Fiona - is your physio affiliated with the hospital you are birthing at? Or does she know a good one at the hossy who knows about SPD? Considering the severity of your condition, I'd probably be inclined to only get out of bed (the first time) with them present so they can assess how you're doing and what you're going to need. An OT (occupational therapy) assessment might also be in order - especially for home on the off chance you haven't already had one. When a hospital does the OT home assessment, they can often provide you equipment for home at little to no cost as well as organise any home help.

I know it's stressful and frustrating but I think you're probably going to have to wait and see how you go. No two people are the same, so no two people will have the same recovery. There are "guidelines" for when they will want you up and what they want you to do - but guidelines are just that, guidelines.

You originally asked how much help people needed - it is going to depend on several things for you. How sore you are after the surgery, the abdominal incision may make it painful for you to lift your shoulders off the bed to reach for baby - but you won't know until you try.
You won't know how easy or difficult it is going to be to pick baby up from the crib until you try.
You're not going to know how difficult it is to roll in bed, or stand or walk...until you try.

I know you don't like to be dependent on others - but you're in hospital because you need to be. If you could have that recovery at home, you would be at home! Use the nurses as much as you need to and don't give it a second thought. You and your babies needs are what's important - sure there are other patients but if you don't ask for the help, the staff won't know you need it and so you won't get it. Pride recovers a lot quicker than SPD and major abdominal surgery

I hope things work out with a carer for DD.

MG