I know, I totally hear you there. I always bottle feed the boys when I go out in public, whether it's EBM or formula. I force myself not to look anywhere but at them as I don't want to see anyone's expressions. It shouldn't have to be like that, your baby, your decision.
It is a very emotional time and it is so hard to make the final decision. Especially when in your heart you would love to be BFing but in reality, it all seems too hard/impossible. I hope it all works out for you, no matter what you decide to do. Chin up, it will all get easier either way.