Bubs refusing all bfeeds today

[Snacks]

I'm so depressed. For the last week or so she has refused a feed every now and again (like one in the afternoon, or the one before bed). Yesterday she only fed first thing in the morning. Today she didn't even want that one. She screamed and arched her back, pushed my hands away from wherever I was touching her and cried more if I put her down. I tried to stay calm (even though my heart broke) and walked around with her to stop her crying. Then, when I felt we were both relaxed, I tried again. Same response. In fact, she then cried and cried until I fed her weetbix. She was happy after that. But all my subsequent offers of bfeeds (there were many - I felt quite full) she turned her head away and whimpered.
Anyone experienced a refusal like this? It really hurts. I'm so sad.

[sushee]

Snacks,

at 9 months DD began to refuse all BFs. She would just scream and turn away if I offered her the boob, and I eventually stopped trying thinking she'd coming back to it when she wanted to. She never did for me, and I eventually stopped producing milk. It was heartbreaking and sooo sad and I felt so rejected, but she had made up her mind. I didn't put her on formula, just made sure she had cow's milk in her food. She was never a huge milk drinker, and isn't even now at 17.

[Olive]

we too had breat refusal but cant remember what age, but i think its important not to force it, i think it makes it worse, just express and perhaps try it in a sippy cup for a while, she'll probably come back when she ready, GL, HTH

[Janie]

Amy, breast refusal is so awful. It could well be a temporary thing. I agree with AJP, it's important not to force the issue. Make sure you express if she's not feeding much, or at all. Try feeding her in the bath, or snuggling down in bed. Or try feeding her when she hasn't woken up properly, I find that often works for us, he is instinctively sucking before he knows what he's doing LOL.

Hopefully Barb is around with some ideas. Or Christy, she (unfortunately) is all too experienced with breast refusal. Good luck hun

[aussienic]

My son did this at 21 months when he was ready to stop.

I wish i had done the above suggestion of BM in a sippy cup. Good Luck. and a :hugs: for you

[christy]

*hugs* Snacks its so awful and frustrating. The EBM in a sippy cup is a fantastic suggestion, try to make sure you still express to keep up your supply. The other thing is to do things that you can sneak a feed in the meantime.

Have a bath together - often times Jovie would refuse for 24 hours and have the feed in the bath, although its slippery somehow it works.

co-sleep naps together & take your shirt off. If she's a snuggler you'll get her attached & relaxed... or try to wake her up at the end of a sleep and slip her on before she notices.

I would have days where I expressed all day & gave bottles & then she would feed in bed if we co-slept really well so I would feed overnight which helped both of us. Jovie was heaps younger in the 9-12 weeks category but it was awful. I couldn't believe that a baby would scream everytime they saw the breast. It was demoralising.

[Snacks]

Thank you all for your replies.
In regard to expressing, I really can't get much. I've tried hot packs etc and focussing on other things... I got a let down after about 10 mins, but still only about 20mls there. (My RHS is crap, always has been, but pretty much non-productive these days I think.) So that was all from my LHS.
Will I need to give her ABM if I can't get much more than that expressed? I know milk is a really important part of their diet - does it need to be BM or formula, or is cow's milk in a cup ok?
Will have a bath with her tonight and see how that goes. Thanks again.

[Janie]

I'm not sure what you should, if anything, give Natalie as a replacement, but keep on expressing, even if you're only getting a small amount.

If you're wanting to continue BFing, and the refusal continues, maybe you could think about having a LC come and see you?

[christy]

I could never get much with expressing either, but its the stimulation that counts for you, the 20mls in a cup is fantastic for her if she's refusing to feed off you. I wouldn't try cows milk yet but thats because our family has issues with it, you could try 1/2 water & 1/2 cows milk to dilute it and see how she goes with it. I think if you could give her a cup rather than bottle its heaps easier in the long term as she wouldn't need to be weaned off the bottle as well.

Is she teething? Is she sick? Sometimes teething & sickness can cause them not to want to suck on anything & if thats the case a cup would be best for her anyway in the meantime.

I saw a LC for our breast refusal and its the best thing I've ever done.

[Snacks]

Ok, I'll keep going with the expressing. She's really good with a cup - never liked a bottle, so that's not an option for us anyway.
We have been sick, but not for over a week now. I'm not sure about the teething - she hasn't been acting differently (and when she got her two bottom teeth her behaviour didn't give me any indication they were coming - they just turned up).
Thanks so much for your suggestions. I know my MCHN is a LC - I might go and have a chat to her.

[visitor2]

Amy a friend of mine was telling me last week her son weaned at 10months and the nurse said to her as long as he was having plenty of solids he should be ok.

I don't breast feed but i have given Eleanor cows milk before now when she has refused her formula she's done the same as Natalie has done and it's the only thing she would take.

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

They know how to get you where it hurts, don't they? It may help to keep in mind that 10mnths is not a normal age of weaning - they are designed to feed way, way beyond 10 mnths. Is she having bottles already? A healthy baby, in the absence a replacement wouldn't starve. There will be a reason for her refusal, and most times they go back fine. If she is eating and drinking fine there is no need to offer her formula (or if she already has formula, extra formula.)
Where babies do wean at this age it is generally because (understandably) mothers become concerned and offer formula is a bottle, and they learn to prefer this. Or because bottle are already part of their daily routine, and they seem to the baby a better option than a low milk supply.
Do you think your little one could be a little off-colour? Or teething? Ear infection? Often there seems to be no explaination for their refusal, but a few days later it becomes clear that they are unwell, and, just like us, when they are unwell they go off their tucker. If you are concerned, it would be worth a trip to your medical advisor to check it out.
Otherwise, Christy's ideas are fabulous. Definately give them a try, and then try them all again! The Australian Breastfeeding Association has a great booklet called "breast refusal" which is available for onlly $5 and has great information and tips.
My own breast refuser (I thought) had quit by 9-10 mnths.) But, after 12mnths he became a real "booby boy" and sailed on for, well, a long time!
Let us know how it goes, and if it is the end of the breastfeeding line (occasionally it is) you have really, really done the most fabulous job. 10 mnths? That's sensational. What a great start you have given her. Acknowledge your sadness - it is a precious part of our lives that most of us will only experience once or twice in a lifetime, but celebrate your success also
Regards
Barb

[Snacks]

Thanks Michelle. Its good to know that cows milk won't do her any harm necessarily.
Thank you Barb. Natalie hasn't had a bottle (even of EBM) for about 8 months now. She really doesn't like them. That's why I was so upset by her not wanting the breast.
We had a bath tonight which she enjoyed, but still didn't feed.
I hope she's not still sick...
Anyway, we'll keep plugging away. Thanks all for your responses.

[christy]

*hug* you are doing a great job!!! Nothing you are doing is wrong, okay? I just know I kept blaming myself for it & you don't need that guilt, you are doing a fantastic job!!!

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

From what you say, I think that with time and patience she will go back to the breast. You are doing a great job - it's such a stressful time when they do this. Always offer, but keen it "light". Don't let her know she is upsetting you. Chances are she'll feed as normal and then look at you as though to say "why are you stressing out, mum"? What about when she is nearly asleep? Often babies will have a 'dream feed" without even knowing what they are doing, and then, once they get into it, they are fine

Warm Regards
Barb

[Snacks]

Thank you Christy. I'm a little less emotional now.
Thanks Barb. I hope it is just a short phase she's going through.

[Janie]

Amy, I hope it's a reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaallly short phase! Christy's right, you are doing everything right, so please don't feel any guilt. It's so easy to do when these sorts of things happen. Good luck hun

[rosehannah]

Big hugs snacks, my son went through a period of Breast refusal around 9-10 mths, but not every feed so I'm not sure if this is useful, he would throw himself back and try to push against my chest every time I would sit for a feed, it was like he didn't want to have to stay still. To distract him I would go for a walk around the house or in the garden with him, until I had a let down and he was settled. I was probably being manipulated by him but at the time I was willing to try anything to keep our BF going. after a while things settled down and he stuck to a BF pattern of 3-4 feeds in 24hrs and did this until around 18 mnths. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR BF YOU ARE DOING A REALLY EXCELLENT JOB.