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Thread: I'm so stupid!

  1. #1

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    Default I'm so stupid!

    So its been 6 days since DD was born and my milk has now come in abundance. I met with my MW today and learned I should have been draining each breast at a time, but I have been doing one breast for some (indiscrimatate) time then rub her back for wind and then changing the breast leaving milk in the previous breast. I had thought I should be using both breast per feed like I see women do with older babies. I also have been giving her small comfort feeds if she gets upset at being put down which helps her drop off to sleep. Sometimes though if I've left it some time she continues to want to drink and hence stimulating more milk production.

    Hence now my breasts have heaps of milk and a baby that can't drink it all. I've got hard lumps on the fuller one and I'm worried what that may mean.



    Feeling a bit stressed about it. How can I better control my milk production now I've created this problem?

  2. #2

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    I don't know anything about breastfeeding darl, but I wanted to say - you are NOT stupid!! Don't even let yourself start thinking that because its simply not true. Its not exactly something we can be taught in school

  3. #3

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    You're not stupid! Boobs just do this anyway - they tend to make enough for two at the start and it's driven by hormones, rather than demand at the beginning too. So you didn't create any problem.
    It is best to drain each breast to give them an idea of demand, so when the hormones settle a bit, so will your supply. But lumps are very common in the early days during this adjustment phase.
    Feed on one side till it seems empty. Watch the other for lumps and if you need to, express *just* enough for comfort or to remove lumps, no more.
    Always remember the ABA helpline available 24/7 for any questions or advice. They can also help you with suggestions for managing initial oversupply.

  4. #4

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    I found to get rid of the lumps, massage in the shower under hot water. That worked for me and the comfort was great too.

    As far as what you "should" be doing, I tried desperately to follow the nurse's instructions, but it just didn't work for me. DD would stop feeding if I took her off and wouldn't go to the next, meaning she was hungry again after two hours. Once I started to leave her alone, we'd go over four hours between feeds because she got her fill. I'd just write myself a note as to which side I used, and made sure I used the other side on the next feed. My milk supply adjusted to that. Good luck, there is no right or wrong here in my opinion. You are certainly not stupid!

  5. #5

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    Don't worry, you are not at all stupid and many women feed this way. It's great you have a good supply, and most women will have more milk than their baby needs at this point as their body, and baby, get used to how much is required. Your supply will settle down soon. Draining the first breast in a feed, and offering the 2nd only if bub wants more, is the way I was told to do it. Then starting with the 2nd breast at the next feed. This should make sure you don't get any more lumps. You can do this from now, and your breasts, and supply, will respond and settle down.

    If you feel any lumps in your breast try to massage them as you are feeding to ensure the milk drains, or if this is too fiddly then massage them in the shower and express off a little milk this way. Try not to express too much though as this will increase your supply.

  6. #6

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    Firstly big hugs hun you are doing a great job, you haven't done anything wrong, it takes a while to get the hang of BF'ing and for each person it is different.

    What I would do is feed her from one breast, burp her and re offer her that same breast again until it is drained and then offer the second breast. Then for the next Feed offer her the breast that she finished off on for the previous feed , and repeat the process, so for each feed you start with offering the opposite breast.

    What is also useful is wher you have the lumps and are feeding off that breast, gently massage the lumps while you are feeding to try and relieve them, it may even be worth trying no only the "normal" positiong for feeding but try and switch to the football hold (so bub is under your arm, so that she is able to fully drain the breast. If you need to you can express after the feed, even just a small amount of hand expressing afterwards, jsut enough to eliviate the discomfort.

    At this stage your breasts are adjusting to the supply and demand, and your milk supply can be quite copious, but it will settle in time, it may take a few weeks, but it will get there and by no means has anything that you have done to date caused this fluctuation in supply it is completely normal.

    Take care hun and you are doing a fabulous job xxoo

  7. #7

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    you are not stupid, and you did not 'create this problem'.
    Feed her next time on the full side, massaging the lumps as you go (if you can), and try to drain it. Sometimes they don't. My DS couldn't drain a boob for some time - maybe 2 months or more. I know it's hard to remember which side yo fed off last when you are so tired your brain is mush but I try to feed off the fullest side first, so if she only had one side feed off them alternativley but if she's managing to drain one and have a bit of the second, start with the second one first on the next feed - eg if DS finished on the left (so had had the full right and then finished on the left) then the next feed I feed from the left first. When they were new I found putting a hairband around my wrist on the last side helped me to remember.

    As for the comfort feeds - that's exactly what they're for! Your doing wonderfully!

  8. #8

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    Dusty, you're not stupid!! Stop talking like that right now!! Your BBs are doing what anyone's do with a 6 day old baby no matter how you feed her! And for the record, I have fed all three of my babies from birth exactly as you described and we had no problems. I was told to offer one side and when it seemed empty (bub would pull off), offer bub the other side. Then start the next feed on the side we finished on last time.

    It will take a few weeks for your supply to settle down a bit, but please know you haven't done anything to create your big supply. It's like our bodies overcompensate in the beginning until they work out how much our bub needs. So don't be worried if you're walking around with leaking watermelons atm hahaha!

    I want you to just relax and go with the flow right now, things will all settle down soon. You sound like you are doing wonderfully .

  9. #9

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    Oh my goodness Dusty - as the other girls have said you are NOT stupid. Bubby is 6 days old, your milk is coming in and you are both learning how to adjust to all these changes. I had a great supply with both my kids and found that after about 2 weeks they would only feed one side. I always still offered both sides but I had to ensure that side was drained. If you are feeding bubby and she is pulling off then wind her and change sides like you have been doing. I found my bb's felt lumpy early on because I did have a great supply and they were rock hard in between feeds and also because they only fed one side. Just make sure you are draining each breast per feed and you are alternating breasts. Sounds like you are doing a fabulous job.

  10. #10

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    Jeeze Dusty, go easy on yourself! I fed my three exactly the same way you did. I didn't want to drain one all the way then risk her filling up and having a boob explode an hour later. I feed from each boob for the same length of time. I stuck a hairclip on the side she already fed from in case I forgot.

    My BB's got lumpy/scary looking too, so I massaged them in a shower a little.

    Keep doing what you are doing and let your boobs work out how much they need to produce.xoxoxo

  11. #11

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    Thanks everyone your replies are just what I needed (that an a stiff G&T but not on the menu today), hormones are raging and my world has focused down to this one little person and I don't want to stuff it for her and get her upset cause mummy didn't do it right. I never thought to ask how to manage feeds from each breast and wanted to do this as intuitively as possible.

    You have given me comfort in a panic moment

  12. #12

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    Oh hun, ditto to what the others have said, you are not stupid at all. What you are doing is how our parents/grandparents fed us. Take on the suggestions from the other girls, and you'll be fine.

  13. #13

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    In the first few days i had a massive lump too, nurses told me to gently massage it when she feeds and also in the shower under the warm water. I feed L when she wants it too

    Dont stress lovey! xo

  14. #14

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    You know you're going to be inundated with replies if you title a thread like this
    You're doing well. You'll figure things out as you go along and you'll find your own way of doing things that work best for you and your baby. You cannot stuff it up, only learn more. Following your intuition is an excellent start.

  15. #15

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    sounds like you've already had some awesome advice but couldn't not pop in to say you are not stupid!! all the preparation in the world still doesn't completely prepare you for what it's like with a NB & BFing i reckon was one of the toughest things at the start. but it does get easier & you'll be feeling like an old hand within no time at all!


  16. #16

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    Hey Dusty!
    You're not stupid!! We do the best that we can in the beginning for all of the reasons you said - you don't want to upset little one and want to do things intuitively. You're doing a fabulous job!

    Sue xxx

  17. #17

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    To start as the others have said, You're not stupid!!! Everyone gets lumps to start with!
    I listened to the MW with DD#1 and only fed her 1 boob per feed, against what my mother was telling me (who BF twins then me).... Got to about day 7 then T was very unsettled, got worse and worse, she didn't sleep a couple of nights... My mum was telling to give her the other boob but I kept telling her things have changed in the 20 years she hadn't been feeding for! Day 14 came aroun and it was time for the comm nurse to visit.... I had been starving my poor baby!!! She was starving!!! She definately needed that second boob! I felt even worse because I had been expressing the 2nd boob as it was so enlarged and killing me when I should have been feeding her with it that whole time.
    DD#2 came along and I fed her both boobs from the very first feed. Once again the MW told me not to, but I explained to her what had happened before and I would do what I feel is best.... H has never been left starving!!!

    Massage and maybe some expressing (just a little to releave the discomfort) will get those lumps out. Do what works for you! It's all trial and error dear

  18. #18

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    You've got the best advice darl, so I won't repeat. But I WILL repeat that you AREN'T stupid. Most of us have rock-hard, lumpy watermelon boobies with massive oversupply with en endless list of troubles... but it does get better. I could never drain both breasts for a looooooooooooong time, Jazz would just feed on one side and then that'd be her whole feed, and the next time I'd feed on the other side. Other bubs will drain both sides. Jazz gained 1kg a month for a looooong time, and I remember that I didn't offer both sides until about 5 months. Thta worked for us. It's all about what works for you both

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