Considering giving up breastfeeding for my own physical/emotional health

[AnyDream]

Sweetie - big big You sound so distressed. I had a small brush with incontinence while I was having chemo and it was very distressing & nowhere as severe as yours so my heart really goes out to you. :hugs:

First of all - DON'T WAIT. Ring the specialist physio back, explain that it's a severe incontinence issue and not a slight one - and ask to be placed on their cancellation list or speak to the physio directly. They may be able to squeeze you in earlier because of the severity.

Secondly - I'm sure the physio you saw meant to reassure you about it getting better over a period of time but that is not IMO an excuse not to treat this as proactively as possible. As Blu-K said, there are some medications that might help (Ditropan - sorted mine out completely) which is worth discussing with your GP, but at the very least you should be consulting with an incontinence nurse who will help you with some exercises as well as coping strategies. Underlined because you are doing an admirable job of getting on with things but it does sound like you feel like you're not coping.

BTW they have all sorts of gadgets to help, my friend had this thing she sat on which (??? not sure how it worked) but it re-taught everything how to work properly.

BTW don't give up hope with the pelvic floor exercises - you *will* reap the benefit, but it tends to be more noticeable in hindsight, kwim? But to me it sounds like you need more help than "just" the exercises, so make sure you communicate how severely this is impacting your life so you get that help NOW.

[Curly]

Emma - FWIW I bet I know exactly which physio you are seeing in Malvern - just down the road from Cabrini hospital, Wattletree Road? They are FANTASTIC. (I'm ex-Melbourne).

I saw them for back pain when I was pregnant with DS and they come and visit all the new mums in Cabrini one-on-one to teach them how to do their pelvic floor exercises and a give them a general assessment of their condition after the birth and a program to follow at home. I had both DS and DD at Cabrini. They also come to the prenatal classes at Cabrini and teach the pregnant mums how to exercise their pelvic floors. I still have all their literature in my bedside drawer for reminding me how to do my exercises now.

I just want to second what Marydean said - ask to be put on the cancellation list. Ring them every couple of days. There are lots of physios there and you should be able to get in to see someone quicker than March. From memory I am sure they have a toilet in the reception area so don't worry about the drive, just take a change of undies with you and you can get changed there before the appointment. They might have more "heavy duty" incontinence pads at the chemist rather than the ones at the supermarket if you feel you need extra protection during a long drive.

Parking is fairly easy there, you should be able to park on Wattletree Road or just around the corner on a side street.

[AnyDream]

Hi Emma, Just popping in because I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are getting on! It's nearly early- march now - so I hope some relief is at hand

[Emma1979]

i've just checked and the physio is on malvern road, not wattle tree road, but their brochure states they specialise in continence and pelvic floor rehabilitation, so i'm hoping that they are good...
my appointment is next friday, so a week to go... then we have a week's holiday, then we are getting a pool put in at home when we get back, its my daughter's 3rd birthday, and we are also having some friends come down to visit, so i have a busy few weeks prior to my next appointment with the head of Uro-Gynae at Monash - which i am hanging out for, as i want to start talking about the what if's... as in what if this doesn't get better, etc, when can i schedule surgery...

i think i'll feel loads better after i have spoken to him (which is at end of march) as i will know where i stand, how long i wait to see if things improve with exercises etc, i will know how much longer i have to put up with it until i make some decisions...

i suppose i am learning to manage things better.... i am wearing bigger pads (i was wearing ridiculously thin ones then getting upset when they didn't work)... i don't drink if i am going out, and when i am at home in the evenings i drink like mad to hydrate myself.... i suppose its not too bad to live like this as a temporary measure, but no way in hell i'd like this to be permanent.... i just hate the feeling of the leaking, its so scary, as you never know how much is coming!!!

anyways i suppose i'm in a better head space about it.... i just hope i make it thru our holiday to qld... i can sit and be fine, and lie down and be fine, but as soon as i stand up and try to walk thats when i have issues.... and if i am on my feet walking etc i know i will also have issues, so walking around dreamworld could be a bit dicey...

on a separate issue, i'm still persevering with the breast feeding.... he is still fussy during the day and doesn't feed well, but feeds well at night, and is putting on good weight, so i am trying to relax knowing he is getting what he needs.... it still annoys me to no end when he won't feed properly during the day, especially if we happen to be going out (rarely!) because he will be unhappy while we are out.... anyways i've typed an essay so will stop now.... thanks everybody for your support, its nice to know i can come in here and update you and tell you how i am going with it all... hopefully soon i will have good news.

[onthefly]

Thanks for the update Emma - I've been thinking about you too and wondering how you've been getting on. I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit more positive. I really hope this physio can help you out and that you don't have to cope for much longer

All the best for your holiday - I hope you can find some way to enjoy yourself, I think you've really earned a treat!

[AnyDream]

Good to hear you feel like you're coping a bit better - and esp that you're planning life as normal - will help with the cabin-fever feeling.

BTW I did wonder (but forgot to ask) about the type of pads you were using - learnt the hard way that the light ones really *are* . There are quite industrial strength ones out there - worth it for peace of mind IMO.

ETA - and an especially big woohoo that you have managed to peservere with the breastfeeding - as the ad says "every month is a bonus"!

[MantaRay]

It's great to hear you sounding more positive. You are doing such a great job of coping with a very challenging situation, good on you hun. I hope you get some great answers and lots of hope from your appointment

[Curly]

i've just checked and the physio is on malvern road, not wattle tree road,

Just looked them up - it IS the same physio I went to, they've just moved premises, that's all. You'll be in good hands.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Hey babe, just found this thread
I automatically get my back up nowadays when I hear some condition or other blamed on breastfeeding, or when someone is told the condition will improve upon cessation of breastfeeding. I was told exactly this about SPD and it has no basis in fact, as I found out. Lucky for me, I was prepared to go on friggin crutches had the 'advice' been true, in order to breastfeed my baby! I went for a second opinion with an osteo and never looked back. Not that I thnk an Osteo is your ticket, but as an example of not taking that feeble "it must be the breastfeeding and the hormones thingy" line as gospel. I've decided that blaming breastfeeding is a caregiver's way of saying
On the OT, do you reckon there may be a relationship between how you feel during the day and how you feel about going out and your DS's fussiness at these times? I just have a theory I've developed from your posts that you feel more stressed during the day because of wanting to go out but anticipating the problems with the incontinence, and at night relieved that there is less need or expectation to leave the house. It's possible that DS is vibing off you and cluster feeds when your own stress hormones decrease at that end of the day. Just a theory that may help
There are so many things we have been conditioned to expect as part of bearing children because no-one has bothered to find solutions or even real explanations (after all, aren't there serious things like cancer to cure instead of 'womens business'?).
I'm glad you're still BFing - so often women listen to this initial, unqualified advice and see no improvement in their complaint and lose the BFing - double whammy.
I hope you get some real answers and support from your new caregivers!!

[Emma1979]

i now have a theory that perhaps he isn't feeding well due to being overtired, is this a possiblity? with our first born we always tried to follow the 'rules' about how long they should be awake for etc, not that it worked, but with him i only really bother to 'try' getting him to sleep if he seems to need it due to grizzling/crying etc.... he is often awake for several hours quite content in his little chair, or in his pram, or under the play gym, then when i think i'll feed him, he is all fussy and frantic and awful..... however he just had a sleep for an hour or so in his cot (after i rocked him and put him down asleep mind you) and when he woke up he fed quite well, and also during the night he feeds very well, after sleeping for 3 hours etc... so this is my new theory.... perhaps i need to be a bit more proactive in getting him to sleep during the day, which is hard with a 3 year old to run after.... he doesn't miraculously go to sleep by himself in the cot like other newborns do...

i did think maybe i am less stressed at night etc, but to be honest i'm quite relaxed during the day at home and still he hadn't been feeding well.... hmmm who knows...

also re: the breast feeding, i haven't actually been advised to stop, in fact quite the opposite, but it was just something i had read about lack of oestregen from breast feeding thinning the line of the vagina/urethra (which a lack of oestregen does) which can impact on incontinence, so in desperation i was considering giving up the breast feeding to see if it would make a difference, as the lining would then thicken and plumpen up a bit in the urethra which would help to stop leaks... however i really think my issue is beyond a bit of plumpening and don't think it would have any significant benefit at all... i have been taking oestregen pessaries which hasn't made any difference that i can notice...

so can anyone advise if an overtired baby would struggle to feed properly? he gets on and sucks then lifts his head up like he is looking around, then cracks it and repeats etc until i give up.

[MantaRay]

Emma, yes, an overtired baby can struggle to feed properly. Babies feed best when they are calm. Interestingly, babies can also feed during the light sleep cycle, so perhaps this is something else you could try during the day until he is feeding better again.

It does sound like he is missing his "sleep window" which makes it harder for them to fall asleep. At that age, 1 1/2 hours is probably the longest he can stay awake in one stretch without becoming overtired. Some mums find it helps to write down the time each time their baby wakes up, and make sure that he is fed and put back down before it reaches 1 1/2 hours past that time.

GL hun, you are doing really well - it is really tough with two young ones.

[bkl]

I am wondering how Emma went with her stress incontinence problem. I am experiencing the same problem with severe stress incontinence and I also had the catheter pop out with ballon still inflated during delivery and am thinking that this may be the cause. Emma, if you still visit this forum I would love to know how you got on. Thanks.