trouble positioning & attaching - big BB's & short arms!

[belfie]

I'm currently using a nipple shield for inverted nipples with a 3.5 week old (my first). I've seen an LC and we've all agreed we'll keep the shield going at present. BUT I'm now finding it really difficult to position & attach him.

Just when I seem to get him on and attached well, he arches back and pops himself on. The other option is to use a death grip to try and keep him in place - but that doesn't feel right either! My assumption is that he's uncomfortable in some way which is why he's moving/popping off. After our LC visit on Sat we agreed I'd use cradle hold on the left BB and football hold on the right.

In the hossie, the middies suggested you should be able to carry the baby in the football hold. I just can't seem to. He's more resting on a pillow with my hand supporting behind the shoulders. Should I be able to pick him up in that hold? I'm fairly short (5'2") and got big BB's. My nipples are below the height of my elbows (woe is me, gravity loves my BB's far too much! ), so I just feel I can't hold him, or it's taking immense effort to hold him. Oh and I'm sitting in a great BFing chair that is a good size for me, with a footstool, and typically using a pillow to support the bulk of his weight (but have played around with different pillow thicknesses & cushions etc). I've also joined ABA (for those who read my other thread) and I'm going to call my LC tomorrow to ask about this too.

Similarly in the cradle hold, I feel like i'm twisting to get my right hand behind his neck/shoulders but to line up nose to nipple I can't see a different way to do it. Has anyone else who's short with big BB's had this problem? Or is this just a learning to BF thing and we'll learn the best way to stick ourselves together over time? Obviously the shield doesn't help either, as once he's flailing, just as I get him lined up well with a good gaping mouth... one little fist knocks the shield off! I've tried feeding him clothed (average), swaddled (he seems even MORE agitated) and skin-to-skin (best result, but the fists are free!).

Love to hear your thoughts/wisdom, TIA.

[~clover~]

I wouldn't worry too much about being able to carry him in the football hold.
Maybe get a BFing pillow to help.
I'd be pretty confident that the more practise you both have the better it'll get.
Maybe try laying down to feed him.
Good luck.

[MantaRay]

Hun, big BBs can make it really difficult, but it does get easier once bub gets a bit bigger and learns what to do. I have a friend who couldn't manage to feed without a bfing pillow until her DS was well over 1. I believe that LCs don't recommend using pillows now, but I know it really helped her. Have you tried feeding lying on your side?

I'm not sure what else to suggest, but I encourage you to stick with it. It will get easier. In the meantime you are doing a fantastic job. Hang in there hun.

[Nelle]

Laying down could work, give that a shot. Do you think a mirror or something could help you see what you're doing? Let us know how you go with the LC.

Oh, and as for the flailing fists - I learned the art of pinning arms to their body while they attached. But you could always try starting with them swaddled, and then letting them loose once they're attached. To be honest, the easiest was when dh or a friend/relative was around to hold their arms out of the way so I could focus on attachement. How annoying are those little arms?!!

[feeb]

i have big boobs and need to support it at every feed so i have ds on a pillow to feed. If we r out i fold up a blanket for hight and lean him on that so i dont hold him a lot of the time as such, i cant do the let go of boob and put arm around baby thing as boob falls out if his mouth.

I found football hold didnt help.

i get a sore hand supporting boob

[belfie]

Thanks for the replies. I just tried ringing ABA earlier.
They thought he might have some nipple confusion which wasn't helping. Suggested I talk to my LC re cup feeding rather than bottle feeding. So now i feel guilty that I've given him too much bottle - but then I haven't managed to get him on successfully hardly at all recently - so then I don't want to starve him when he's screaming & hungry!

Anyway, she seemed to have some good suggestions. So I was all motivated. Plus I'd written a list of 3 positives about BFing earlier, and we'd written down what DH can do to help me (basically sit, cheer, hold fists etc). And I joined ABA. I'm so constructive, and I was feeling good/positive about trying another BF.

Anyway, we had an awful feed, I couldn't get him on (10 mins trying) - then just cried through the entire feed as I gave him the bottle - then ran out of EBM, so gave him FF. I'm trying so hard to do the right thing, but i end up bawling every other feed. Then I think that isn't helping cos I'm supposed to be all relaxed and positive - how i"m supposed to do that i don't know! Right now i just feel like giving up. My sister fed EBM for 6 weeks before she got hers on, then successfully BF for yonks. So part of me says it's not the worst thing in the world if I just express & bottle feed. It's just time consuming. And every time I end up doing a feed from the bottle then expressing to try and get enough - and i KNOW i'm not a failure, but emotionally... I just feel so yuck about it.

oh and i haven't tried lying down. S'one helpful (MHCN) told me it would be too hard with big BB's & shield. And right now i"m not feeling really positive about trying something new.... but tomorrow I might try. Maybe.

Sorry, midnight whingey post. Presumably I'll look at this tomorrow and cringe. Oh and I'm nervous re tomorrow cos it's DH's first day off at work, then he's out in the evening too. I don't think I can get him on at all without some help. But I can't really hire a fist holder for every 3-4 hours!!!!!

[Kmn]

I have big boobs and very short arms. PM me your email and I'll send you pictures of some ways to feed with this hassle...