I dont think you are being unreasonable at all, especially since private education had already been discussed, and you have offered 50% custody, more than most mothers would ever dream of doing.
My ex does not pay 1 cent towards his children. CS says he has to pay $5.70 a week (and that is for 2 children, yes, two children!!!!). He can't even manage to do that!
He has his own business (which he obviously dodgies up the books). It is an extremely successful business, he also has his own HUGE home and a healthy supply of drugs. Oh well, I don't really care, I don't want his money and the girls aren't interested in seeing him anymore anyway, especially since they don't even get birthday or xmas cards. Occasionaly a birthday call to say something is on the way (which never arrives), but even those calls are only every couple of years.
I'm sure he makes sure there is just enough contact so that they can not change their surnames to my DH's name without his written permission. GRRRR.
Hey Marlene,
DH has a business too, we dont dodgy the books, but his income at the end of the fin year is always a lot less than is reality... due to the profit and loss situation of the business (its not a company)
Unlike most men, DH is happy to contribute to the cost of raising his DS... One year he had to again go to the CSA for an interview as the assessment came back as saying he need to pay something like $20 an month, there was no way that we believed this fair and continued to pay the amount that was set for the previous year... the reason that it was reassessed was that his earning CAPACITY was greater than what was reflected... can you not ask for a reassessment on those terms.
I know that most women and mothers have it really really tough, and we (DH and I) have a huge dislike of those men that cant take responsibility for their kids - it means that he is unfortunately lumped in with a$$holes that are out there.
In reguards to the school fees, I have just discovered that if a ex partner had agreed to pay half before enrollment, CSA CAN make him pay!!!
I have just been through this with my ex, but he decided to pay without going through the process.
Just call CSA, and they can send you a form. He then has a form to fill too, saying why he shouldn't have to pay. I have been told by many that the father rarely wins, and will be made to pay. As long as he verbally agred to pay, then they make him honour that rather than pull the child out of private schooling.
SammieJane.....I do understand what you mean about your situation, but this is totally different, he has actually put the business into someone elses name that has nothing to do with the business (this other person hasn't put any money into the business and does not take a cut of the money). My kids also dont even get the $5.70 a week that he is supposed to pay (and it has been about 11 years since we broke up). Gee, times must sure be tough for him.
Mum of many- Im pretty sure you can get a change of assessment form from CSA and ask that the money for half the dental bill be reinbursed... Ring them and make sure.. I knwo they have a section asking if it cost you extra for the assessment child regarding medical and so on.....
Like i said ring CSA and ask them anything is worth ago....
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, he told you he would do these things. Apart from that, you didn't impregnate yourself! She's his responsibility as well! Can't afford it, what a joke. I love the way exHs can always afford stuff for themselves but not their kids. My dad always has the latest everything, came consoles and plasma tvs and everything. He estimated his income to CSA as being $1 . . . for the whole year! On account of the fact that he had debts which are his fault anyway! I don't think he ever finished off paying the arears before I turned 16. I must've subconsciously "married" my father, because now exP has lots of debt and refuses to pay child support on that basis, and because he can't hold down a job. But he can still afford to buy xboxes and tropical fish tanks and gamble thousands at the casinOk this turned into a rant about the crappiness of the men in my life LOL. Point is though, you're not being unreasonable! Though I don't think he'll follow through on what he said. And since he's being a cheapskate and not paying, he shouldn't have any say in what activities and schools DD attends.
Oh well, I don't really care, I don't want his money and the girls aren't interested in seeing him anymore anyway, especially since they don't even get birthday or xmas cards. Occasionaly a birthday call to say something is on the way (which never arrives), but even those calls are only every couple of years.
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