DD2 now 10 months old, is a night feeder - every three hours at night. And I am OVER it. She isn't that interested during the day - too distractable by the world, and then has to make up for it at night. But how can I stop the night feeds without her screaming the house down and waking everyone (namely DD1) up in the process. The CHN told me to give her more during the day, but I have tried offering her the boob at every waking moment in an attemp to get her to have more during the day, but to no avail.
any ideas?
No help here. My DD was still waking multiple times a night at that age. Have you tried feeding in the dark on the bed during the day so that she will feed well? I've heard that protein at lunch can help with sleep, a friend claims it worked for her dd. Co sleeping? That way your not up 3 times a night, you can just give her the boob and go back to sleep. Try Elizabeth pantleys no cry sleep solution.
I'm no expert as I've never been in that situation, but the only thing I can suggest is persisting in getting more in during the day....whether its bf or food....maybe try small steps of adding one feed during the day and dropping one at night....will DD settle for someone else at night without the feed? If you could somehow try to keep her calm or sleeping for a bit longer when she wants the first you might be able to kind of merge the first two??? I don't know....like I said, I've never been in this situation.
At 10 months, it is still completely normal for babies to feed at night, so if you are happy to cosleep or even room share, you may be able to keep feeding and get some sleep too. Have you tried giving her a dream feed last thing before you go to bed yourself? If she takes both breasts at this time, she may be satisfied until early in the morning, or at the very least wake less, e.g. Once per night vs three times.
No advice of what will work because I could have written your post - in fact I have written your post!! My 10 month old is doing exactly the same thing. I love the suggestions by CHNs of feeding them more during the day. Like you wouldn't have already tried that! So hard when you have an active and alert LO who is far more interested in the world around them to bother with silly things like daytime feeds.
All the advice I have been given (and which so far with the exception of #6 has not worked for us) is:
1. Feed more during the day
2. DROP the dreamfeed if you are giving one because you are potentially perpetuating the cycle of short time periods between feeds
3. GIVE a dreamfeed if you aren't giving one (yeah, typical right. Whatever you're doing is wrong basically ;-)
4. Offer water instead of the breast
5. Have your partner try to settle her instead of you
6. Set up a mattress on the floor next to her cot so that when she wakes during the night you try to soothe her from your position on the floor without actually picking her up. Be prepared for lots of crying to begin with.
I've tried most of these things and am up to No. 6. Just waiting for the current round of teething, yesterday's vaxx and my other two daughters' school holidays to all be done with so hopefully we're starting without too many things against us.
Ok, don't shoot me co-sleeping 'it's normal', it'll pass proponents. I am all for the most gentle, respectful approach and happily co-slept, fed/rocked to sleep and fed frequently over night well beyond 12 months for my first. But I could catch up on sleep during the day and was generally happy and thriving.
Number two did the same thing you're describing and mentally I wasn't coping. I was loathe to push him too hard, being still so little but also acutely aware that both he and his sister were copping a different kind of emotional fallout - short-tempered, lethargic, demoralized, depressed Mummy day-in, day-out and I knew something had to give. Although he reccomends not doing it before 12 months and ideally later than this, I did a loose version of the Jay Gordon night weaning method (can be found through google) with DS at 10.5 months. I had DH on-side and we literally rotated through the difficult bits to support eachother and it was still pretty awful for the first two nights. But I felt ok in the knowledge that whilst DS was pretty upset that I was refusing him a feed, he was always in my arms, in my bed or with me or DH available to him (at times he shunned our cuddles but we kept reminding him that we were here and he could have a cuddle if he needed). I only weaned for a 5 hr stretch - I determined that I would not feed between 11 and 4 and would give a 10.30 dream feed and an early morning doze-feed willingly. By day 3 he was waking, asking, having a quick cross wail about it but then going back to sleep and I think by about day 6 he was rarely waking between 11 and 4. By 11.5 months he was habitually waking at 5.30, super hungry and keen for a feed and I found that if I made sure he had a good feed then he would then go back into a good solid sleep and sleep until 8. Ahhhhh!
I really battled with deciding to do this as it's 'tougher' and less respectful than I hold to be ideal... but I also knew we had reached the point where my mental state was also causing stress to both children and decided to try it for a week and then give it away if it was too tough for either of us. As it was, it worked well.
I guess it's worth qualifying that DS was a TANK, had heaps of feeds and solids through the day and I knew that he was getting enough nutrition to go without the feeds he was demanding overnight.
Sending you love, luck and sleepy vibes. Sleep deprivation SUCKS.
Is it possible to for you to do a block of feeding before bed? With DS3 we sit and feed for an hr before bed. It's not for everyone, but we get 6hrs before the next feed.
Also my DD used to feed every 3 hrs round the clock until 12 months.
We do room share - all of us, and do half co-sleep. Not something I try to do, but more like I bring her to bed to feed her and am then too tired to put her back or fall asleep feeding - one big problem I know that when I get so tired, she falls asleep nipple in mouth and I only notice when I go to roll over about 2 hours later (shakes head).
And because of DD1 I dont get the option of catching up on sleep during the day like I did when DD1 was a bub.
I had been trying to get lots more feeds during the day - basically offering every 1 - 1/2 hours depending on what else was going on in the house / with DD1, but she really hasn't seemed interested. And I do try and feed "away" from activity when I can.
In my "I'm getting to be really cranky and beyond it" state yesterday, I gave her a bottle of EBM and because I don't have a huge stash, mixed it with some regular milk - I know that with DD1 I was told not till 12 months, but I figure she is already having it on her wheetbix in the morning without incident anyway. And over the course of the day she drank 100 ml in addition to her normal BF. Perhaps she really was hungry? Surprised me though, because she eats HEAPS - as much as or sometimes more than her 2yo sister!
I hadn't been giving dream feeds - basically becasue I figured that she would be away in an hour or two anyway. But last night I planned to give her a dream feed just before I went to bed, but she woke up anyway, so had an awake feed (and of course didn't want to go back to sleep!), and then I got DH to put her to bed - which did work amazingly.
She did wake around 3 hours later but resettled for about an hour when I gave in - too tired to argue.
Santosha - 11-4. Yep, aiming for that, really going to try and work towards that - like your strategy. And I really appreciated your comment: QUOTE: I really battled with deciding to do this as it's 'tougher' and less respectful than I hold to be ideal... but I also knew we had reached the point where my mental state was also causing stress to both children
as this is too what I am struggling with. But I realised that I am becoming a bit too cranky for my liking, and I don't want to be taking it out on DD1 (who is now entering the age of defiance and boundary testing - a whole other story) either.
Lulu -
loved thses bits:
QUOTE: I love the suggestions by CHNs of feeding them more during the day. Like you wouldn't have already tried that!
that and the "Drop the dreamfeed - give a dream feed" comment too!
So, just struggling with one other thing...
Not quite sure how I feel about giving her the bottle. Yes I am, I feel a bit like a failure.
My plan with DD1 was to BF to 18 months, we didn't quite get that far, got to 15 months, she was only on one or two BF a day, and at that point I was pg with DD2 and my milk really did just seem to stop with the pg, so I didn't feel too bad about stopping.
In the beginning, with DD2 my plan was to BF to 18 months again, but I have always felt like she would wean early - from her direction, not mine, because she is just so uninterested in it (unless for comfort I am sure). I jokingly said once that she will have weaned before she is 1, and I am just forcing her to take it, but after giving her the bottle and regular milk too, I feel like I am probably going down that path. *sigh*
The "do I bottle or don't I' is hard isn't it. I'm having the same issues here. I desperately want to keep feeding, but I desperately want some sleep and to not be this horrible grumpy, sleep deprived person anymore. Hopefully both our girls will develop a sudden love of night sleeping ;-)
Milly, we have pretty much done what Santosha did, not giving a feed until after 4 but ALWAYS being there to give cuddles and it actually was not that painful. The big thing we found by doing this was that she wasn't getting the majority of her calories during the night like she had been and ended up starting to feed way way better during the day as a result. Previously, we had tried tanking her up during the day in hope if decreasing night feeds but she wasn't interested as she knew she'd get it at night and it wasn't until we took away most if the night feeds that day feeds improved itms.
hi ladies,
so last night I gave her a dream feed - well tried to. She seemed to comfort suck rather than feed for most of it, and then did wake up about an hour later with wind, but I was able to resettle her. She did wake up again around 1.30 for her feed but I held brought her back to our bed and held her and she soon dozed off to sleep and actually slept quite well. She loves cuddles - shame I can't sleep like that LOL! She woke again a little after 4.00, but I decided I was going to push it out to 5.00 as our day starts with that first feed and I wasn't ready to face the day (I don't sleep well when we co-sleep, I much prefer her just near me rather than in bed with me). She did go back to sleep, after much protesting, but DD1 was up anyway (had wet the bed). I am hoping today we will get more BF in, but she doesn't seem to have missed the night feeds - maybe it was all comfort and she is weaning??
hi ladies,
so last night I gave her a dream feed - well tried to. She seemed to comfort suck rather than feed for most of it, and then did wake up about an hour later with wind, but I was able to resettle her. She did wake up again around 1.30 for her feed but I held brought her back to our bed and held her and she soon dozed off to sleep and actually slept quite well. She loves cuddles - shame I can't sleep like that LOL! She woke again a little after 4.00, but I decided I was going to push it out to 5.00 as our day starts with that first feed and I wasn't ready to face the day (I don't sleep well when we co-sleep, I much prefer her just near me rather than in bed with me). She did go back to sleep, after much protesting, but DD1 was up anyway (had wet the bed). I am hoping today we will get more BF in, but she doesn't seem to have missed the night feeds - maybe it was all comfort and she is weaning??
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
how can I drop some night feeds?
Hopefully she is more interested today as she didn't eat so much during the night. If so, let us know how tonight goes.
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