to you, starrysky.

You don't need to pretend you're crying about nothing. You're crying about a VERY nasty trauma. There are always some people who just don't get it - don't talk to them. It's so hard to keep your head on when you're giving birth, let alone stick up for yourself (which in my experience doesn't work anyway) - I feel just as bad because I didn't give birth and I fought tooth and nail. So I spoke up, but wasn't heard. Was ignored. Was told that what I was saying (ie it wasn't hurting me) wasn't so; I was a liar. Fighting won't make you feel better. You may think "I could have done that" - but tbh I did that and you're still ignored, just a statistic, just a number... who cares what you are actually saying? You probably saved yourself some trauma at the time, although it doesn't feel like that now.

My mother didn't have a hand stuck up her birth canal. Her mother had a homebirth. I didn't - why not? (Because I had crap support? NO!) Because I AM NOT MY MOTHER. I am not her mother. I am not any other woman who has ever given birth (or not).

You let it out as often as you need to. And please don't dismiss your feelings.