........

If she wakes tonight I will just continue to offer the breast. Surely she will take it soon. I will keep an eye out for the right number of wet nappies. She is usually wet every change and we change about 5 - 6 times per day and not overnight as she usually sleeps through.

Thanks so much everyone, I feel like I am going crazy here and it's hard not to feel rejected by her.

[Barb Glare]

I agree with Marcellus. She is too young to wean naturally and she's designed (being a baby) to breastfeed. Try to go back to your normal routine - bottles when you are at work but breast when you are at home. Breast refusal is almost alway temporary at this age. The return of your period is probably a factor, but stick with it she will be back.

[starangelk]

Thanks Barb, I will keep persisting. There is just that little voice in the back of my head telling me she is hungry and I should feed her any way I can. BUT I will be strong (repeats to self)

[onthefly]

It's very hard. DS also went through a period of breast refusal (at a younger age) and he wasn't having any bottles either.
She won't starve herself, but I know it's going to stress you out heaps in the meantime

[UntoldAngel]

Oh chick huge I hope little miss is just going through a stage... remember she will let you know if she is hungry, you won't starve her

[studymum]

It's very hard. DS also went through a period of breast refusal (at a younger age) and he wasn't having any bottles either.
She won't starve herself, but I know it's going to stress you out heaps in the meantime

Yes I agree, she won't starve herself. When DD2 now does stuff like that I just keep saying to myself 'she knows what she wants, she won't starve herself' and she usually makes up for it. DD1 was a real pain, she did know what she wanted, and it was the bottle, and she was hungry as she would scream and not settle and bite me and carry on until I caved and gave her the bottle, and instantly back to the sweet happy baby.

[starangelk]

Hey ladies - well I did it. Her last bottle was yesterday at 3pm and she ended up going to bed without any milk. I fully expected her to wake during the night but she slept through and I ended up waking her at 6:30am this morning. I tried to feed her, she refused. Gave her some breakfast and then tried to feed her again, no go. She started to get tired so DH put her in the sleeping bag and I decided to give it one last try and SUCCESS. Thank God. Seriously. I could have cried in relief. She had a really good long relaxed feed and took both sides. She has had 2 other breastfeeds today. What I have noticed is that she will now only BF when she is really hungry. No latching on for a quick top up or snack, I've absolutely got to wait 4 hours minimum. Can't believe she went so many days with a BF, thank goodness for my electric pump.

[studymum]

Thats great! She might just be cutting down heaps, DD1 was on only 4 a day by 7 months, around 5 at 6mths. Or next week she could just go back to having more. Does she have water? If she isn't snacking now it might be worthwhile offering her small amounts, especially in this heat.

[starangelk]

Yep, she drinks water from her cup with a straw. I went straight to the straw because she was already getting the breast and the boob and I didn't want to confuse things more by giving her the spout. I saw a LC today just to check I was still attaching her correctly etc etc and she said she thinks its a combination of her teething, the return of my period and me working full time and her missing me Made me feel terrible but at least I was able to be comforted by the fact she is BFing again.

[onthefly]

That's great!

[HotI]

Great news.

[studymum]

Thats great it keeps going well

[starangelk]

Thanks everyone. DH just said to me "It's good that DD has remembered breast is best" I am so lucky to have his support and the support of you all on here too.