Nipples are too sore :(

[little_O]

Hun

Honestly it does get better. I know people said it to me and I was like WHEN?!? But after a little bit it did.

Your main responsibility for this part is just feeding your baby and getting rest. Sleep when they do, make feeding time relax time. After a few weeks they spread out their feeds a bit and you can start to think again. Don't stress about things until you can think!!

Enjoy these newborn snuggles, go with the flow. None of us know what to do the first time but the best thing is your baby doesn't know any better so they won't judge .

Also you are at the point when your milk comes in and you can get the blues, something to do with the hormones. This too will pass. Cry your heart out I know I did!

Just remember you are never failing!

[peanutter]

Also you are at the point when your milk comes in and you can get the blues, something to do with the hormones. This too will pass.

Good point !

Beware of the day 3 (which can be day 2-6) blues. They can be crushing - but it's normal, hormonal, and it passes. It's just your emotions going a bit mental. Ignore them. Feed them chocolate.

Come vent on BB. We get it.

[Marley&Me]

I just had a cry to DH saying how I wish things could go back to the way they were. How awful to even be thinking that. He has to go back to work on Monday and I will be on my own. Not that he can do much anyway because he can't feed her. He can settle her afterwards , but that's about it. Mum can come and help, but I don't want to hassle her every day just to do washing and dishes etc.


Please tell me you felt the same, about wishing things were just back to the way they were..

[chody47]

Totally normal. Your whole life has just changed completely. It will get better. Keep chatting on here.

[sahbear]

Totally normal! You are going through one of the biggest changes you will ever go through - physically, hormonally and mentally!
You will come through this, look back and realise that it was totally ok to feel the way you are.
Don't fight the tears, let them out, I'm sure each and everyone of us has been there.

BTW, congratulations on the arrival of your little girl, what did you name her?!

[HotI]

Really normal feelings, Tasha.

Losing more than 10% weight is also common. If you were given any fluids during labour, baby often gets these too and so their 'birth weight' is often greater than what it would be without the extra fluids. This fluid is then wee-ed out in the next few days and so when they are weighed at day 3 or 5 or 7, it can look like they have lost more than they actually did.

Washing and dishes can wait. Spend at least a couple of weeks just hanging in bed with your baby. It is really important and can help everything else in the long run, if you are given time to rest, recover and just chill with your bub.

If baby is feeding ok (not too small or tired to feed), then i would ask your care provider about doing top ups at the breast, rather than expressing and then feeding ebm to bub. it might be less labour intensive and time consuming to feed bub, and then top at the breast half an hour later.

take care

[PumpkinZulu]

Tasha, I felt the same. We TTC DD1 for 2 years and I still cried for the first few nights that I'd ruined our lives and I'd never have a relationship with DH again. Hang in there

[Joeve]

You are doing an awesome job. Those first few weeks are overwhelming but you will get more confident and once you start to trust yourself and what you think, not just want others tell you I think it starts to be less overwhelming.
Hugs xx

[Heaven]

Tasha. So so normal. I wish someone had told me!! Everything changes the first time and it's a huge shock you just can't anticipate. I remember crying that things would never be the same and thinking we'd made a huge mistake and weren't ready for this. But no one is ready for this! It is hard! Your whole life has changed and it's hard to see it's for the better right now when it feels so hard. Luckily you get more confident relatively quickly and things that seemed difficult not long ago you do without even thinking. It's a big adjustment but it is totally worth it. You are doing great!! xx

[Marley&Me]

I was thinking about only expressing breast milk. My milk still hasn't even come in yet and she was born on Wednesday. It's the feeding from the breast that is getting me down, I still don't think I'm doing in completely right. Plus DH wants to help, but can't because he can't feed. Health nurse is coming again tomorrow so I will ask her.

I've even considered formula......


ETA: I have named her Marley

[chody47]

What a beautiful name

Breastfeeding is hard. Both times I've found the first few weeks tough. Once you get going though it gets much easier. I would even say its easier than formula as you don't have to make it up, clean bottles, sterilise.....it's much cheaper too! You can do this. Try and get some sleep when you can. Everything always seems worse when you're tired.

[luna moth]

You'll get there mate. It's quite normal for your milk to take this long with your first. With my first it took 99 hours for my milk to come in.

Do look up baby led attachment, and see about letting your little girl lead the way with feeding, as it could help.
Do keep looking after those nipples, it's a big adjustment.
Do keep feed feed feeding. It won't be like this forever, I promise. The first few weeks are intense, but your baby will get calmer, and it will all get easier. Every 3 hours is a lot less than either of mine fed in those first three weeks. I felt like I was living on the couch feeding; and that's what tiny babies do to you!

And don't feel guilty about those crazy Day 3 feelings. I sobbed my heart out after DD2 arrived, those exact feelings you described. Ruined my life, ruined my DD1's life, ruined everything. Only now, I realise how much she's actually brought to us, and I laugh about it all.

Hang in there!

[Marley&Me]

just called the hospital and they said if i cant feed then get some formula to get me through the night. So i just got some. They said to express what I could and substitute the rest with formula. I just need to give my nipples a chance to recover and I will try again. And Dh can do the next feed so I can actually sleep..

Anyone else done this?

[OceanPrincess]

My gosh, I remember the day three blues with DD - morning of day five for me, I was in bed, DH had DD, and my mum rang. DH answered and I heard him say I was asleep but he'd check if I was awake, then heard him say we'd had an ok night and he gave the phone to me, mum said "How are you my baby?" And I just burst into tears.

DH was a bit shocked. Mum said "I'll be there in 20 minutes, give the phone back to DH", she said something to him and then he came and gave me a big cuddle. I couldn't even vocalise what was wrong, basically I couldn't even work out what was wrong! But the hormones knock you around really badly. You get all these good hormones to bring the labour on, to deliver baby, to literally push through the pain, then you get another massive flood to ensure you bond with your baby and then around day 3 they all bugger off and leave you.

And there you are, no sleep, sore beyond belief from giving birth, on what's possibly the biggest come down you've ever experienced, with a newborn demanding demanding demanding. It sucks.

But, you can get them back. Milk production works on hormones at this point... So the more time you spend cuddling your gorgeous Marley (love the name btw), holding her, smelling her, sleeping next to her, if you can, will help bring back those lovely hormones and bring in that milk.

Keep feeding. Ask the health centre nurse if your attachment is correct. Or go to an ABA meeting and get one of the counsellors to check. It can be really hard for us to try and help you with attachment on here, it is best if someone actually sees it happening.

Don't feel bad about the formula... It is ok to give your DH a turn at doing a night feed. But try to remember that to get your milk to come in, you need DD to feed at the breast. As HotI mentioned, maybe try expressed breast milk instead. But again - feeding at the breast is best for you at this point, as you work to establish breastfeeding. Your supply is driven mostly by hormones at this point but Marley is trying to get your milk to come in... She does this by feeding, suckling, crying. That's all she knows how to do.

Tasha, one thing people sometimes don't remember is that breastfeeding is a learned skill. It takes times, and practice. For you and Marley. Lots of mums struggle initially. Possibly we don't mention it because we forget about it It does get better. And it does get easier.

[Marley&Me]

Thanks OP. She was attaching correctly yesterday when the health nurse was here helping me, but when I'm on my own it looks the same, but somethings telling me it's not. And the fact my milk is still not here. i just expressed 20 mls so I will substitute the feeds until tomorrow when the health nurse comes back.

Far out, so bloody hard

[peanutter]

As soon as Marley learns how to attach well, it will be more comfortable than expressing - and a lot less work than formula.

You and her just need time to learn to do it well, and comfortably.

Be kind to yourself, give yourself time, and don't give up.

Also, be careful with your boobies - even though it might not seem that she's getting much milk out, you'd be surprised how efficient babies are - expressing won't get as much out, so you might be quite uncomfortable if you stop feeding for a little while, and just express. Keep an eye out

With both my babies, I expressed after feeds (by hand at the start, with a pump later on) so DH could do one of the early morning feeds every night, so I could get some sleep, and so he could bond too That worked really well for my family, and skipping one feed didn't seem to hurt my supply. The sleep probably helped a lot! Goodness knows I needed it

Stay in there, hun. You're doing well

Get the lactation consultant or someone from ABA to walk you through attachment a few more times - as soon as you've got that down pat, you'll be feeling heaps more comfortable and confident, and Marley will be feeding like a trooper

[OceanPrincess]

Yanno, her tummy is only as big as her fist at the moment, about ping pong ball size. Tiny! She doesn't need a lot of milk, but she needs it frequently as it is so quick to digest. 20mls of colostrum is good! Don't despair - your milk isn't far off!

[peanutter]

Thanks OP. She was attaching correctly yesterday when the health nurse was here helping me, but when I'm on my own it looks the same, but somethings telling me it's not. And the fact my milk is still not here. i just expressed 20 mls so I will substitute the feeds until tomorrow when the health nurse comes back.

Far out, so bloody hard

20 ml is quite a bit, in the first few days - don't let that stress you our too much either, hun

You can either give her the expressed milk and then give her boob (so she's not so frantic when at the breast) or you can let her latch on when she's starting, so she's sucking good and hard, to stimulate your supply.

I tended to let them have a little (wet the appetite, wake them up, and take the worst off it) and then put them on, and if they needed a little more, give them the rest afterwards, in those early days.

Otherwise, I just kept the expressed milk for the overnight DH feed, and for freezing.

Trust your body. You're right, and it is bloody hard - but after everything incredible your body has been able to do, conceiving, growing and birthing Marley, this is just another amazing thing that you're going to succeed in.