Nearly ready to give up

[onthefly]

Oh, he must be so afraid It is different when you have a baby with you, of course. Dr James McKenna has done quite a bit of research into the way mums sleep with their babies.
Anyway, what is he doing to help you get more sleep?
Where are you in Aus? Some hospitals don't have LCs, but there are some around in private practice and also some child health nurses are LCs too. They can be a huge help getting things sorted.

[butterflye]

Oh, he must be so afraid It is different when you have a baby with you, of course. Dr James McKenna has done quite a bit of research into the way mums sleep with their babies.
Anyway, what is he doing to help you get more sleep?
Where are you in Aus? Some hospitals don't have LCs, but there are some around in private practice and also some child health nurses are LCs too. They can be a huge help getting things sorted.

after she is fed and she wont settle or awake he will take her so i can sleep or gives her the bottle when i havnt got enough milk, when he isnt working. works 4 days on 4 days off kind of thing. i might go to the drop in clinic and have a talk to the nurce n midwife there on wed, hopful they can help because i dont know how much more i can take, so close to giving up.

[onthefly]

That's good, all help is good. Anyone else who can help you out at home?
Hope you find someone to help with the feeding. If you call the ABA,, they may also be able to point you in the direction of an LC

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

You have had a tough time of it over the last 9 weeks. I bet in some ways 9 weeks seems like you've had her forever, and that she's "getting a big girl now" but in reality she is just a newborn, with a newborn feeding pattern (prems are often fairly sleepy in the early days, so when they "wake up" around their due date it can be a shock(

I wonder, how often is she feeding in 24 hours? I know the night feeds are excruciating, but what about the day feeds? What are they like? What have her weight gains been like? When were you discharged from hospital?
If you want you can Pm me and we could possibly chat there.

[Arcadia]

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses.

The night time fussing is so tiring, even with a great milk supply, but it will certainly help low supply. You could also try pumping between feeds to boost your supply.

I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand cosleeping. It's actually biologically normal, and when you have a baby, you're so much more alert and aware of them. I think as a mother you sleep with one eye open no matter where they sleep.

In the end, you're the one feeding and doing the night shift, and I think it's unreasonable to expect you to never fall asleep while breastfeeding. It's supposed to make you sleepy. It's more dangerous if you're sitting in a chair and fall asleep, so that's why I would recommend actually getting yourself set up and prepared for bed sharing. Your dh needs to educate himself and trust you as the mother of the baby too. Obviously it's a joint decision, but at this stage you're at breaking poitnt and considering ending your breastfeeding relationship, and I think threats that you'd better not fall asleep are far from helpful.

I hope you find some more support.

[Kmn]

I not sure that 2 parents and a tiny baby is necessarily a good thing - just because they don't make big enough beds! Why don't you and bub get a big mattress on the floor and get rid of all your blankets and put warm clothes on. Then feed bub on "her side" of the mattress, and then roll yourself back onto your own side once she's done. Or even go back to your own bed when she's done - the combination of being able to lie down whilst feeding and not having to pick up and potentially wake a sleeping baby will still help.
I agree that falling asleep whilst sitting up with baby is possible, and much more dangerous.

Also - sleep as much as you can during the day. Do the bare minimum of house-stuff and regard "getting sleep" as an important job.
And, if you are having to use tea or coffee or similar to stay awake then beware - some babies are very sensitive to this and it can contribute to them sleeping badly. A dose of caffeine can take a day or more to wear off for a tiny baby. Other babies don't seem to be affected.

[butterflye]

Hi,

You have had a tough time of it over the last 9 weeks. I bet in some ways 9 weeks seems like you've had her forever, and that she's "getting a big girl now" but in reality she is just a newborn, with a newborn feeding pattern (prems are often fairly sleepy in the early days, so when they "wake up" around their due date it can be a shock(

I wonder, how often is she feeding in 24 hours? I know the night feeds are excruciating, but what about the day feeds? What are they like? What have her weight gains been like? When were you discharged from hospital?
If you want you can Pm me and we could possibly chat there.

she was born at 32+6 started bf around 36w, and around 37w we were discharged, day feeds r fine every 2 n half-3 hours, she is gaing weight great she due to be weighed again on wed, i would guess 3.5kg easly, when she was born she was only 1.5kg,lots of wet and diry nappies too. last night hubby wasnt home so co sleeped and i must say though she was feeding up to 2x per hour i feel great and milk has come in more today i feel nice n full again, and it was the most happiest and content ive ever seen her did not cry once, i new when she waas stiring n responded to her quicker then ever, had much more and easier let downs because i was not stressed, its the happiest in a few weeks ive felt in ages about bf, and i feel rested though feel like i slept with one eye open,im very happy not just her. and i didnt give her a bottle at all

[butterflye]

thank you to everyone that has replied you dont know how much it means

im thinking maby my parnter would be for welcoming with using safe and secure sleeper has anyone used these?

[butterflye]

That's good, all help is good. Anyone else who can help you out at home?
Hope you find someone to help with the feeding. If you call the ABA,, they may also be able to point you in the direction of an LC

no just me my parnter and grace, and my partner works nights