Feeling sad about being unsupported

[ElleJay]

I'm so very sorry Leasha

[Smoke Jaguar]

I'm in a similar situation with DS
DP was so fantastic in the early days and within the first two years and then little comments started to happen like 'just don't feed overnight', as if I could make that a reality all by myself (cos he wasn't that willing to put in the hours overnight to distract DS from me!), and as if it was just an element of my parenting that I could switch off.
When it comes down to it, if they're not the ones BFing they're not getting that hormonal exchange that tells you it's still 'right' to do it.
When DS says he wants Babu, DP will say he doesn't, or if I've heard him ask for it and I tell DP (as in, if he's asked me to do something else and hasn't heard the request) he'll say "he doesn't want it"...as if 'needing for survival' is important and 'needing for reassurance' is invalid for a nearly 4yo. I'd rather trust the kid - for whatever reason, he needs it. And we're going through some life changes ATM (moving house and have moved temporarily into MiL's), so if DS wants Babu, he's gonna get it.
The complicating factor here is that DS has been careless with his teeth - he rests them and leaves teeth marks that hurt, so then DP must think he's helping me when he tells DS not to have Babu or tells me to wean him So, I either vent and say that DS's teeth actually bring me to feel anger (and I would like to just talk through this feeling, rather than get stopped at the first sentence with "well, just wean him") or I sit on it and talk about it at the next opportunity with my booby friends (my mates who also happen to be in my local ABA group), and by the time that happens I'm ready to be jokey about it and am not in the headspace to have a mini-counselling/support session. The thing that sucks (pardon the pun) is that right at the moment we need to vent the only person around is that person who would rather see us wean and they exploit the opportunity to push their barrow, instead of backing us up and being our soft place to land
I'm not glad to know you're in a similar boat, but I hope you don't now feel like you're the only one who's found herself alone on the bandwagon

[Heaven]

Oh I'm sorry Leash Have you told Shel how it makes you feel? Does she understand she's upsetting you?

Maybe you should question her about why it is she thinks that all of a sudden Jazz doesn't need BM anymore when a month ago she did?

[Jennifer13]

My DP was never as directly unsupportive, but he did start to make comments about 'when do you think she'll wean?', etc, and that was enough!

I would point out the advantages of her continuing to bf. DD bf until almost four and it brought us huge advantages in terms of her not getting sick. She's the only child at preschool whose never seen the doctor for illness, ever. Her first day off for illness was two weeks after weaning - not a coincidence I don't think!

If Shel knows you are committed to following Jazz's need and value both what bfing gives her in terms of your bond with her and the physical benefits to Jazz, perhaps she will back off? I'd also explain that you find those comments really hurtful, since you're still adjusting to not caring for Jazz as much as you used to and being able to bf her when you come home makes you feel as though you are still important in her life.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Oh hun I know EXACTLY how u feel.. i was only able to put up with it till 6 weeks

Stand your ground babe xox

[Shades]

I'm sorry that you're feeling unsupported at home... Just keep reminding yourself that you have a whole community of people here that understand that you just want the best for your little Jazzy, and hope that Shell will get the message at some point soon that her comments are not going to have the effect she hoped, that they are simply hurtful.