I am giving up on breastfeeding, I need a listening ear to close the episode.

[Muppity]

Oh sweetheart big hugs to you

I too know exactly how you feel.

I cried for days when I finally stopped trying as well (about 3 weeks, but realistically I know that my milk never came in - sounds just like you)

[Charlotte91]

I cried for weeks after not being able to feed DD.
But, she has done well on formula and it's so nice having DH and others be able to help out.

xox

[Phteven]

I hope you enjoyed that coffee. You've certainly earnt it. I could never give up coffee
Have you tried calling the ABA help line and talking to a counselor? They can help you to give it one last try before you give up forever and if you're just not up for one last try they can give you the right advice to make sure that the transition off the breast is smooth and you don't end up with dreadful engorgement.
I hope you don't mind me saying, that reading your story, it seems that you have done everything you can but you have been let down by lack of support.

National Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 mum 2 mum (1800 686 268)

[onthefly]

au0, you've had a really rough start with your baby and you've worked so very hard to feed him. I'm sorry things haven't worked out for you this time - I can see this was important to you from all the preparation you've done and work you've put into it. You have breastfed - maybe not as much or as long you you intended - but I hope you can feel good about what you have done. Every drop is important and worthwhile. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, circumstances around us mean we can't achieve what we set out to.
If you want to give the ABA helpline a call, or even drop in to a local group meeting, one of the breastfeeding counsellors will be able to talk you through your experiences and help you with the debriefing and grieving process. Some mums find that helpful.
From a practical perspective, I will echo Onyx's suggestion to stop slowly, to reduce the likelihood of painful blockages.