My now almost 7 month old is still feeding 3-4 hourly during the day and at an absolute minimum 6 times overnight. Normal is more like 8-10 times between 7pm and 7am with 45 odd minute feeds all night not being out of the question. I haven't weighed her since her 4 month CHN check but she's obviously healthy, alert, growing etc.
We've started solids and they're going ok, albeit slowly. I've tried so many times to give her a bottle so I can express and DH can give me a break but she just won't take one. She won't take milk from a cup or use a straw.
Her day feeds have been really distracted for ages now, but for the past week solid we have been home and I have been feeding her in either her room or mine with curtains drawn, absolutely no distractions etc so daylight hours have brought much better feeds, but if anything she is feeding even more frequently during the day and it hasn't had ANY positive impact on her night feeding at all. She is definitely feeding at night - I can hear her swallowing and as soon as she seems to finish I take her off. If she's not finished (or if she's wanting comfort) she'll attach right back on. If she continues to feed I'll leave her there to feed but if she is just grabbing hold then I'll take her off again.
Surely at her age she doesn't need all these feeds. What do I do? I use feeding as a way to settle her to sleep, but I'm trying to stop doing that so long as she's calm and happy. Should I try to hold out from feeding her during the night and accept that she's going to be seriously grumbly and I'm going to get even less sleep for a while? Please someone help. I can't keep doing this. I'm so far beyond exhausted and I have two other little girls to care for so it just can't all be about my baby. I'm doing stupid things and making stupid decisions. I've talked to my local CHN and let's just say that her ideas of parenting don't gel with mine. I've got an appt with my GP for her next week and this is on my list of things to discuss, but again I'm concerned I'm going to get the tough love line from her as well. I guess I'm at the point where I'm almost there with trying anything, but if there is something better for Lex I can do first, I'd rather try it.
I have been there with all my kids. With the lastest one I went to the Dr and I got the leave her to cry line, or to try a formula feed before bedtime.
We just kept on going. It is hard, I have been so tired it feels like every cell in my body aches and I have nearly lost my marriage this year largely because of the lack of sleep. I have only slept 3 hours straight a handful of times this whole year.
On the bright side, it is ever so slowly improving. I have been giving her a yoghurt before bedtime as well as a drink of milk. You could try those squeezy pouch puree's before bed. You can also try separating the feed and sleep, so feed her sleepy and then walk her around until she is asleep (she may protest). Now my DD2 is down to usually 2 wake ups which is miles better than 8-10ish.
You could try the Pantley pull off method which some people seem to have success with but didn't help with any of mine.
Otherwise I don't have much to offer because I have struggled with it myself three times over and still don't know how to get them to stay asleep. I hope that she improves at least enough for you to function xx
It is really tough, eh? Both mine have done it, and it is harder second time around with a bigger kid, 2 would be even harder.
Will she take any more feeds during the day? Will she cluster at night, and then give you a break at all?
Do you cosleep? It's not my preferred sleep method, but its the only way i have survived my two.
Just in the last month or so, DS has slowed down his night feeds (touch wood), but some nights are still just constant. I swap sides if he doesn't settle after i take him off after the swallowing has stopped. This sometimes gives me a bigger break til the next feed.
Can your partner help out at night? Even an hour break for you can make a difference, and dad and baby will work out their own settling techniques.
I know it's really tough, but mine bubs have all done the same thing too. We rode the wave and managed to come out the other side of the horrid hazy tiredness. I co slept with all of my bubs, so I could just sleep through the feeds, and maximise my sleep. Have you tried settling her without feeding, maybe every second feed. That is how I started with slowing mine down with night time feeds, though it was around 10ish months when I tried, which was when their day sleeps became heaps more settled. I was able to just put them off, pat their bottom, put a dummy in and they'd go back to sleep for a while, which started to help stretch out the times they woke for a feed. It took some time, but it happened eventually!
I'm sorry I have no other fabulous advice. Being so tired is horrible. I hope it improves soon!
Oh Lulu, sounds like you are struggling at the moment, you must be exhausted!
There's still a huge range of normal for babies even at 7 months - it could just be that she needs more feeds than others. Can you feed her more often during the day? 3-4 hourly isn't very often - could you increase that?
Is cosleeping an option at night? What about resettling without the boob?
thanks guys. Think I might go off and quietly slit my wrists now. Another 6 odd months of this is going to kill me.
I really don't think I can feed her more during the day. I'm already shoving a boob in her mouth far more often than she is wanting it. We co-sleep usually from around 10.30pm - I try to get at least an hour of sleep where I'm not shoved out one side of the bed but from then she's in bed with me all night. I'm trying to get as much as I can into her in the way of solids but she's not that interested at this point. Short of giving her cruskets one after another - the only thing other than icecream (yeah, I know. Don't say it) that she seems to actively really enjoy and seek out - I can't get anything bulky into her. She won't take a sippy cup (she's getting one thrown her way multiple times a day), wont take a bottle and won't use a straw. We have dinner around 6pm and as soon as that's finished she's basically on my boob until going to bed around 7/7.30 pm sometimes 8 if she's still interested in feeding.
ETA: sorry, that really reads badly and I don't mean to sound like an ungrateful spoilt brat. I'm just at a loss with what to do and I guess I was hoping for someone to come in with a match fix it. Really sorry for how it comes across, and I am very grateful for advice and support.
Artechim - what is the Pantley pull off method? I've googled but got weird thinks about undies and food storage coming up ;-)
Last edited by LuluHB; December 29th, 2012 at 09:41 AM.
You poor thing! I'm shattered all day when I'm up to feed twice in the night! I haven't been through this, but I have done a lot of reading, and it sounds like she's snacking, ie, having very small meals and therefore needing to eat frequently, and that she and you might benefit from larger meals, less often?
You say that you're 'already shoving a boob in her mouth far more often than she wants it'. When she cries during the day, do you presume it's from hunger and use the boob as your first option to help her? She will probably take it for comfort, regardless of what the need was - and it works - but if her need was for something else (wanting a change of scenery/activity, tiredness, uncomfortable due to wind, heat, cold, etc) then using the boob will just promote snacking. You might need to find other ways of comforting her or meeting her needs when she cries from something other than hunger, like changing her nappy, changing her position (put her down to play on the floor if you've been holding/babywearing, or pick her up if she's been down,) talking, singing, stroking, dancing, or even putting her to bed if she's tired. That will help her to go longer between meals, therefore eat more next time, therefore be happier to go longer before the next meal, etc. Hopefully doing that during the day will help also at night.
Re giving her a bottle (of your expressed milk), I've read that some babies won't take a bottle from their breastfeeding mum, but will from someone else - ie, why suck from the weird bottle when they know there's a lovely nipple right there??
Does she start the night in the cot? It might be worth getting DH to try to settle her, while you keep your distance, until a reasonable amount of time has passed since she last fed. Again, when she wakes, her need may not be hunger, it might be that she just needs reassurance/comfort/help going back to sleep. She's more likely to accept that help from her dad to start with, because she's so used to help from her mum coming in the form of a boob.
Again - I haven't been through this, but I hope that some of the ideas help - I think it's worth trying all sorts of strategies like these rather than just accept going on with that level of horriblle sleep deprivation.
It is brutally hard. It is, unfortunately, quite normal for many babies at this age. I know that doesn't make it any easier, but it will pass and you can get through it.
For my kids, I actually don't think it had anything to do with the amount of food I got into them. There was never any correlation between food intake and sleep. It's separation anxiety, or teething discomfort, or some other indiscernible thing that means feeding a minimum of 6 times over night is the *only* way for them to settle at all. Both my kids have done this. And both have stopped it when they were ready.
Again, for me, the only thing that helped was giving in and just getting rest when I could - bed-share all night, with sleep ins on the weekend, grandma breaks during the week, and so on.
What sort of symptoms did that manifest into MadB? Miss A has really bad wind, like REALLY bad, and I'm sure that's a lot of the time what is waking her. Given the intolerance issues with my first I've been on the look out for diet based problems, but other than the wind, she has nothing else even remotely resembling anything that would give me concern. She had among other things raspberries the other day and had a big reaction, and Traveller mentioned in another post of mine that salycilates in the berries could be the culprit.
symptoms for us were night wakings - both kids woke up a lot more when we challenged sals - and mood/behavioural issues, which may have at least partly been due to lack of sleep, I guess.
DD has major tanties if she has lots of sals.
My kids have all been in varying degrees really sensitive to sugar in my BM. Upset tummy and hard to get to nap being the symptoms. Maybe try sugar free for a few days to see if it helps? Probably won't help the sleep because that is now an association/habit, but may help with the wind.
Either or Or not at all, even.
I put it out there as it may have been a contributing factor for us. But to a certain extent I think young children just need us a lot at night.
Can you aim to feed her four hourly at night; so that's only one or two wake ups and in between roll her away from you and pull he back into you so she is warm and cuddly and then soothe her to sleep using rocking motions with your body.
I know with ds if he is feeding to sleep and I have had enough (ie he has swapped sides a few times) I can roll him over and get him to sleep like that...which means I can then use it in the night if he wakes under four hours.
Feeding all the time 24/7 - need advice pls
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