"Extended" Breastfeeding

[Starfish]

Just a bit of a vent.

As anyone who knows me knows, I always planned to breastfeed DD until she self-weaned. Most children, after all, self-wean between the ages of 2 and 5.

So, DD turned 5 2 weeks ago. She still feeds 2-3 times a week (usually in the middle of the night - we co-sleep). But, she sometimes still asks for it during the day. Not often, but sometimes she does ask. I always tell her no these days. I am over it. I don't mind it in bed, but I just don't want to do it anymore at any other time. She is mostly fine with this.

So, now comes the vent - people who say "Breastfeeding beyond 1 or 2 years is solely for the benefit of the mother." Are you friggin kidding me? I have pretty much been over breastfeeding for the last year, but I continue to do it for DD's sake (e.g. she rarely gets sick, but I notice that she gets better faster if I feed her, etc.I know that it is still good for her). For the mother indeed. Some people really have no clue...

[Heaven]

Yep, totally stupid. Like there's any way you could make a child BF.

[briggsy's girl]

yeah, it's all for the mum isn't it?? pfffft!


i'd prefer to have my body back and to be able to wear "real" bra again but i can't! i'd love to not have her demand boob when she is tired or when she wakes in the morning. i'd prefer to not have to run around like a chook with it's head cut off in the mornings cos she has wanted boob first thing and i've ended up with 15 minutes to shower/dress/eat/get out the door....


sigh - i would think it's very rarely about the wants of the mother - unless the want of the mother is to allow their child to wean at their own time in their own way!

totally hearing you hun - glad no one is brave enough to say anything like that to me - this mini rant is nothing on what i'd say to them!

[Lenny]

I don't get what the benefit for the mother is? No-one has ever said that to me, but if they did i would have to ask them to explain it further. What do they think the mother is doing it for? Breasfeeding's a pretty selfless thing isn't it?

[Jaycee]

I can relate, I only fed until DS1 was 2 and am still feeding DS2, but seriously, what benefit is it to us?

I'd love to wear a real bra, or not have to worry about what I'm wearing to work so it's easy to feed DS2 the minute I walk in the door, or not have him latched to my boobs pretty much the whole night long, the list goes on!

Don't get me wrong, I do love breastfeeding, most of the time, but if DS2 self-weaned now, I wouldn't be distraught!

[Calluna]

Yeah, I kind of wish Isaac had weaned a year ago, (kind of because I love the emotional side, and the cuddles, but adolfo feeling very toucher out and wouldn't mind a full nights sleep!)

Aside from the bonding time and a couple of health benifits, it really is all for him!

[Teeki]

Well, the day DD turned one she decided she didn't need to breastfeed anymore, and she wasn't into the whole 'extended' thing. But I thought "No! I'm going to keep going anyway, because I get so many benefits!"

I really like having keep half my work wardrobe aside instead of wearing the pretty shirts, because I can't get my boobs out of them.
I love not wearing supportive bras, feels great if I go for a jog!
I like that when we go out, I don't need to worry about wearing something sexy, I can just choose whatever gives DD easiest access.
DD decided she'd just put herself to sleep at night now, but I especially love sitting up in bed for an hour feeding her to sleep, so I make her do that instead.
When she's upset, hurt, frustrated or tired, I can't be bothered spending ages calming her down so I make her have a feed instead.

So yeah, she's really getting nothing from it since that one significant day that she turned 1, but I reckon I'll force her for a few more years yet!

*sarcasm over*

[Heaven]

rofl Kaytee.

Or maybe we're just doing it to reduce our chances if getting breast cancer? Selfish mothers that we are.

[Mum2twoBoys]

Totally agree Kaytee.

* I love having him scream at me, and I only get it out to shut him up.
* I love leaking through my tops, and waking up wet and cold.
* Definately love breast pads too.
* Love having no control over my own body.
* Love when I start getting a blocked duct, or close to mastitis.
* Love when he gets over excited and bites me. Or when my nipples are sore.

Honestly yes there are good things to it, ie cuddles etc. But we mostly do it to keep our children happy. We're mothers, so what else would you expect. That has to be the best thing about it.

Hugs StarFish, we understand.

[~ Mylitta ~]

I thought we only did it to make people who didn't do "extended" breastfeeding feel bad...

[Tegam]

I've been breast feeding someone now for 8yrs. I've been around a lot of breast feeding women of all shapes and sizes. Only once have I even been 'put off'. Not sure that's the right term but I'll explain later. I'm on my phone and I wanted to subscribe.

[onthefly]

Yeah, not terribly logical.

[Mum2twoBoys]

Where's the like button when you need it jellybean, lol.

Sent from HTC wildfire using TAPATALK, so forgive any spelling errors its a small keyboard.

[PumpkinZulu]

I actually felt really selfish* day weaning DS simply because every time I sat down he would demand a feed. I just couldn't do it any more. I needed a bit of space! He was fine with it he quickly learnt that boobies were for bedtime but I felt very mean.

*I don't think anyone is selfish for weaning, it's just how I felt for doing it after making the decision to let DS decide when he stops.

Same! It seems DD has weaned, and of I hadn't have become pregnant, this never would have happened at this stage of her life I do feel very guilty, because she wanted it and has persisted this whole pregnancy, even when there was literally one drop in each boob, she wanted not only the milk, but the comfort and security. BF in this pregnancy has been painful and unpleasant, but I still loved doing it for ed and mourn it now. Now my colostrum is in, she pushes me away, shakes her head etc. So she really has been forced in a way. I'm still offering often, and hopefully when my milk comes back in she may remember how to suck (if that's possible?) and enjoy BF again. But I totally get that feeling of being mean!

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

This is what parenting and building a family is made of. From the minute they are put into your arms it's a compromise. Its how life works. You are always pushed or pulled and through it all you try your best to meet your needs.....and meet your own needs. Generally the two are out of sinc with each other. If you cultivate feelings of guilt now - hang on to your hats you are in for a very bumpy parenting ride. As a parent SO MUCH is out of our control. In our society we have built a faint illusion that we are "in control" - we are not. Despite our best intentions things happen - a new pregnancy, an illness who knows. Life makes a sudden turn. but you need to weave it into the fabric of your life.
If your toddler and small child wants to feed (even your bigger kid - mine did) go for it. It's great. I breastfed for 17 straight years. A lot of the time I was "over it' in the same way I am over making school lunches every day - but it's just part of life. Its a short and special time in your lifespan. You don't have to love it all the time, but it's precious. And you do it for yourself and your child. And mothers who do this deserve a big CHEER - not snide remarks about doing it for themselves - so blow that off. People who say these things are profoundly ignorant and sadly refuse to be educated. Be confident in what you do and hang around with other like minded parents (ABA is a good starting point!)

[Jellyfish]

Going to keep breastfeeding forever so I can keep slim!

[Calluna]

I actually felt really selfish* day weaning DS simply because every time I sat down he would demand a feed. I just couldn't do it any more. I needed a bit of space! He was fine with it he quickly learnt that boobies were for bedtime but I felt very mean.

*I don't think anyone is selfish for weaning, it's just how I felt for doing it after making the decision to let DS decide when he stops.