Just struggling a little and need to get it out. Honestly why does this breastfeeding have to be so damn hard at the start. Here I am 3rd child, you would have thought I would have a handle on these early days by now... but no having the same issues that I had with my two boys.

DD is 2.5 weeks old now, we actually had a great start to the breastfeeding but it's all starting to go down hill now. I have always had massive engorgement problems with each and every one plus a very fast flow. The boys didn't handle the flow at all. Little DD however was coping ok with the flow until she caught the flu that the rest of us have. Now she can barely breathe and it's wreaking havoc on her attachment, she can't handle the flow and is choking constantly, so therefeore she is gulping and swallowing so much wind that she is in constant pain.

Not to mention the fact that I am sooo sick with this flu myself, I have a horrible sinus infection that is making me feel like crap but I can't get into a doctor to get AB's for it. My husband is suffering from the dreaded man flu version of it and I also have a sick 1 and 3 year old. It's all a little to much.

Despite extensive block feeding she is still getting too much foremilk and her poo's are often green with lactose overload, adding to the gassiness and colic of her gulping.

The engorgement hurts, my head hurts, and I am almost 100% certain we now have thrush because my boobs sting and ache and itch and are just so painful. Once again, can't get into a doctor to get it checked so just another thing to put up with. I am tired, it's hard work, 3 kids under 4, being sick, having kids that are sick, recovering from a c-section, thrush, engorgement, attachment issues because of her breathing, choking, the wind, her being unsettled, the lactose overload.... I am just freaking tired.

I don't know are these early days a test... if you survive it, you will survive the rest of mother hood. Some days I feel like the whole universe is against successful breastfeeding. Gah no need to reply, I know this too will pass... just needed to vent.