When did it get better for you - attachment issues
Hi there,
DS is 1 month old tomorrow and we are still working on attachment. We start on the breast and when the feed is unsuccessful which is 95% of the time (goes to sleep or throws himself off and refuses to go back on) we end on the bottle (EBM) to ensure he is gaining weight. Then I express to make more EBM. The whole cycle takes about 1.5 hours (including burping, changing and washing the equipment). We do this every 3 hours. It gets a bit frustrating as I only have 1.5 hours to leave the house and get back so I have access to the breast pump.
We are working with LCs at the hospital and have weekly appointments. One LC and and a few BB members have told me that it does get better maybe around the 4-6 week mark. Other LCs have said there isn't a magic age but it gets better in the bubs own time.
I still feel in a grey area of not knowing if I should just be and exclusive expresser, move onto formula or continue in the hope there is improvement just around the corner.
If you had difficulties with attachment when did it get better for you, or did it? Was there any tricks or was it more to do with your bubs age?
The early days are so hard hey? You're doing a great job.
We had some horrible issues in the beginning too - and it took around 10-12 weeks for me to feel like we were really doing well.
I think what your LC saying about it getting better in your baby's own time is correct. Each little one is different. It's funny, I thought that breast feeding would come naturally and be *easy* but we both (me and DD) had to really learn it and it did take a while before we found our groove.
Don't forget too that the ABA has a hotline which is awesome 1800 6862686. Are you a member of the ABA? I found my local support groups to be really awesome too
I also find (even now and DD is one) that we didn't attach in the conventional way - when we did it the "textbook" way, I got horribly damaged nipples. Like I said before, we found our own groove and we do what is working for us.
I had problems with both my girls (very, very long story) which in hindsight I put down to having large nipples and them having problems fitting it into their small mouths. Lactation consultants didn't tell me this, they just told me to keep trying which I found futile. Anyhow, because for me it was predominantly a size issue, it got much, much better around the 6-7-8 week mark and instead of attachment being a complete nightmare, it became quite easy.
It sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment I know it would be so much easier to have an idea of when things will be easier. I only had to express every feed for a few days when DS1 had a tongue-tie and it was so time consuming I don't know how mums do it for longer than that.
Unfortunately I think it is really variable - it comes down to what is going on that is stopping things from working well (and it might be more than one thing). With all the people you are seeing, I guess you have tried Baby Led Attachment and Susanne Coulson's Laid-back Nurturing? These would be the first things I'd suggest. Susanne's DVD blew me away when I saw how much difference the laid-back position and having baby diagonally across mum rather than in cradle hold made. Also the obvious checks for tongue-tie, high palate etc. Some mums have great success with an osteo, especially if it was a diffiult or instrumental (eg vaccum) birth. I think sometimes it's just a matter of bub getting bigger or supply settling down, but other times it's a matter of investigating until you find a solutioin that works.
I hope it's soon for you - I know how great it will feel to have feeding going well
Lisa B, I have written your post numerous times over the past 3 months lol! My DD has just hit the 12 week mark and attachment has only become easier over the past two weeks. I was in the same position of being so close to using formula too. All I can say is just try your best to hang in there (I know how hard that is) and things will only get easier with time. There will actually come a time when you feel like you can enjoy breastfeeding!
Isadora - thanks. I don't know how you hung in there for 10 weeks. That's amazing.
MantaRay - we don't really have a diagnosed problem. The latest theory is that because it was too painful for me and I had nipple damage when I left the hospital and we began to use a bottle that DS might have just developed a preference for the bottle. Yes I've been introduced to infant led and seen the DVD. I find the laid back position hard to get bub into the position. The DVD was beautiful and made me want to cry.
Fionas - I hope we can get it together in the same timeframe as you.
MummaSue - yes we can't do the text book way. In fact we use a nipple shield and I just let him get on the way he wants and then make some adjustments. I've been a bit reluctant to join ABA as I'm worried that I will feel like even more of a failure if I start going along to meetings and then end up bombing out to formula. I guess I feel like I'm mentally in no-mans land at the moment. Again, 10 weeks seems like such a long time to hold out for. You've done an amazing job to get through that.
DD is 8 weeks old and her attachment is still bad bad bad. Every feed is painful. She makes a clicking noise every feed. She has a disorganized suck and gets tired and sick of sucking quickly so she is never full so she feeds hourly. LC can't figure it out. Her attachment looks right it just isn't. I have had enough. But unfortunately she has just as much trouble with a bottle and chokes on every teat I have tried. She can't control the flow at all. So I try to offer her a bottle of ebm to give my nipples a break and she refuses it once she starts choking. So I just have to hope it gets better. I really hope it gets better.
When did it get better for you - attachment issues
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