I just need to vent really. If anyone has any bright ideas they would be welcome, but I feel like we have everything covered! You never know though.
I thought it would be different this time. I was prepared for some basic issues, but I can't believe that I am unlucky enough to have maternal AND child related issues with breastfeeding, with BOTH of my babies . One or the other I could cope with, but both is just giving me a headache and making me miserable. I guess I'm lucky that this time I am better prepared, know what to do and where to go for help. But I still feel very lost, and very lonely. We are EXTREMELY lucky that DS2 has been fed exclusively with BM, something that is very tricky with a prem. I am ever grateful to our BM donors, it has taken a huge amount of stress out of this experience.
I need to come to terms with this, and be able to move on to BF DS2 in whatever way is possible for us. I know it can be done, but the unknown is really stressing me out. Why oh why can't I be one of those people who have the usual first six weeks of issues and then go on to BF exclusively? I want this so much, surely it's not too much to ask?????
i dont have any advice, just some big squishy hugs..
I know how you feel (to an extent) i had soo many problems bfing, and im totally scared that the same things are goign to happen with the next bub, but i gotta stay positive!!
I hope it all works out well for you, and it sounds to be like your clued up, and thats one of the biggest steps
But you are the kind of very determined Mum who is probably going to be posting in here in a couple of years saying "how do I gently wean this booby monster...".
I can understand not wanting to do it all again - but what I want you to remember is that in the end you won last time and you can win again. Get the best help you can, call the ABA and cry at them 'cause that's what they're for, and give DS2 as much milk as you are able to.
I am guessing that now is the hardest time of all - teaching DS2 what to do and at the same time trying to get some sort of supply happening. Both of those things should get better.
If there's anything I can do please let me know
hugs
Kate
Huge, huge, huge hugs to you Janie Sending you all my strength! You can do it! That's why he chose you. (But please do take time to cry, and rest, and vent, and plead for help). We are all here for you. More hugs.
awwwwwwwwwwww hun. you are doing an amazing job, you and i both know that, i wish so much that you can have the best breastfeeding experience possible (and i know you will) but maybe give him a little longer, remember he's not ment to be here jsut yet, hes still tiny. have you tried a feedline?? call me if you need to
Oh Janie I'm sorry you having a rough time again It is AN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT to have a premmie who hasn't has any formula at all - WELL DONE!!!
I'm hoping that someone someone will have the answer for you. What is happening hun?
Thanks everyone. Liviam, it's low supply again. I mean, there's also the whole teaching-the premmie-baby-to-BF, and tiny-baby-that-needs-to-gain-weight-well, but it's the supply issues that are really getting to me. I know that they're compounded by the other stuff, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that it's a problem in itself, if that makes sense. I'm doing the works, feeding, pumping, taking all the galactologues, resting when I can, wearing him in a sling etc etc. I'm also looking into a specific herbal galactologue that is popular OS, but I can't seem to get it here. I think it would be beneficial to my specific situation.
I think I have a bit of a block regarding formula.........I'm pretty sure that DS2 will have to be comped with it. I know this logically, yet I can't quite come to terms with it. I think I'm going to have to at some stage though! For now I'm in denial, and hopefully I'll be able to stay there and things will magically improve .
You know, I have so many issues surrounding all of this it's not funny! But for now I just want to say IT'S NOT FAIR .
I feel for you, I too have been there in different kind of ways.
DD1 I exclusively expressed for as she is unable to suck.
DD2 I had so much hope, I prepared as much as possible and went in with a positive mind and it did not turn out as planned.
DD2 was discharged from hospital at 16 days old with 80% of her feeds through her NGT, I was also expressing full time for her feeds, I felt like she was never going to drink, from the breast or EBM through a bottle but then at 5 weeks something just clicked, she went from 80% feeds through her NGT to 80% bottle and 20% breast, we removed the BGT. Then at 6 weeks she decided that breast was best and she has never looked back.
The first 6 weeks are definately hard and even more so when you have a prem or sick baby, you are doing a fantastic job keeping with it so long, your little boy is getting stronger everyday, believe in yourself and in your baby, you can and will succeed.
How wonderful to hear that you have some wonderful BM donors, what amazing women.
BF'ing a prem is a long and difficult journey for some of us, and you are doing an awesome job and I think it is just beautiful that you have had the lovely support of friends to donate their BM for you
You wee little man must be still very tiny, and it was what I encountered with DD and she was just over 2kg when we brought her home. Her mouth was small she had limited energy and yes it was stressful and difficult. BF'ing such a little one takes a lot of work, it is exhausting and our feeds used to take 1 1/2 hours and we were supposed to be feeding 2 hourly
We found that using the nipple shield helped both of us, it made it easier for her to attach and stay on and wasn't as hard for her to work, as it takes a lot of effort to hold a boob The reality for us was that DD didn't feed without causing me pain until she was 5 1/2 months old, I really don't know how I persevered.... I was also on 60-80mg of Motilium a day, after we actually saw a really good GP/LC, it made a big difference to my supply
I completely understand the F as well, it broke my heart when we had to do F top ups, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but as DD lost weight and was already so far behind in her gains she didn't really have any to lose. But I found ways to look at it, without it being so painful and emotional. As a mother you are providing all of the wonderful nutrients, antibodies and loveliness of BM, the F is there to just to help but on that bit of extra weight gain that gets you over the line as such. I found it easier if I could get others to do the F top up other than me when I had the opportunity, that way I found I could separate myself from it at times and it made it easier.
The day I had to go out and buy formula I bawled my eyes out, I was absolutely shattered, I wandered the Baby section in the supermarket with tears rolling down my cheeks, trying to work out which one to buy. I felt horrible, I did feel like I had failed... But it took me a long time but I eventually looked at it not as failing, but doing what I had to do. It was that or FTT..... The following week when I went back for another weighin for DD, the MW said to me so your Formula feeding now, and I said, no, I am breastfeeding and topping up with formula. She was certain I would be FF, and I said well you don't know me very well. I was even more determined at that point to prove her wrong and eventually get back to Exclusively BFing.
What I eventually did was buy my own digital baby scales, I got them from ebay and were quite cheap But they are accurate and I check the callibration on them regularly. But what this allowed me to do was monitor DD's weight myself, without the added pressure of someone looking over my shoulder at each weigh in waiting for the gain or loss. I found that this took pressure off, and I tried different feeding methods and worked out what worked best for us, and I could see what I was doing helped her gain or didn't help. TBH a lot of my prem friends have them, and if we have been concerned then we do go back to our Paeds. That way you can weigh at the same time, after the 2 feed for the day or what ever suits you, that way you know that the weights are as consistent as possible, as during the day weight fluctuates and on our wee one's a pee can make a big difference
Here for you hun, and you can do it again, we will be here for the good days and the bad, take care xxoo
Just quickly.........my naturopath has got some Goat's Rue for me! And we're trying a supply line, once I get it set up over the next couple of days. A bit scary, but I'm happy to be trying new things, in the hope that they improve the situation! His attachment is pretty dodgy, so I'm really wanting to reduce the amount of bottles he's having.
Oh, and he was weighed today, gained 180g this week
Hey Janie,
That's great about the goat rue! Quick question - what is goats rue? And, if it is to promote glandular tissue growth can you take it while you're pregnant in anticipation of breastfeeding. Having had the same supply issues as you with DD am nervous about this one being the same and this is the first time I've heard of something new so thanks.
So frustrated that I'm here again......
. One or the other I could cope with, but both is just giving me a headache and making me miserable. I guess I'm lucky that this time I am better prepared, know what to do and where to go for help. But I still feel very lost, and very lonely. We are EXTREMELY lucky that DS2 has been fed exclusively with BM, something that is very tricky with a prem. I am ever grateful to our BM donors, it has taken a huge amount of stress out of this experience.
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i dont have any advice, just some big squishy hugs..
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