I don't mind you asking at all. I did ask at my appointment where my c/s was scheduled if I would be allowed to deliver and they told me no but the doctor couldn't really give me any answers as to why, just that if she was a frank breech they would have let me try - hospital policy. She was footling so there was no chance of trying naturally. Through my own research I have found that it was probably concern about cord prolapse.
When I rocked up at the hospital, I didn't know that I was progressed so far. The midwife gave me an internal to check on me and without saying a word, ran out of the room and came back in with six people - 2 doctors and 4 midwives. They all did things to me. I didn't get a chance to ask at that point I was too overwhelmed by what was going on and the fact that two of them were holding me still during contractions and the doctor was telling me to lay still because if my waters broke I would have to have a GA rather than just a spinal. At one point she told me to stop pushing (which I also didn't realise that I was doing). I didn't really question it at this point, I lay there crying while people did things to me - someone was shaving my tummy, someone else injected my tummy, someone apparently gave me an ultrasound (DH tells me they did but I didn't notice), someone was explaining to me about the c/s and gave me forms to sign, someone was holding me still, someone was stripping off my clothes and redressing me ... there were people everywhere.
I questioned it more afterwards when the midwife that took me down to the ward said 'Pity it didn't just happen for you naturally' - probably not the most encouraging thing to say to me at that point because that has left me wondering though she could give me no answers as to why what happened, happened. And neither could the doctors that came to see me over the next couple of days. It was just following procedure.
I think more than anything I felt powerless. Because I was in labour - and out of control of myself by that point anyway (I was pushing and didn't even know it), all the power of the decisions was taken out of my hands. DH was taken out of the room very soon on and gowned up. I was in the operating theatre for a long time without him - once they were ready to start the procedure they let him back in so I was also alone for a lot of it without my support team. We weren't even allowed to bring our camera with us but I am told other people can. It was all very strange.
I don't feel like you are judging me - you are really just asking a question that I have asked myself a thousand times since it happened. I was not prepared for it to be that way at all - I didn't really know what to expect and thertunity never arose beforehand to discuss my options. The only way that I know that I was 9cm dilated was because they were talking about it while they were doing things to me - no one ever actually told me.
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