Help! Feel like giving up

[Swoop]

Hi cass,

Firstly, well done for getting this far when it probably feels like you have lots of obstacles in the way right now. You are doing a great job! Getting to grips with breastfeeding can be very difficult for a first time mum, and you probably weren't expecting it to be this hard, and if you haven't been talking to any other first time mums you may feel like you're the only one with these problems. Please be reassured that you're not alone by any means, and also that with a little help it does get much easier. I struggled with bf for 8 weeks, but now (DD is nearly 6 months), after some help from those in the know, it is second nature to me.

I would definitely advise getting some help - it sounds like you could benefit from some help with attachment which would solve a lot of your problems. Check what resources are available to you - I went to several classes offered by my ECC, went to a breastfeeding support class back at the hospital where I gave birth, and saw 2 private lactation consultants, and out of all of those the only one I didn't get great help from was one of the lc's.

It's definitely not too late... I think you just need to get an expert to watch what you're doing and help you make some adjustments.

I was the same with expressing - it always took at least 2 sessions to get enough milk for one feed... let down can be much more difficult when you express and a machine is never as efficient as your lo at extracting the milk from the breast. As others have suggested, give the ABA a call as they will be able to offer advice to help with this too.

HTH... and remember you're not alone, and you're doing a fantastic job already

[Barb Glare]

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. The first weeks with a new baby - recovering from the cesarean and getting breastfeeding established can make you feel like you are living in a pressure cooker. The good news is that nearly every problem can be solved, and despite all this you can go on to breastfeed just fine.
The use of a nippleshield was appropriate in the circumstance and at least allowed your baby to feed at the breast. So don't worry about that just now. You will get rid of that soon, but it's not your highest priority.
Getting a lactation consultant would be a very worthwhile investment in your future breastfeeding success. An LC will generally come to your home and spend quite a lot of time taking a history, observing what is happening and will make a plan for you and your baby, and then provide follow up support.
Joining the Australian Breastfeeding Association and utilising their helpline service is also another bery worthwhile thing. That support of a friendly, understanding and knowledgeable voice on the other end of the phone can really help you get through when the going is tough.
Most mothers are not prepared for the demands a baby makes. It is really normal for babies to feed 8-12 times in 24 hours. And feeds of up to 30mins per side are quite common. Are you still supplementing your baby with formula now? How much?
Many mothers find it helps to wake their baby for a feed every 3 hours. After 20mins or so on one side you will probably notice that your baby is snoozing more than feeding. If he hasn't come off by himself, gently detach him by breaking the seal with a clean finger in his mouth. He will probably make a desperate grab for the breast as though to say "no mum, I'm not finished" but take him off anyway! Give him a burp and a nappy change and offer the other breast. After 20 mins, take him off. Hold him against your chest and cuddle him, rock him or walk him to sleep. There are other ways to get a baby to sleep apart from just feeding him to sleep.
Don't hesitate to get back to us for some more information and support if you need it

[cass51824]

Thank you for all your lovely advice, I am going to try and keep persisting!!

[Arcadia]

you're doing a great job! And we're all here to help whenever you need.

Just about every new mum has some sort of breastfeeding issue. Its ok to be on your L plates, and before you know it, you will be offering advice to other new mums!

Let us know how you get on.

Oh and the ABA helpline is for everyone 1800 mum2mum. They're so nice and call anytime. They're used to tears and uncertainty and screaming babies in the background. I called a lot in the beginning.

GL with it!

[Jennifer13]

I just wanted to wish you all the best as you are trying so hard to make this work. Bfing is a learned skill, so it takes time to get it right. Not only have you never bf before, but neither has your baby.

You will get there, with the right advice and support. Good on you for continuing despite your initial obstacles. Set yourself a short term goal (ie making it to four weeks, then five, and so on) after you get some help and be proud of yourself for what you've accomplished.

GL, hun!

[sloane]

Oh and the ABA helpline is for everyone 1800 mum2mum. They're so nice and call anytime. They're used to tears and uncertainty and screaming babies in the background. I called a lot in the beginning.

:yeahthat:

i called them in tears when DS was about 5 or 6 days old. the counsellor was so calming & i could feel her support & empathy. sounds weird but i really felt like she understood the depths of my despair & frustration. i thought she might be a bit fanatical about BFing & make me feel bad that i'd done the emergency run to the chemist for formula but she didn't at all & she told me just to take it one feed at a time.

we supplemented with some formula in the first couple of weeks & managed to slowly stop the formula & get DS on the breast full time so it definitely isn't too late for you - and we're still going now so it didn't harm my supply or BFing relationship.

the pain does subside after a while as well - one day you just realise it doesn't hurt anymore, esp as they get more efficient & don't need to stay on for as long.

it is so tough at the start & you're doing a fab job to hang in there. let us know how you get on