HELP!! DS doesn't seem to like b/feeding anymore....

[mambo]

Where to start....

DS is now 5.5 months old and for the last 6 or so weeks has been slowly getting more and more agitated when feeding. I was on motillium pretty much from the moment i got home from hospital (to increase milk supply) and I just recently weaned off them...about the same time DS has started to get cranky. He's currently feeding every 3 hours or so...the feed starts off normally but within a minute he starts squealing/crying, arching his back, kicking his legs until he breaks off...this happens constantly throughout the feed..i usually give him the dummy in between him breaking off in order to try to calm him down. Its getting to the point where hes frustrated, im frustrated and the feed ends with both of us in tears!! He used to feed 10minutes on each breast...now im lucky if he feeds for 5! He cant possibly be getting enough! The strange thing is that the only time he doesnt cry during a feed is overnight...im putting that down to the fact that hes tired and not sucking so vigorously. I became so frustrated with the whole thing that I caved and bought formula last week and gave him a bottle at about 10.30pm one night and he slept right through! Must admit I felt pretty guilty doing that but i was just at my wits end! Ive spoken to my maternal nurse about it as I thought maybe he had reflux but she doesnt think thats the case...she suggested instead of using the formula to top him up after the night feed with ebm. Thats all fine and dandy but what about this screaming fit he has all day!! I did a trial on him this afternoon...gave him a bottle of formula and he took it no probs...bought tears to my eyes cause it makes me wonder;
Does that mean hes not getting enough from me?
Is he not getting it fast enough so he gets frustrated (preferring the bottle)?
Does he in fact have reflux and therefore take the bottle well as hes feeding upright?

I expressed about an hour after feeding him the bottle and managed to express 100ml (10 min on each boob)... i know bubs are more efficient at feeding than a machine so surely it cant be a supply issue? Have tried expressing first then feeding in order to try to make it easier on him but that didnt work..dont want to go back onto motilium so am going to try some fenugreek and blessed thistle to see if they help but am at a loss as to what else to do! Could it be a teething issue?

Far out this has become an essay (sorry!) but before i go completely insane wondering what the problem could be thought it might be good to turn to you lovely ladies full of wisdom! What am i doing wrong? Dont want to stop breastfeeding him as im really enjoying it...not to mention the goodness it does for him

Any wise words for me??

[onthefly]

It's actually quite normal behaviour at this age. 5 minutes is enough time to get all the milk out at this age - but I totally understand your concerns. I was so worried when DS did this about around 4 months.
The reason he doesn't get upset during hte night is most likely because it's dark and quiet and there's nothign much else going on. During the day, however, he's probably getting very interested in the world around him and feeding gets in the way of that. Just note also that if you introduce bottles at this time, he may decide he prefers them (as he can feed while looking around) - just something to be aware of.

Things that helped me:
Find a nice, quiet, dimly lit place to feed.
If he's done, let him go. Don't ever try to force him back to the breast.
Remember it's probably a phase and should pass with a bit of time. Try as much as you can to relax and go with the flow.

If you're concerned about how much milk he's getting then watch his nappies - that's always the best way to tell if he's getting enough. And remember the ABA helpline is always there if you have any concerns or questions.

All the best

[mambo]

Thanks MadB for your response and suggestions I have tried going into a darkened quiet room to feed and i still seem to have problems (also tricky for me to do all the time as I have a very active toddler to disrupt things too!) Im concerned because he gets so distressed...hes not just distracted hes either in pain or very very frustrated...I might add that he sucks soooo hard sometimes that his eye goes red...almost like hes about to burst a capillary! He is producing good wet nappies so I feel like he is getting enough but at the same time it cant be normal for him to break off after a few minutes crying and do this constantly throughout the feed! I just cant put my finger on what is going on...am hoping if it is a phase it will end soon cause feeding is becoming so stressful for me...might get in touch with a lactation consultant and see if they can provide some answers too...thanks again for your response...

[onthefly]

There could be something else going on - it's definitely worth checking out. Lots of wet nappies sounds good, though.
I know with my DS this phase evolved into breast refusal after I kept trying to force him to feed more. Almost literally the minute I relaxed about it, the problem disappeared.
Hope you sort it out soon

[MummaSue]

My DD did this (and still does to a point). She's a very distracted little thing who loves to just get 5 minutes on the boob and then be off on her merry way to play again. And it started around 4-5 months too. She seems to be a power feeder, gets all she needs in that 5 minutes.

I found that lying down and feeding her helped us.

[Barb Glare]

More questions than answers right now. How many times does he feed in 24 hours? Both sides? is he on solids yet? It is recommended they start at around the 6 mnths mark - which is just around the corner for your LO

[dusty]

Mambo I just came in here to write the same post! No kidding. DD is just past 5 months and feeding in the day just seems to get in her way of playing and being involved in the world. DD is fine, gaining weight, plenty of nappies but she snacks all day. I've timed her and I'm lucky to get 5 min total each feed once a let down happens. So I just offer her the breast at every opportunity and it seems to work for us. She never seems to be hungry.

From 3-4.5 months I used a dummy to calm her down and slip my nipple in once she was calm. That has now passed but one of my breasts doesn't have as fast a flow as the other so she tends to get very frustrated on that one. I always offer it to her first when she is hungriest to at least get some milk flowing.

Overnight she has longer feeds (7 mins a side) and I think she is getting a lot of her calories that way, when she is half asleep and not distracted. Its hard not to worry though isn't it.

I always feed her in her room, darkened with no or few distractions, and definitely no people around. Its impossible to get her to focus if there is any talking LOL.

I hope things improve for you, and that like so many other things with parenting, that "This too shall pass". xx

[mambo]

MamaSue: I still havent mastered feeding lying down...might have to practice that one more!

Barb Glare: DS feeds 6 times within a 24hour period..feeds on both sides just not for very long...I started him on rice cereal last week but stopped after a few days as I felt he was constipated and wondered whether the rice cereal could have caused it. I did give him mashed banana yesterday and today about an hour after a feed and he loved it. My maternal nurse told me they are now saying you can start solids from 4 months if bubs is showing signs....am I wrong in doing this?

Dusty: I do EXACTLY the same thing as you with the dummy! Its the only way I can calm him down.. Overnight my DS feeds really well...10 minutes on each side...so I actually feel like he has a good amount at night..why cant he do that during the day!!
Does your DD also break off crying constantly throughout the feed? Is she now feeding ok? Oh I do hope its just a phase and that it passes soon...otherwise im going to be one stressed out bald woman!

Thanks again ladies for all your responses and re-assurance

[dusty]

Does your DD also break off crying constantly throughout the feed? Is she now feeding ok? Oh I do hope its just a phase and that it passes soon

DD doesn't cry as such but gets frustrated/worked up & let's me know it. I remain calm and talk gently with her & then offer the breast or other breast again. I get her up to burp and then try again a few minutes later. Sometimes she'll continue feeding if not I don't push it. The other thing is DD gets overtired very easily now-a-days so I always try to feed her before she does. Like MadB not pushing it but giving her the opportunity if she wants it sometimes works. The dummy sometimes works if she's overtired. I'm offering a feed every 1.5-2 hours in the day & that suits her. It's never for long as I said. I was coming into post just for reassurance that what I'm doing is ok, it feels ok but people around me always push solids or stricter routine so MY life is better. But I personally love this extra time with DD & feel we have a good understanding if I just listen to her. DD is not really a comfort feeder either she gets her fuel & is on her way to the next thing LOL. Although she likes to now always have a sip before settling for a nap which may be a way to help wind down.
I've put it down to the world has become such an interesting place to explore & feeding is something she's already mastered & takes for granted & it's probably just me not realizing how efficient her feeds have become. She has always been super active & alert from day 1 & while some babies lie quietly when awake DD has always wanted to be upright being involved & looking around. She hates lying down (which is part of the trouble with her frustration at having to feed) so I sometimes feed her upright sitting straddling my leg. This works best when we are out and about.

Perhaps Barb will have some more ideas or reassurance.

[mambo]

Update: Have fed DS in my bedroom with the blinds closed all day today (which is what we do overnight and he feeds well then) and it seems to have helped slightly...he still was getting upset but I was trying to remain calm and distract him from crying by offering him the dummy to play with which he seemed to take to. I think me getting so worked up wasnt helping the situation..will see what tommorow brings but I feel abit more relieved today...thanks again ladies

[MummaSue]

Glad to hear today was better

[dusty]

Hey Mambo, it's hard not to worry isn't it. I'm glad things were a bit improved with the dark space. I forgot to mention I also wear a long necklace to help distract/ entertain DD. That may also help. Xx