I hear what you're saying Marydean but I also think there's a time and a place to start offering information. Meringue stated on several occasions that she did not want information about the pros/cons of caesars - I can understand why she would have felt she wasn't being listened to. Instead, people kept pointing her in the direction of information that she'd clearly said she didn't want. Now obviously we are a well-meaning bunch on BB and we want the best outcome for her but we're banging our heads against a brick wall if we don't listen. We may have to agree to disagree but I don't think Meringue was treated respectfully and we are meant to be about gentleness and respect.
I have to say that I agree with Fionas.. If Meringue had stated that her reason was physical birth trauma that she herself had experienced during a previous birth, and she'd researched her choices, yada yada, and decided she wanted an elective c/s, would she have been repeatedly reminded that in terms of risk, she was making the sub-optimal choice and should read up more? Or would she have recieved support to take charge of her birth and seek out appropriate support people who would be sensitive to her needs (while being gently reminded that her next experience could be totally different given the right support and info, etc)? I think the latter. And I don't see why she deserves less than that just because the birth trauma she has experienced was vicarious.
I also think that if we accept that a positive frame of mind towards birthing affects a woman's outcome then we should accept that a negative/fearful frame of mind is possibly going to adversely affect the woman too. And we don't change a woman's fear by continually pointing out to her that her version of research/information is invalid. We do it by firstly inviting her to talk more about her fears. I didn't see anyone (myself included) asking her to share her experiences of what she had witnessed and how she felt about it.
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