Oh hun it sounds like you have been put through the wringer!
My advice is less bf related and more personal, I don't want to offend so please don't take it that way.
Firstly give yourself a break. You are doing EVERYTHING humanly possible to feed your little girl. It's just not happening easily for you, not cos you're not putting your heart and soul into it.
Secondly don't worry about DS he will be fine. NO child has suffered any damage from mum having another bub to focus on and in the long run a sibling is an awesome gift to give to your son.
Lastly and I say this really from the heart - it is OK to bottle feed. I know you don't want to "give up" and I truly understand your pain but sometimes the emotional and physical costs just outweigh the benefits. That is an incredibly personal choice that only you can make.
So have you tried motulum? Could you try just soley bf just for a day? I know C sect does take a while for milk but I would have thought it would be in by now. Also maybe consider some counselling or chat with a trusted friend. This is not an easy thing to go through and you sound like you need some support.
That's all I can say hun. Big Big hugs to you and I hope you gain some peace soon.
I'm not sure you want to comp every feed - you may have better success putting her to the breast at least every two hours in the day and three hours over night, and only comping every second or third feed. And try giving her "three sides" (5 minutes on boob 1, 20 on boob 2 and then back to boob 1) - so she gets more initial letdowns and may get more out.
I think that you might also want to consider a supply line - so that your little one has to "breastfeed" to get her formula too.
Others have recommended "The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk by Diana West, IBCLC, and Lisa Marasco, MA, IBCLC" - it is worth a look.
Finally, just because she is grumpy and settles when given a bottle doesn't necessarily mean that she is starving - you need to consider wees (lots) and poohs (at least one a day) and growth (some is needed) too.
My milk came on at day 4 after my CS. The more bub is attached to you the more milk you will make - give feeding lying down a go too, because that way you can read a story to your DS while feeding your littlie!
Would a supply line be an option? It cuts out the need to express. You fill it with formula or EBM, hang the bottle around your neck, attach the lines to your nipple and baby sucks on your nipple taking milk from you AND milk from the bottle at the same time. So that should stimulate you the same as expressing. Plus you can see how much she's taking from the bottle.
All sounds very fiddly, I know, but once you get the hang of it, it's good. I'm the most unco person ever and I got pretty good with it!
I found motillium worked wonders for me with DS2 in conjunction with baby on breast and expressing as well, i still had to comp feed once of twice a day but majority of my day was just bfeeding and i was happy with that.
Really good advice above. Using a supply line (lactaid/SNS) is a really great idea. This would really help with the nipple confusion, but stop the feeling you were making her go hungry.
It's so hard because it's such a slipperly slope. If you think of it that every bit of formula she drinks is a signal your body is not getting to make more milk, so that vicious cycle of low supply starts. Plus every bottle feed she has adds to nipple confusion and her learning bottles are easy so more likely to start refusing the breast.
Supply line feeding would cut both those problems right down, she would stimulate your supply the whole time she was drinking formula, because she could get it while sucking at the nipple still, thus increasing your supply each time, and (hopefully!) lessening the amount of formula day by day.
I'd definitely look at getting onto motilium too. As well as resting heaps, drinking well, get someone to bake you up lactation cookies and eat loads, eat up on porridge and nuts and look into fennugreek and other supplements that help supply.
I wouldn't ever express for 120min either. Won't do as much for your supply as shorter, but more frequent expressing would, and sooo tiring for poor you. Don't be too disheartened by the amount either, it's not neccessarily a reflection of what she gets.
Also - get skin to skin with your bubba! As often as you can. This is great for your supply and getting past any frustration and nipple confusion etc.
my milk didnt come in until day 7! so i know what your feeling, i too had a c section, my son ended up on mainly formula as he lost half a kilo in the first week and i was threatened with him having to go to hospital again if he didnt gain any, i did express alot and I too didnt get much supply, I do wish I had pressed on though, please dont give up!
Hi,
It can be such a confusing time around the birth and early breastfeeding of a new baby. And hard when you so badly want to breastfeed, but the fears and difficulties of your previous experience kee[ replaying in your head.
there's quite a nice design going with new babies. Colostrum IS small in quantitiy - about 5-7mls per feed in the first day. But babies come pre-prepared with their own stores of brown fat to get them through the first days until your milk comes in and if she was a big baby she would have had plenty to get her through. But, babies are hardwired to suck. By sucking early and often they ensure their and their mother's survival - the sucking contracts your uterus down and prevents bleeding. They know how to get your milk to come in - feed all the time. she was doing exactly what she was designed to do - feed long and often. Here is a great article on The Second Night with your baby kellymom.com :: Baby's Second Night by Jan Barger RN, MA, IBCLC
Babies feed 813 or more times in 24 hours - that's completely normal. Did you have your baby weighed? You would have expected her to lose about 10% of her birthweight and not regain it necessarily until 2 weeks of age. In the first 4 weeks bvabies need about 150mls per kg of bodyweight per 24 hours, so if she is feeding 8 times a day, then she would get 75mls per feed. Like most of us, she might take more (like me when presented with a bit of chocolate cake) but she won't need more. If you are getting 50 mls out with the pump after breastfeeding - that;s heaps! And btw - what you can get out with the pump - especially when you are on your Lplates, tired and stressed tells you NOTHING about how much milk you are makeing (but possibly a lot about how stressed you are and how good your pump is) You generally getting the biggest quantitiy of milk in the first 10 mins or so after your milk lets down. Expressing for 2 hours is not productive - just stressful, painful and discouraging. You are certainly not starving your baby, and you are probably doing a whle lot better than you know you are doing
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