It sounds like everyone is having a hard time adjusting to the new situation mummab.
Please keep in mind that what is best for you is also best for both your boys so while your older one is adjusting to sharing you & learning what the new boundaries are he will get there & it sounds like you really need them for your own peace of mind.
I wish I could wave a magic wand for you to stop time so you could get some sleep.
Sending you lot's of hugs & hoping both the sleep & reflux settles soon...
Have you thought about cleaner or someone who can help watch your older boy for a few hours while you rest with ds2?
Its been really difficult since i started restricting my toddler, his reaction to it has been getting worse not better, especially when he's tired and frustrated. I'm finding that not being able to comfort feed him through those emotions is making his behaviour worse. When he's needing attention now he's squealing/throwing things at me or the baby, i try to react with gentle words and distractions but none of that is working. Plus for me it feels awful to constantly refuse him, he cries, he stomps away and its not much a better situation than the constant feeding..... so i'm thinking maybe i should just go back to doing him on demand because this isn't really any easer. I don't know, should i stick with it? how much longer would it take for him to understand and accept just having BF 3 times a day? my instinct and heart is just saying feed him when he wants it... i feel like the constant saying no and trying to re-distract is negative. He also refuses the rice milk i offer and most times throws it at me.... all this co-incides with him turning 2 and going through the challenging time of processing his emotions, so i'm thinking maybe i need to continue feeding him on demand to support him through it... what do you think?? As hard as the constant feeding is on me, i can get through it if need be. The alternative hasn't been easier.
Just thinking.. Is there maybe a compromise so you don't feel like it's a constant denial of breastfeeds? Perhaps you could reward his good behaviour with a feed? LOL - I don't really know.. just something that came to mind while reading your post. That way he might not feel like it's a constant battle to get a feed? If you can catch him being good and offer him a feed when you feel like feeding, it might curb the constant demanding at times he can't have it. Just a thought.
I think the main confusion was coming from the naptime feed, because i was attempting it so many times due to not being able to put the baby down, he was getting confused as the BFs were not limited in a way that made sense. I also noticed a definate change in his personality, being more frustrated and taking it out on the baby and me by throwing things/squealing - i know this is also common 2 year old behaviour but it got worse when i was trying to restrict the feeds. As of yesterday i've gone back to feeding him on demand... things are so much more peaceful here and thats making me feel less stressed. I've also tried to be more positive and enthusiastic with him when he has been nice to the baby and/or shared the boobs - saying excitedly "wow good sharing" etc, and i notice this makes him happy. Its just been so hard on my part to remain positive and excited when going through this reflux gig with my baby and i'm so low on sleep and energy - but i'm really trying.
I have a Lactation consultant coming today and i'm really looking forward to that. I also looked up the local aba meeting and this was the week its not on, its only fortnightly, so i'll be going next week. I really do want to make this work i just need IRL physical support as well.
Good on you hun, I hope the LC has some pearls for you today Enjoy your ABA meeting next week, if nothing else, you should be able to have a cuppa while someone else holds your bub LOL! And if they don't offer, hand him over Seriously though, I'm sure you'll find them a great support.
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Seriously though, I'm sure you'll find them a great support.
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