Feeding all the time

[Renee_AW]

Our 6 week old son has had a number of days lately where he feeds all day. I have written down today's feeds and between 8:30am & 8:30pm he has fed 10 times and for a total of 5 1/2 hours. Between feeds he cries & needs to be held (about half an hour between feeds). If I put him down he cries. He is a baby that needs lots of cuddling & I tried a few different slings on the weekend hoping to atleast have some help here but I found them very uncomfortable so I hold him in my arms.

He sleeps well at night () but has slept only 20 mins today which was on my chest between one of the feeds. He rarely sleeps during the day despite best efforts but he doesn't usually feed so much & we normally have play time & story time but today he just cried.

I feel like each time he wants to feed there will not be enough milk. It is now 9pm and he fed from 8-8:30 and he is screaming to be fed again.



Is this normal? It seems extreme, I am exhausted & overwhelmed by the crying (it breaks my heart) and since he does not sleep during the day he must also be exhausted.

btw...he looks healthy, has moments of smiling & cooing, is a healthy weight & has lots of wet nappies.

[MantaRay]

Hun, the early days can be really tiring can't they What you are describing is totally normal. At that age it is common for babies to feed constantly in the late afternoon and evening. It seems to be their way of coping with the tiredness and winding down for the day, as well as stocking up on nutrition for the night. It does settle down after a while. Don't worry about your milk - plenty of wet nappies says it all - you have plenty. This is very, very normal.

Many mums find that it helps to grab a snack and some water and sit on the couch until the frenzy passes. This way they can rest and not worry about doing anything else during this time. If you can prepare dinner earlier, or have someone else cook for you, it makes a big difference. Hang in there hun, this too shall pass

[~clover~]

Sounds like he might be going through a growth spurt, which is very normal at 6 weeks
Have you tried lying down with him to sleep? On your bed maybe? I used to lay with DS & feed him to sleep, then I might be able to get up & leave him to sleep on my bed with the room darkened. That way he wasn't disturbed when I put him down.
It is very, very normal for bub's to BF every 2 hours during the day, esepcially those early days. I think when DS was 6 weeks it went up to every hour to an hour & a half, day & night. He did settle again after about a week though.
Its not easy, but you are doing the right thing. By the time he's settled back down again, your supply will have gone up a bit & every thing will go alot smoother

[onthefly]

Sounds very normal. don't worry about your supply - you'll have plenty I'm sure. He could be having a growth spurt, or just a spike in his unsettledness. DS was the same with the feeding (10 in the day is not extreme at all) and sleeping.
Which slings have you tried? Sometimes it can be hard to find the better ones irl. I recommend the Hug-a-bub - it's very comfortable.
How much help do you get from DH and others? It's very hard, I know, but sometimes the best thing to do is just whatever makes things easiest. Take whatever help you can get, find a comfortable sling/carrier, and just generally do whatever works for you and your baby.
Things will get easier in time.

[Renee_AW]

... At that age it is common for babies to feed constantly in the late afternoon and evening. It seems to be their way of coping with the tiredness and winding down for the day, as well as stocking up on nutrition for the night. It does settle down after a while. Don't worry about your milk - plenty of wet nappies says it all - you have plenty. This is very, very normal.:

Thanks MantaRay. I have read that this is normal in the afternoon but he is at it all day. I didn't have a break today (same last Thurs & Fri...weekend DH helps). I have trouble even getting something to eat or a drink, I have to put him down to do it and he cries when I put him down...I tried just on a blanket, his activity gym & a bouncer today & they all made him cry.

[BrightSparkles]

Miss S has been the same since she was born and I feel exactly the same as you do (overwhelmed etc). Sending you loads of Hope things settle for you soon. xxxx

[~clover~]

Its fine to leave him to cry for a few minutes if you need to hun. Don't feel too bad.
Have you tried pushing him around in the pram with you? Maybe the movement will help him settle long enough for you to eat at least.
Background noise can be suprisingly calming too. Having the TV or radio on. DS used to sleep so well when the vacuum was going!

[Renee_AW]

Which slings have you tried? Sometimes it can be hard to find the better ones irl. I recommend the Hug-a-bub - it's very comfortable.
How much help do you get from DH and others? :

I tried Hug-a-bub, Minimonkey & another one I can't remember the name. They just pulled on my shoulders and felt very uncomfortable.

DH is amazing but he has to go to work. We did a couples breastfeeding course before DS was born & the key thing DH took from the course is that it is my job to feed the baby & his job to do everything else & he pretty much does. If I wan't breakfast before he goes to work he makes it, if not he puts the bread in the toaster, the tea bag in the cup and a plate & knife on the bench. He makes food for the freezer for lunches & makes dinner most nights as I am feeding baby. He does all of the washing & takes care of the dog, the dishwasher, general tidying....he is awesome. Amidst this he finds time to take care of DS and stays up with him while he sleeps on his chest between his usual 9:30 feed and the midnight one so I can go to bed and get some sleep. Then he gets up & goes to work the next day. I am very lucky and so is DS!

[Renee_AW]

Have you tried pushing him around in the pram with you? Maybe the movement will help him settle long enough for you to eat at least.

I fed him this afternoon & put him in the pram, walked about 20 mins to the library....he was still awake & cried when I got there....we didn't get to look at any books. I didn't want to disturb other library users so walked around a bit more but he was still awake so we went home. About one hour in total & he didn't go to sleep. I cried all the way home from the library I was so desperate for him to go to sleep.

[BrightSparkles]

I fed him this afternoon & put him in the pram, walked about 20 mins to the library....he was still awake & cried when I got there....we didn't get to look at any books. I didn't want to disturb other library users so walked around a bit more but he was still awake so we went home. About one hour in total & he didn't go to sleep. I cried all the way home from the library I was so desperate for him to go to sleep.

Oh Babe. Do you have someone who can cuddle him for you for a while so you can have a shower or something???
I can empathise with your desperation. I found laying down to feed Miss S helped a little bit. I could get some rest while she fed to sleep and it meant I could get a little bit of rest too.

[onthefly]

So... your husband is a STAR Any family or friends that could give you some time out during the day? Even a few hours once a week can make an enormous difference.

The HAB really shouldn't pull on your shoulders - did you spread the fabric out really wide? I'll admit it does take some time to get the knack for putting it on - it's not for everyone. I think if your boy needs to be held all the time then some sort of sling/carrier is really your best bet. Have you posted in the baby wearing area for suggestions? My DS was like this till around 3-4 months - could not put him down at all. But he grew out of it. It seems impossible now, but your boy will change so quickly.

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. I know all these things are easy for me to say now, but I really can empathise - I remember what it was like (though my memories are somewhat dim and hazy due to the sleep deprivation).

[sloane]

it is tough & overwhelming at the start. but as the OP have said, the good news is that it does settle down! i found the first 12 weeks really full on but did notice a change in DS around the 10-12 week mark & he became more settled. i think i probably changed & settled a bit more into the role as well. he'll also become far more efficient at feeding & then even if he does feed every 2 hours (if you have a hungry bub like mine :lol), it's not a big deal because it takes no time at all.

hopefully he's just having a bit of a growth spurt & will settle down for you soon

your DH sounds amazing

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

the first 6 weeks are HARD going for any knew parents. It's just never what you thought it would be. I always tell parents their baby will feed at LEAST 8-12 times in 24 hours, but no-one really wants to believe it.
Now, can you tell us, does he have both sides? How long is he on each breast for? What have his weightgains been like? What about wet and dirty nappies? How many per day?
In regards to sleeping, babies go through natural sleep cycles just like we do. You will find with a young baby that if they have been awake for one and a half hours they really need to go to sleep (but they might not agree with me!) They are telling us what they want - but we don't necessarily share their language - it takes a while to get used to. So you might want to use the clock, a little, at the start. When he wakes up write down what the time will be in one and a half hours. NB - start this in the morning - everything works better in the morning. When the time nears watch what he is doing. Do you notice yawning? Eyerubbing or redness around the eyes? jerky movements? Staring at the ceiling? Crying or whinging? He's tired. Feed him again (often that will put them to sleep) and then rock or cuddle to sleep in your arms. A babysling is really fabulous. I recommend ABA's simplicity sling. It's inexpensive and use it high and tight around the waist. When it's on properly you should be able to just tilt your head slightly and kiss the top of the baby's head. Go for a quick walk while baby sleeps. You will notice that after around 20-40mins baby will stir. He is coming out of a deeper cycle of sleep into a lighter phase of sleep. In his bed he may fully wake up, but in a sling he will probably just stir and realising he is right there with you go back to sleep.
Have you joined the Australian Breastfeeding Association yet? They have get togethers for new mums. It is really important to get out with other people. Their get togethers are really relaxed and you can just come as you are - sleep deprived and all. We've all been there.
Good on your husband - he is fabulous. And it is vital for you to eat to keep your stregth and spirits up. And sleep when you can. Let us know how you go.

[squidipa]

Miss S has been the same since she was born and I feel exactly the same as you do (overwhelmed etc). Sending you loads of Hope things settle for you soon. xxxx

I agreee... yeah that

Chakotay is the same to between 12am and 7.30 he will have up to 10 feeds normally 7 feeds Just to give ya some kind of idea, he is feeds alot. Im trying to stretch out feeds. I found tho in the sling at shops he can cope with out the constant feeds tho.

[Loveinamist]

Hugs to you! My DS was exactly the same! My Close Parent sling was my saviour in those days. It is like a HAB or Moby but prewrapped IYKWIM. Making it easy to adjust and put on. I went out alot to my local children's centre as he slept in the carrier really well (well after about a five minute screaming session in it!!) Breastfeeding lying down was also a godsend and cosleeping. DH would also take him out in the sling for half an hour to an hour as he would sleep the whole time and I got a nap as well. I found things got much easier when he could start to amuse himself by being able to look around and look at the toys on his play gym etc. then even though he is still a rubbish day sleeper at least when he is playing I get some time to have a cup of tea, put a load of washing on, surf the net etc. Before then I was literally just feeding and sleeping with him on me or beside me. I learnt to ignore the stories of the incredible babies who self settle, sleep for hours on end and feed every three to four hours. The biggest favour I did myself was to stop looking at the clock. To this day I still feed alot. I tend to feed him whenever he cries and some days are what I call 'feedy' days and others not so much. I have no idea when he feeds and only just now at 5 months is he starting to show certain times when he is tired and will sleep. Anyway I learnt to go with the flow and eventually it got easier. Just the other day DH and I realised we got through a whole grocery shop without me carrying a screaming baby to the cafe to feed him halfway through!
You are doing a great job and this will pass!!


ETA - BTW my DS started to settle down at around 12 weeks. Some bubs do earlier though.....Good luck!!!