Our RE says we're expected to have it tidy for inspections so they can see any damage (I'm guessing no strategically placed stuff over carpet stains, for example!), which I get. But they also say stuff like make the beds, which I generally do anyway (won't tell you what gets hidden under there!), but don't see that being any of their business. Same with your laundry and a few kids things being out....I've offered to move DS's floor mat so they can see it's not hiding stains, but my RE just laughs at me...I obviously look trustworthy

Sounds like they're being picky on purpose - is she new and needs to prove herself? Has she seen you've had to have re inspections before and feels like she'd look slack by letting you get away scot-free? The fact that you asked at the time and she failed to mention any of that is really poor form IMO.

Find out your rights, then see them in person to discuss. It'd do my head in to have to go through that every three months!