Congratulations on your little baby! Sorry to hear you had such a rough start - mastitis is truly awful.
Not breastfeeding doesn't make you less of a mother - but I can totally understand why you would feel disappointed. Sounds like maybe you're open to the idea of trying again...? Sometimes it can work that way - you take a break, heal and rest up and then things work better for you.
Maybe when you have a moment and are in the right head space, give the ABA a call - you could go along to your local group meeting and talk with a counsellor. Getting on to a good LC is also a great idea if you decide to give it another go.
All the best to you and your family