Thanks for your advice everyone, much appreciated.

We are going to try dropping the morning feed tomorrow, with DH getting DS up, dressed and breakfasted without me around so I'm not a reminder. I hope once he sees food, he'll be happy and forget all about me! Then, next weekend or so, we can work on the evening feed, maybe by replacing it with a half cup of milk (and DH has just started getting DS to help feed the fish at bfing time, telling him it's a special thing that only 'big boys who don't need mummy's milk get to do'!).