comfort sucking + use of dummy?

[liss&illy]

Hi

Lately I have noticed a pattern with my 6 week old little girl, in that she uses my boobies to settle back to sleep. Pattern is now that she sleeps really well at night (4-5 hour sleep after 6-7PM feed then 3 hours sleeps until 6-7 am) which is fabulous! and whilst she goes straight back to sleep after each feed at night during the day is so different. Not only does she feed 2 hourly all day, she will have a feed one boob, then when finished I change her, and try other boob (usually less time) she comes off the second content and happy smiling, and chatty so we have a little play (I read or sing to her etc) after 15-20 min or so she does the yawn and the sleepy eyes so i cuddle and pat her bum (which she loves) but most of the time she wont completely settle until she suckles again on my boob (I can tell she isnt drinking this time just little sucks) for about 5-10 min ten she is fast asleep and I can put her down. Thing is my nipples dont appreciate this much and no-one else can settle her back down (she will just cry until she gets boob) - my husband bought a baby dummy which acts in the same way (ie: settles her) but I hear so much about the BAD BAD dummmy I am scared to keep using it - so now I just use it alternatively.

Any suggestions on how I can get her to settle without the booby? Is the dummy that bad if it works at settling her?

we try trying to get her to suck her hand, pacing the floor, bopping, patting bum (which works temporaily but not without boob), cuddles, swaddling, she doesnt like bath that much to put her to sleep, ???
err.. she is crying now foer past 10 min when i write tis! my husband is doing everything to settle her but I just know 5 min on my boob will work! better run.

[MrsFabuloso]

I say use the dummy! They have been a godsend in this house! My DD still has one at 19mths. I don't mind it's only for her to go to bed with and when she's upset to comfort her. DS has one too and does what you say your DD does, but I pop the dummy in once he's finished feeding and he goes to sleep easily.

[BekZ]

Bub is still really tiny and sucking is comforting for her. I know that breastfeeding experts (please shoot me down if I am wrong) would say not to introduce the dummy because atm because she is trying to establish her milk supply.

However in my own opinion if you know that she is just comfort sucking and you need a break then introduce the dummy. In saying that my rule is never introduce some thing that you are not prepared to go through and ween bub off later, if that makes sense. On the flip side if you use the breast to comfort bub she may want this all the time.There is nothing wrong with comforting using the breast but you have to be prepared to want to do this. Plus bub is only 6wks old so if you stick it out for a few more weeks you might find that she doesn't need to comfort suck so much.

I personally have used dummies for both my girls because they used sucking as a comfort. DD1 was weened off by 18 months (around the time she stopped teething, is has never had speech issues but the weening process took a good month of unsettled nights. DD2 had a dummy from hospital and I am starting to ween her off now, she is 11 months.

Sorry for the rant...If you are determined to continue breastfeeding I would get some advice from a bfeeding expert about how the dummy impacts feeding.

[~StarBright~]

My ds was the same! We tried the dummy for a while- but eventually he spat it (literally) and refused to suck on it- and so i now continue to feed him to sleep. Hes 3 months old- and while he definately PREFERS to fall asleep on the boobie i find i can feed him till he is almost asleep and then i can rock him or even DH can walk around with him and he will go to sleep. Also now he knows his bassinette is where he sleeps- i can put him down sleepy and he will drift off on his own.

From 6- weeks i did think about trying other ways- but like you DS would just cry and cry and while i was trying new ways i felt horrible knowing that i could stop him just by feeding him so i decided to just keep doing what i knew worked, and as he has gotten older he is getting better at sleeping by himself.

Good luck- and do what feels right for you

[boomba]

It so tough those first few months. Your doing a fabulous job
you need to do what feels right for you and bubs. We never introduced a dummy and i demand fed and still do.
bubs may still want comfort from you even if you give them a dummy cause your all they want. Do you think you could wait a week and see if she has changed her patterns? I know Ds was all over the place with feeding and was good one week, comfort sucking the next. Next weeks she could be totally different?

But just remember to follow YOUR instincts!

[liss&illy]

thanks guys - yer I am trying to avoid the eventual dummy weaning. but as you said Starbright, I cant handle her crying knowing in my heart a suckle will make her feel better, so I do that... i just feel nervous about starting a pattern whereby she wont settle without breasts... But you guys are right I guess she is still very little.

I will keep doing the alternating (booby/dummy), seems a compromise on the advice?

after reading other difficulties women have had with breastfeeding, I feel like I have nothing to complain about!

[Ezz]

At 6 weeks, I would think that your feeding is probably established well enough to introduce dummy. We use one for DS, but only for sleeps/if he is really upset. I don't let him just suck on it all day - because then he wouldn't babble etc & I worry that it would interfere with his speech development.

Don't stress about the eventual "weaning" off the dummy. Babies will have to give up lots of their comfort things eventually - wrapping, dummies, boobies, etc. - but when the time is right, it's not that bad. DS wanted to be wrapped for ages (until he was 9 months) - but when he decided he didn't want it anymore, the wrap was all gone within a week & he was sleeping fine. I'm presuming it will be the same with the dummy.

[liss&illy]

thanks again - i feel like socially theres this general feeling that if you didnt use a dummy your a better mum... I had a friend over this week who said "x wouldnt know what a dummy was because I never gave one to her" like she had done a better job at soothing her baby in the early days...
I just want to be a good mum.

[mrsmac]

You can still be a good mum and use a dummy!! All of mine have had dummies, DD1 spat hers at 6 months but the other 2 had them for much longer. it settled them and stopped the comfort sucking on me so I found them a godsend.
Motherhood is filled with people who will try to make you feel bad for something so you just need to touh it out and maek your own decisions based on whats best for you and your bub! Having had 3 kids I now realise that they are all so different that you can never make blanket statements about what is good or bad!

[boomba]

Aww hun your a great mummy! Please dont allow other parenting stlyes make you feel inadequete! We chose no dummy and i am glad we didint but my other friends use dummies and are glad they did! So do what is right for you.

just rememebr your the best mum you can be! And your beautiful girl will love you matter what, dummy or no dummy

[~StarBright~]

lis.. i say follow your heart- you will not spoil your bubbs by giving her comfort- in time she will find comfort in other things- and play the dummy by ear- there is no harm trying to introduce it- and if she doesnt want it- then it is really YOU she wants anyway- and hey- your her mummy- and at 6 weeks old there is nothing wrong with that at all!!!

[sunshine_sieben]

It seems like your supply is quite well established by now and I don't think there is anything wrong with using a dummy for kids who have a strong sucking drive. My DD was like that, some nights she just wanted a boob in her mouth continuously. Unfortunately for me, she didn't like the dummy, so I let her have the boob. it was the only way. And it didn't bother me nearly as much as a sleepless night would have. I slept quite well that way.
At about 6 months she all of a sudden accepted a dummy, and boy was I happy about that.
Some "experts" these days actually recommend a dummy over thumb or hand sucking because a dummy can be "controlled". You can give it to her only for sleep (which is what I mostly do, although she also gets it for car rides). And if you want to wean her off it, you can take it away. You can't take away her thumb!

Some babies just have a much stronger need for sucking. A friend of mine swore that she wouldn't use a dummy. At 4 months she figured that she was putting her own ambitions ahead of her daughters needs. her little girl had such a strong sucking reflex and was just generally a lot happier once the dummy was introduced. She felt bad for a while, but has soon gotten over the guilt and found that she had a much nicer time with her daughter.

Having said all that, your nipples will get used to all the "attention". So it won't be sore forever. And a little top up feed (although she might not be sucking hard) is nothing bad either. So I say, do what works for you. Give her the dummy without a bad conscience, if that's what she wants. Yes, eventually you will need to take it off her, but until then, why not use it.
I would only urge you to use the dummy in a controlled manner. Not just giving it to her all day, but using it in those tired moments to help her drop off to sleep. Make sure she isn't wanting to suck for food, as this could mess with your supply. Be sure she has lots of boobie time, too. Even when she just does "fairy sucks", it still stimulates your supply.

You are a great mum. Don't let anybody make you feel otherwise.
All the best, Saša

[Jennifer13]

The first six weeks is usually the time that bfing experts say to avoid the dummy, both because it will mean less stimulation to the bbs that are still getting the hang of how much milk to make and because often baby is still hungry and even though a dummy settles them, it's not what they need.

I guess there's no hard and fast rule, but I would say if you have successfully established bfing and your little one is doing well then don't avoid the dummy! Sucking is a baby's way of settling itself and my DD was sucking on her wrists prenatally. It is a much stronger need in some babies than others. (In fact, we were doing so well with bfing and my DD wanted to suck after a bf - not on my bbs at all, but her own hands, causing blisters! - that we introduced the dummy under close supervision in hospital). And FWIW, we had no dramas giving up the dummy (which she only had at sleep time) just before she turned two. She just stopped having it for daytime naps for a week and then we put it away for night time. Ten minutes of fuss one night, and that was it. So don't believe the horror stories!

Hope it gives you some relief. Also, remember to keep the dummy very clean/sterilised until she's mobile (at which point everything goes into her mouth and there's no point!).

[sunshine_sieben]

Also, remember to keep the dummy very clean/sterilised until she's mobile (at which point everything goes into her mouth and there's no point!).

Lol- so true. My MIL always thinks dummies are gross and unhygienic. I point out that DD can't put anything else in her mouth while the dummy is in there, so it's actually much more hygienic.

Saša