Well I have more time to reply now, so here goes. And this is just my experience and my feelings towards my scar. In no way am I telling other people how to feel or judging anyone, cos that's not how I roll...

Anyway, I am very grateful that DD is alive and now well after a very full on year between intensive care and other medical specialists as well as therapies, and it's still not over!

When I look at my scar, I feel like a failure. MY body failed her. I had a whole birth plan typed out, even printed and with my hospital records. I wanted a vaginal birth with as little intervention as possible. Instead, I got the whole ctg, bedrest, no induction, wheeled straight into theatre for am emergency c section... I had to fight to have a epi/spinal put in instead of a general. I was by myself. It was a very scary time of my life, and we didn't know if our baby would make it through the trauma of a Caesarian, let alone the night. So I can not look at my scar without feeling guilt, resentment (about my.birth plans not even being considered) and pain, fear, hurt, upset and a whole lot of other emotions.

Bringing a child into this world is supposed to be a happy time. Not guilty, fearful, unknown...

So, yeah. That's why I can't even bare to look at mine. I got feeling back in it about a month ago, and even the feel when rubbing vitamin E cream into it triggers the emotions. :-(