Hi, I've just joined the forum and was drawn to this post because I had a CS for the birth of my first baby 8 weeks ago. I had started out in the FBC, but had to be transferred for a CS due to bubs being in a breech position with low fluid and a placenta that started to break down early. I was devastated to have to have a CS as I really wanted to birth my baby naturally. I've barely had a chance to process the experience, but have been aware of a sense of grief that seems others dont really understand.

Thanks for posting this article, it has got me connected with my experience (I have tears streaming as I write this!)

I hated the experience of the surgery, I felt like an object, I was disappointed that I couldn't birth my baby and I now wonder whether I will ever have another child because I'd hate to go through that again, and I've lost confidence in my ability to birth a baby naturally. I cried throughout the operation because I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that this is not how a baby is meant to come into the world.

I was also disappointed because the staff would not allow immediate skin to skin contact, instead insisting that they wipe her down and wrap her up before giving her to me, due to the low temperature in the theatre. I had heard that they might do this and had advocated as strongly as I could to have her placed directly onto me (with a blanket to keep her warm), but they insisted and did nt do what I wanted. One nurse even said to me when I got into theatre "See, I told you it was cold in here", which I thought was totally insensitive and unnecessary.

I will never forget the moment I first saw my baby and heard her cry out. This was the moment i knew she was ok. Although I hated the surgery experience, thank goodness I could be awake so I could at least have this moment. I was able to breast feed her in the recovery room and hold her as they wheeled me to the ward, so I was happy with this too.

I'd love to hear from others who were hoping for a natural birth and ended up having to have a CS. I could write heaps more, but time is pressing and bubs will wake for a feed shortly...